"You don't think of yourself as a carer. It's something that you do as a major part of your life. I don't like labels, they're for others to use. You just get on with the job and if you love someone it's not really a chore. Of course you need outlets and, if possible, some time and space. I've been lucky to have had both. Social Services were always there to respond to real needs.

The big issue that needs to be addressed for many though, is how to cope with the inevitable anger. Born no doubt out of frustration, it seems always to surface at support groups wherever 2 or 3 are gathered together to share their common burden.

I feel lucky that I was able to turn to a creative outlet for the expression of my feelings, whilst at the same time the level of assistance from domiciliary care, day centre and intensive home care packages made it just possible for me to struggle along with a full-time job as an art lecturer in a sixth form college. I felt all along the necessity to retain my identity as a person and an individual. Care organisations made this possible. They were the carers, I was the person who was enabled by them to retain some semblance of normality to still see meaning in my life and, most importantly, not become angry or bitter at what was happening within the family as a result of Moira's illness.

I have subsequently walked away from teaching and, despite some severe stress reactions to nearly a decade of trying to look after my wife as well as holding down a full-time job, I am nevertheless conscious of the fact that these creative endeavours might never have happened if the climate and infrastructure of support had not been in place over the years."

David Lindsay-Coggins April 1996