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This is getting out of hand! There is rampant reckless comma use; for instance, the pretty darn recherché werdle 'seel' has been presented with single and double inverted commas; the suspiciously recently anglicised 'apropos', sailing too dam garlically close to the Euro, "á propos", thrice in a few column inches; an intriguingly non-sequiturial manipulation of prior posts, accusing eco-friendly Crosbyites of kerbing their aggressive impulses by not biting people whose dogs aren't hungry because they often gambol BavSlicédly with 'Old Trash", who must have been "Young Trash' at some stage, on the Formby fourshaw. Is this in factually a secret codle for passing messages inadvertantly, unspotted and while we were at lunch? And, To Whit, the Greek term 'Hubris' - writ big - was bruited about when not many of our newer readers probably don't remember who Ol' Hub' even was or when he whelked on darkled Dover Beach. I would like to make an impassioned plea, call, exhortation, for a return to the equanimity, balance and scholarship that rendibuled our verily own TCC its deservédly international fame of worldwide note and daunting stature. Disturbing stature. Well, stature anyway. Show on road! Tight ship! Watchword! Mean what saying meant! Go, the Reds!

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., Vendredi, Fri Nov 1 16:00:59 2002


Apropos of something else people who keep dogs rampant on Bav slices haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
M.Iau <chat@matou.net>
Bali, Verne, , Fri Nov 1 15:10:24 2002
Apropos of the exact same nothing, the foreign community here define a nano-second as the time lapse between the traffic light's turning green and the first horn blast.

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., Caracas, Fri Nov 1 14:38:55 2002


Apropos of nothing: heard a good Spanish epigram 't other day which translates as

A Catholic priest is a man who everybody calls "Father" except for his own children, who have to call him "uncle".
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
Amsterdam, , , Fri Nov 1 12:01:45 2002


Yes, Stephen the ghostly "Old Trash" is well known in Formby. Bonnie the Dog plays with him most mornings - such frolics! And talking of things canine, If these sad SMOBs don't get a life, the Burbo-based Bonnie/Honey the dog coalition will begin to show its teeth. Grrrr...
Mayor <>
of all things 'sand', , , Fri Nov 1 07:25:26 2002
Tonight, headless soldiers on galloping horses fight their way into Maghull and "Old Trash" roams the Formby dunes. http://www.tcpstudios.com/zurichmansion/villages/formby.htm
spotter <stevenpotter@freudian.com>
, , , Thu Oct 31 18:05:56 2002
Dear 1 who counts, I am interested to know, now that years go by each quicker than the one before, whether I have really to stand every time you or your mates come round or will a symbolic 1'nce a month fill the bill?

..& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., Vendles, Thu Oct 31 13:38:32 2002


Fourthed!
One who counts <one@twothree.edu>
Crosby, .., .., Thu Oct 31 13:05:43 2002
i think the anthem should be called "the rose of traburbo" in honour of the lee family whose long service sheltering ships ought not to go unacknowledged.
rose lee <gypsy@caravan.biz>
rollin' rollin' rollin', ...., Rollin' etc, Thu Oct 31 12:48:25 2002
Sorry Dickie ol boy, you are confusing us with people that give a flying one
John Hodge <>
, , , Thu Oct 31 11:10:59 2002
Would Burbo's Web give its "seel" of approval, I wonder, to a shuttle service between the Great Sandbank and the proposed new Moor Lane roundabout helipad ? Where is/was the old helipad ?
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Wed Oct 30 14:24:48 2002
Good site and given the BuboWeb 'seel' of approval. However, methinks thou dost underestimate the culinary delights of the Ko Sing - the approved destination of the annual Brooke reunion. Yummy!
Andy Melia <>
Burbo, , , Wed Oct 30 08:06:36 2002
Don C. 1981: for the latest, the hottest, most hard hitting, most low down and sensationalised, prefabricated scandalous CROSBY GOSSIP that you will hear ANYWHERE IN THE VILLAGE (as advertised) you are invited to search within the following site: http://www.apnw18331.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Whats%20Happening/Whats%20Happening.htm Failing that knock 3 times on the door of the DOS HOUSE, 11 Moor Lane.
Lucky L. <google@votreservice.trash>
, , , Tue Oct 29 18:22:24 2002
How about the fact of Smigger's wife putting him out with the rubbush?
Edward Lionheart <www.stmarys-oldboys.co.uk>
The Critics Circle, , , Tue Oct 29 16:07:22 2002
just looked at this and got a bit confused, and a bit bored. anyone got any good gossip??? something to liven the guest book would be nice-there must be some scandal in this little suburban village!!!
doncorleone <doncorleone1981>
crosby, liverpool, england, Tue Oct 29 15:27:25 2002
Dear John H, After recent experience with flag proposals, Albion's duly formalised and BW's 'bigger tent' Vulgate version, rendering the whole accessible to sundry and all, the task you propose would appear to have been underway awhile already and re-accommodotory adjustments to have it fit snugly wherever shouldn't be unduly unnerving for the calibre of practitioners on hand. As for incorporating doggies rampant whose legitimacy of membership on TCC should be on the agenda of the consitutional committee's next meeting, I feel there may be reflex, a resistance, a counter sentiment, owing not to the desirability of Bonnie per se, ipso facto, per cogitum reflectum mulieribus, of itself, inherently so to say but rather because, given Bonnie, what will you tell the lady who shows up to register her sloth, goldfish, boa constrictor -well, pace lurking politicians, 'no reptiles' might do - or whatever? Tuesday reflexions,....

.... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Daily Darker, .<, Vendles, Tue Oct 29 14:28:00 2002


ffrank: On Wednesday probably not...BRIGHTER AND CALMER.
Burbo Met <>
, , , Tue Oct 29 14:23:34 2002
Against Burbo's nautical background, not to speak at high tide, of its nautical foreground, shouldn't that be "Duffel Coat Of Arms?"
Rock All <veernot@b4brekky.nau>
Offshore, .., .., Tue Oct 29 13:49:25 2002
Mr Mayor, Is it not about time that we had a coat of arms, my suggestion is Bonny and Honey The Dogs rampant and a pair of Bav Slices sinister on a background of Waterloo sunset
John Hodge <john@plazacinema.org.uk>
Peoples Republic of Brighton -Le- Sands, , , Tue Oct 29 13:10:36 2002
Enough wind to really turn those wind turbines eh Mr. Mayor (Worshipful)?
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Mon Oct 28 22:11:38 2002
the guy out of the dos house has done a moonlight with me motherboard. if any one sees me outside sainsburys with me guy please spare me a copper or two
kevo <scousertommy1@aol.com>
crosby, liverpool, england, Mon Oct 28 21:08:04 2002
Fear not, people. Burbo was inspected this morning by myself and Bonnie the dog and everything is calm.
Mayor (Worshipful) <>
, , , Mon Oct 28 17:53:39 2002
Dear BM, Shall we make it Wednesday, then?
Rock All <Veer@whetheror.net>
Offshore, .., .., Mon Oct 28 16:23:46 2002
IRISH SEA: SOUTHWEST 4 OR 5, BACKING EAST 5 TO 7. RAIN. MODERATE OR GOOD. SHANNON: SOUTH 4 OR 5, BECOMING CYCLONIC 5 TO 7, PERHAPS GALE 8 LATER. RAIN. MODERATE OR GOOD. BURBO: 3 or 4 MODERATE SINKING GENTLY. CALMER PERHAPS BRIGHTER WEDNESDAY.
Burbo Met <av@gday>
, , , Mon Oct 28 15:43:04 2002
i would like to thank the geezer who owned the dos house for the note of thanks on shutters for all the custom over the years from crosby folk ya right he could not be a***d.what about all the warrantys of bits + systems ect.does he give a s**t no.do us all a favour arsehole dont open again in crosby we dont need your kind in crosby among good shops and owners.
mark <>
, crosby, , Sat Oct 26 23:31:11 2002
'Struth, JJ, as always you have points worth making when shooting the breeze. The fact remains America's founding fathers did not practice what they declared and thanks to their successors the heaven-sent and self evident seem to have gone with the wind. Let's end this shooting and allow, in the words of the poet oft quoted by thee, "into a gradual calm the breezes sink".
spotter <stevenpotter@freudian.com>
, , , Sat Oct 26 17:17:55 2002
I think Burbo Wannabee should be congratulated for acknowledging that TCC is the premier channel of a Celestial Energy, all innocently packed in, barely fattening, BavSlicery writ about the size you fancy. That would account for the various mystical links to items and figures past and might too account for the notable shelf life of the whole Burbo phenomenon, currently only known to us via TCC but which may lead God knows whereto. And who'll be out there doing the leading, rolling, rôle-ing, whatever. One muses.

Dear Spotter, No offense at all and no 1-upmanship perceived. I just wondered how something self evident could be based on anything beyond itself, be it a pack of lies or whatever else. Were that the case, then the item in question would not be 'self' but 'otherly' evident.

Now, since Tom kept slaves (and I don't remember offhand his subsequent actions in their regard but he did have issue with at least one, whose descendants were recently met together in DC), does it invalidate his contention that all men are etc etc? Not really; it merely shows that even he, manifestly a man of his times, fell short of the created ideal, as it were. He was after all only 33 when he set down the Declaration. I have always seen the statement as one of an ideal that so, despite my own failure to date to achieve it, doesn't per se lose validity; his having made an alteration in his final draft is straightforward enough if he wrote the document was in the first place.

As for the Venezuelan situation, byzantine, in flux, not to speak of never a dull moment, the whole thing is as it is because the various rights and purposes of government, whereof even Tom would only claim authorship, not origination, are being grossly honoured in the breach. I would contend that the dissidents moved because they felt indeed, as you cite, "That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.” and that the present version here is not making any progress in that direction, mainly because they are driving in an entirely opposite one. Wherewith I seek to convey that our present situation here would confirm Tom's contention rather than provide evidence against it. I think.

It was nice to see the good old 'codswallop' in print again, taking one back to the days of rascals, bounders, blackguards and people who, when unintroduced, declared that one 'had the advantage' of them. Not to mention Preseland Road at four in the afternoon. Or Geneviéve Bujold.

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
jj, .., Vendles, Fri Oct 25 22:23:35 2002


TAX ES
libraary <businees>
independance, ?????, USA I THINK, Fri Oct 25 21:12:57 2002
TAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
TAZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz <Tazzzzzzzzzzzzz>
TAZZ VILLEEEEEEEEEE, TAZZEM, UNTAXZZZZ, Fri Oct 25 20:57:35 2002
lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
l <l>
l, l, l, Fri Oct 25 20:52:32 2002
ggggggg
r <r>
r, r, r, Fri Oct 25 20:51:56 2002
ggggggg
r <r>
r, r, r, Fri Oct 25 20:51:30 2002
Chris, if the DOS house is dead gone for ever are Forefield Rangers Under 11's now shirtless?
spotter <.>
, , , Fri Oct 25 18:58:30 2002
Mr. Mayor: Waiting for the headline BAV SLICE - Burbobank Adds Value Supplies Local Inhabitants Celestial Energy.
Burbo Wannabee <garbagein@garbageout.tcc>
, , , Fri Oct 25 17:43:52 2002
Burbo Wind? Or shooting the breeze? I'll go for the breeze.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
jj, .., Vendles, Fri Oct 25 16:35:03 2002


The good Lord Mayor of Burbobank, with admirable strategic vision and operational efficiency, has encharged CRAP with research, convened BURP to investigate wheelie bins and has now given us BUM, all, as their acronyms imply, sharply focussed on the Great Bank's principal activity -WIND.
Seeing Red <annefield@lobbyist.com>
, , , Fri Oct 25 14:55:42 2002
A good PR headline may result from all this: "BURP WINS - BINS SMOBs!" I'll pass it on to BUM, the Burbo Marketing department.
Mayor <>
Burbo, Always O'pun for business, , Fri Oct 25 08:59:59 2002
I would like to register a grievance on account of the previous posting. Sometime ago we debated the issue of RUBBISH/ TRASH/ GARBAGE COLLECTORS. It was tentatively agreed upon, subject to ratification, that any future reference to RUBBISH/TRASH/ GARBAGE COLLECTORS by titles other than that of "SANITARY ENGINEER' would not be tolerated by unionised membership. A respectable and acceptable abbreviation would therefore become the "BUSEP". We'll run that one by the office of Heraldic design and see what happens.................P.S. Please be sure to lower the St. Mary's flag to half mast.
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, Tronno, , Fri Oct 25 03:57:13 2002
BURP (The Burbo Rubbish Panel) have been kept busy!
Kia Ora <downunder@waikikamukau.com>
, , , Fri Oct 25 03:06:55 2002
THE OLDBOYS (R.I.P.) ARE TRASH!!

1997 Their Steward BINNED them

1999 Their Headmaster BINNED them

1999 They LOST a hopeless, self-inflicted court case and a Judge BINNED them

2000 The Police BINNED them

2000 Their own Solicitor BINNED them

2000 They LOST another hopeless self-inflicted court-case and another Judge BINNED them

2001 Their replacement Steward BINNED them

2001 Their membership BINNED them

2002 Their LANDLORDS BINNED them

2002 Now even Smigger's wife has BINNED him...
Bin Laden <>
, , , Fri Oct 25 02:30:31 2002


J.J.This is not spotter one upmanship but I thought my reference was self evident, i.e the bit in the declaration about holding as a self-evident truth the fiction " that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."..... Drafted by a man who owned slaves and who changed the words "sacred and undeniable" in the original draft to "self evident"..... There then follows a passage which you know in Venezuela to be a load of old codswallop: "That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.”... But back to Crosby and things local... any talent worth spotting in Crosby Stuart ?
spotter <stevenpotter@freudian.com>
, , , Fri Oct 25 01:51:44 2002
Now there's a thing! Given the diffuse nature of imagery of yore, as it pervades its way, occasionally, through smoke filled ambiances, is anyone in a position to bet hios shirt that the Bootle cow and the Burbo bells are entirely unconnected phenomena, generically divorced? How about dumping the Burbo Bell requirement altogether, replacing it with simply being able to respond naturally to the mating cry of a Burbo Belle, easier by far than bell and cow stuff. I think. Besides, I can do the Belle thing in my sleep.

Dear Spotter, How do you make out the thing where 'self evident' truths being based on something beyond their 'self evident' character? I don't get that. Also, I looked again at the Declaration (at http://memory.loc.gov/const/declar.html) and wondered which lies you were referring to exactly?

I refrain from asking his mayorship which other menagerie members, if they can come through, can be blind-eyed, Russian Bears, German Eagles, les gazelles de Pomfret Major Sur Mer...

& God Bless
jj <jj>
jj, jj, Vendles, Thu Oct 24 21:53:21 2002


For a generous donation to the Mayor's 'Charity' Stephen, I'm sure a blind eye can be turned to the Bootle Cow.
Mayor <>
, , , Thu Oct 24 15:53:31 2002
The problem with self evident truths is that they are usually based upon a very persuasive and unrealistic pack of lies such as those detailed in the American Declaration of Independence. Mayor Melia: Do those of us who were unable to pick up the sound of Burbo bells over the constant mooing of the Bootle cow qualify for membership of your select splinter group?
spotter <stevenpotter@freudian.com>
, , , Thu Oct 24 15:44:25 2002
Dear Aunty Schopenauer, Does that mean I can ask my wife to move on to accepting me as self evident, then? Please reply cryptically because she is a big lass and can read.

Thanking in advance!
Unselfassured <gerrofright@awayplease.edu>
Tunbridge Wells, .., .., Wed Oct 23 15:12:12 2002


All truth passes through three stages.

First, it is ridiculed...
Second, it is violently opposed...
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.....

Schopenhauer <>
, , , Wed Oct 23 02:20:17 2002


The MASK OF SANITY has started to slip recently. Both amateur and professional psychologists should analyse this statement, actually put into writing by Napoleon Blownapart and sent to a disbelieving OldBoys membership...

"For the third year running the Club has traded at a loss!
Deposits in the Savings Bank have been virtually wiped out just to pay the bills!
Last year I WARNED the membership of the very position in which we now stand!
My exhortation 'use it or lose it' seems to have demonstrated your preference for the latter!...."

Go figure!
Van Helsing <>
, , , Wed Oct 23 00:30:21 2002


" The Bells of St. Mary's I Hear They Are Calling"......... has now been changed to "Were Calling" and to the sound of "JINGLE BELLS" Please sing the words "BURBO BELLS", "BURBO BELLS" (and rejoice)!!!!!!!!
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , , Tue Oct 22 22:47:57 2002
Public announcement: to counteract the peurile SMOB nonsense a splinter group has been set up. It shall be named SMOBurbo. Only bona fide applicants born/raised within the sound of Burbo Bells may apply.
Andy Melia <>
Mayor, The Great Burbo Bank, , Tue Oct 22 13:14:25 2002
Anyone remotely acquainted with personality disorders - and also with the private and professional history of the OldBoys' pint-sized version of James Robertson Justice(aka Sir Prancelot *Splatt*) - could have easily predicted the outcome of all the recent bother.
It was inevitable, one way or another - sooner or later - that, given half a chance, this highly-abnormal person would smash the Club to smithereens on the anvil of his own inflated, inflexible ego. It was not a matter of IF, but WHEN...
As it transpired, it was appropriate and deliciously ironic that it fell to a successful former pupil of this failed ex-schoolteacher to teach HIM his ultimate lesson....

Van Helsing <>
, , , Mon Oct 21 02:31:49 2002
Andy, Of course some of us had a better upbringing. We can claim to be UCOB's.....And am I ever glad that I emigrated otherwise I might be embroiled in all this. Those poor Ursuline nuns would be turning in their graves if they ever for one minute thought that I had turned into a hard core belligerent who had nothing better to do than drink all night in some highly conspicuous den of iniquity while my real motives were to do the work of the DEVIL. Just think how these poor old servants of GOD would take to the nasty messages that are being posted on this channel by those who were trained to be good CATHOLICS, no doubt. And if good ol' Monsignor Redmond were still alive, well, he'd be dishing out the HAIL MARY'S (appropriately) and the OUR FATHER'S right left and centre.
frank- <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Sun Oct 20 14:14:47 2002
Top of the league, Ma!
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Burbo-in-Exile, , , Sun Oct 20 09:53:11 2002
Mind you, the OldBoys have been skating on thin ice for decades: RACIST, MISOGYNIST, HOMOPHOBIC, WIFE-BEATING, HEAVY-DRINKING.. and these are just some of the finer qualities of some of the chairmen. And believe me, they really DO believe these ARE fine qualities...They revel in their iconoclastic atavism. These dinosaurs only seem to respond to ultimatums. Years after their School went co-educational, these throwbacks were still refusing to allow female members (not that they were exactly queuing up to join, but that's not the point...) The then Headmaster had to put a gun to their heads to get them to change their 'minds'.
Good riddance to bad, out-of-date, incorrigable rubbish - I say!!

Brother O'Helligan <exiles@craggyisland.ie>
Craggy Island, Republic of Ireland, , Sun Oct 20 04:31:59 2002
He is sixteen going on seventeen, that's obvious and 2-1,2-1,2-1 2-1 now that's something hugely important.
Mountain Climber <do-re-mi@soundofmusic>
Toffeetown, , , Sun Oct 20 00:50:56 2002
There are also issues which are not obvious but which are hugely important.

A members club is not the same as a pub. A pub licensee/manager has an absolute discretion to serve or not to serve anyone he likes/dislikes. We know that before we walk through the door - and if we are not amenable to the pub or vice versa there are plenty of others to choose from. A club, on the other hand, is an entirely different proposition - every member is a joint owner of all the property of the club, and to attempt to remove one member is only possible, according to the law of England, on four conditions - ALL of which must be strictly adhered to.

i) the rules agreed among the members do actually confer such power on a committee of the club.
ii) such rules are followed to the letter.
iii) during such proceedings the principles of natural justice are followed.
iv) only bona fide grounds are permissible for such action to be taken against a member.

Alas, in the OldBoys case, there was repeated WHOLESALE disregard of ALL of the above. The whole thing was just a malicious private frolic doomed from the start to BOOMERANG BADLY on the originators. Even after being slapped-down at court these kamikaze-pilots decided to continue with their carnival of malice. Like Dastardly and Muttley in their Flying Machines, these losers came back week after week with some new harebrained, cack-handed, improbable scheme or excuse for their failure to catch their "pesky pigeon" - and week after week they would predictably crash in flames. This obsession went on and on until the club was inevitably destroyed...


Mr. Justice S. Tinks <>
, , , Sun Oct 20 00:28:06 2002


I´m still singing the blues, 2-1,2-1,2-1,2-1.
Rooney Tune <:-)@:-)>
, , , Sat Oct 19 20:18:01 2002
Just a minute, can't you see the logic error in your argument. If Lionheart was so powerful and determined, then the idiots who took him on deserved all they got, in my book. Don't forget he had been a quiet, unobtrusive member for 15 years before they idiotically invited him to DESTROY them. The Lilliputians would have been wiser to either leave Gulliver alone or make him their leader....
Mr. Justice S. Tinks <>
, , , Sat Oct 19 19:56:58 2002
I hope that Mr Lionheart and all of his other nom de plume friends don't start drinking where I do. God forgive any committee men, house managers or publicans who get in his way, He will shut you down and dance on your grave with no thought at all for the vast majority that go out for a drink to have fun. No more dances at the Old Boy's, not my idea of fun anyway but,Edward could you please get a T-shirt printed so that I don't have to drink in your sad company.
john paul <BIGTWERP@eresmas.com>
liverpool, , G.B., Sat Oct 19 19:37:06 2002
2-1,2-1,2-1,2-1 (to the tune of My Blue Heaven). This and the Senegal connection should keep our anfield lobbyist happily seeing red!
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Sat Oct 19 17:23:37 2002
sad news for all pc freaks the DOS house is dead gone for ever amen s**t. must find a new ps shop.
chris <>
crosby, , , Fri Oct 18 22:30:38 2002
ALL GUY MEN STAY OFF THIS SITE WE DON WORK AM OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
mugumania <mugu@mugu.com>
lome, togo, togo, Fri Oct 18 22:27:36 2002
I believe the COLD-JOYS are holding a final closing-down disco shortly. The DJ has been asked for a special request by the "management"....

"Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" - by THE SMITHS....
Mr. Justice S. Tinks <>
, , , Fri Oct 18 20:22:55 2002


Just to clarify the recent tragic news:-
ST. MARY'S FOLD-BOYS has gone BUST, and anyone who had booked the Club for a function should now urgently seek alternative arrangements....

Edward Lionheart <publicity@stmarys-oldboys.co.uk>
The Critics Circle, , , Fri Oct 18 02:49:33 2002
My wife and I recently visited friends in Crosby, and we had a wonderful time. Our hosts and their friends made us feel welcome and comfortable, and we enjoyed comparing our cultures. Wec came home with memories that we will always cherish. I want the people of the UK to know how much Americans appreciate and value your support in these turbulent times. May God bless the UK, and may God bless the USA.
ROBERT DEMARCO <RDEMA11793@AOL.COM>
WANTAGH, NY, USA, Thu Oct 17 18:59:02 2002
(to the tune of Amzing Grace) 2-1 2-1 2-1 2-1
John Hodge <>
Waterloo, , Nr Wales, Wed Oct 16 22:34:26 2002
Re milk floats etc: I had a milk round with Rushtons in Homer Green. We had a Bedford van. There's posh, as my old Welsh Auntie would say! By the way, it would seem Sparky's boys are giving Italy a right scare, it was 1-1 last time I checked. Cymru Am Byth.
John Hodge <>
Waterloo, , , Wed Oct 16 20:44:24 2002
John, Buster Keaton was good for a laugh.And for the younger contributors to this site, Buster Keaton neither played for Everton or played for one of Liverpool's famous bands........I think I'll pop by Southport and look for the Wall's ice cream van.......
frank the emigrant <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , Canada, Wed Oct 16 19:04:55 2002
Point taken about Naomi Klein preaching to the converted, but it does provide useful points when locked in discussion with unbelievers. Buster Keaton made a marvellous travelogue for the Canadian tourist board called "Buster Keaton Rides Again". Much of the footage featured old stone face winding through the vast landscapes on one of those rail carts operated like a see-saw.
John Hodge <>
, , , Wed Oct 16 18:05:12 2002
Absolutely agree that the should be more young and/or residential Crosbeians contributing to the guest book (*)Maybe we could get our "Little Englander" to go on the streets and force the lazy gits, at gunpoint, to contribute!

(*)It could be argued that, as this is a guestbook, we should limit the comments to the "lovely site, brought tears to me eyes" G.B.-type comments. So:

Claire, it's a lovely site and brings tears to my cheeks nearly every time I look in. They're usually the sort of tears one associates with raucous laughter ;) Thanks...
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.co.>
, Amsterdam, , Wed Oct 16 17:07:49 2002


Careful Frany or I´ll tell your mam.
Andy Melia <>
Burbo-in-Exile, , , Wed Oct 16 09:56:49 2002
Funny, H.M. The Queen didn't have any complaints about Canada OR our ethnic make-up. I think that we should turn this notice board into a religious channel. On second thoughts, no. I wouldn't want to take the blame for starting WW111. So, lets just take people as we find them whether Mick or Protestant OR the type of person that our little FUHRER referred to..............Before our esteemed webmaster has her way.
frankenstein <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , Canada, Wed Oct 16 01:21:17 2002
Nothing like a bit of anonymous solidarity to soothe the soul, eh?

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., Vendles, Tue Oct 15 20:35:29 2002


I agree this site seems to be full of boring old types half a world away who have lost contact with reality lol They always begin their polished intro with "Does anyone remember when blah blah" who cares? Lets get an IM chat board and lets hear from the younger people more who actually live in the place. I think it would be much more interesting and would attract more sponsorship from advertisers. Ship the old geezers out to the Albert Dock Maritime Museum where they can bore the tourists with their command of the English language
Lets hear more from some local people <who live @ Crosby.com>
and the surronding area, :-), , Tue Oct 15 19:26:21 2002
What's the news from Geneva?
SS <>
, , , Tue Oct 15 19:18:42 2002
Ehhhh is this really about crosby ? I would have thought the Crosby community would have been able to create a better website than this most of it doesn’t work  that’s really sad and as for this guestbook  its p*o get a chat room if you wanna chat ive herd IRC is the place to be /join #crosbysux
Frany (sacred heart) MPF <Cuntz@cr05by.co.uk>
, Liverpool, UK, Tue Oct 15 18:50:03 2002
i have crude oil for sale any interested buyer shuld contact me on my email;ekpereka2003@yahoo.com
ekpereka chukwuyere <ekpereka2003@yahoo.com>
lagos, lagos, Nigeria, Tue Oct 15 16:32:13 2002
De Burbo et connu?!! Ne pas oublier l'oncle Tom des Cobbliés, mon vieux, je vous en prie!
Brigitte des Bardots <etdieucrea@lafemme.lit>
Bordeau-sur-Alt, Départment d'Outre Vadim, .., Tue Oct 15 15:05:26 2002
I like that camera you have in the village, i used to live above there and its nice to see the village doing well and things looking good. are they working on something, why the fencing?
Nick Morris <nick@kklm.boub.com>
Manchester, Liverpool, UK, Tue Oct 15 09:00:04 2002
Burbo has some famous people too, you know. I mean, there's er thingymebob. F***y's aunt. Bob's uncle, Bonnie the Dog, Pele & Ginge the cats. And of course, who could forget what's his name?
Andy Melia <>
Mayor, The Great Burbo Bank, , Tue Oct 15 07:02:17 2002
Burbo has some famous people too, you know. I mean, there's er thingymebob. And er, F***y's aunt. bob's Uncle, Bonnie the Dog. And of course, who could forget what's his name?
Andy Melia <>
Mayor, , , Tue Oct 15 07:00:47 2002
Electric Milk floats and windfarms should convince Ms. Klein of Burbo and region's value to her crusade for sustainable development. So long as she doesn't take pot shots at the Bavarian Slice, when taking aim at "Brand Bullies", her views will upset only a small minority of the minority who bother to read her. As for any roll call of worthy Canadians: Paul Anka should always get a mention for letting Old Blue Eyes do his song Frank's way; Diana Krall and Oscar Petersen for their way at the keyboard; Glenn Gould, for his unique genius and mastery over the most complicated counterpoint; Wayne Gretzky for his achievements on ice; Bat Masterson for helping Wyatt Earp clean up the West;Glenn Ford for being the fastest left handed gun the screen has seen;Lois Maxwell for her Moneypennying of 007; Yvonne de Carlo for just having been Yvonne de Carlo;Lorne Greene for making the Cartwright homestead available to Bonanza;James Cameron for his Titanic production; Louis Mayer for putting Mayer into M.G.M; the Warner Brothers for putting sound on the track and Louise Poirier for bringing her Wonderbra to the attention of Cortaulds, at a time the Group was in need of a major uplift.
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Tue Oct 15 06:15:03 2002
The problem with Kanada is there are too many fookin JEWS there. Instead of your revolting, craven a*s-kissing of s**t-kikes like Klein, why don't you sort your own country out, instead of telling us all about it? We've got our own problems....
England wie Englander - Auslander Raus!! <>
, , , Tue Oct 15 03:35:48 2002
John H., Naiomi Klein does have a reputation for being a professional s**t disturber and indeed has written some enlightening articles. She is anti-globalisation which is a good thing as we need entrepreneurs ( closest that I can do in French). Trouble is, her articles are read by a limited readership so the average Joe-on-the-street has probably never heard of her, and that's in Canada! As for the CIRQUE, anyone here who has never heard of them probably doesen't know their *** from * **** ** *** ******. Do you understand Canadian by the way?
Frank in Toronto <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , , Tue Oct 15 00:33:05 2002
And now, regional milkfloat prominence to add to the steadily lengthening list! Where will it end? On reflexion, I suppose it was to be expected; it's just that, coming on the heels of so many other leadership items, I just didn't see it coming. You'll note the natural synergy of the electric float leadership aptly harnessed to BavSlice leadership to render an insuperable twosome. Beat that, Elsie's Cakes 'n Stuff of 121,945,562 North 647th Street West, LuLuBelleVille, Alabamy!

Love You Guys!

....& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., Vendles, Mon Oct 14 21:30:37 2002


Competing with the very best of electric milk floats in and around Liverpool, (http://www.milkfloats.org.uk/liverflt.html) is a cake float delivering Bavarian slices and other sweet dreams on Moor Lane, Great Crosby.(http://www.milkfloats.org.uk/otherflt.html)
spotter <stevenpotter@freudian.com>
, , , Mon Oct 14 17:26:27 2002
Well, who'd've thought it? Liverpool's (quite fascinating) Dixie-loaded history and cloak and dagger 'neutrality but we'll build your (in the event, ferociously efficacious) warships anyway' connexions!

And Canada! A flowing of goodwill, going from Canadian, Eh? breakfasts in Columbia, sunny circuses, as it were and Globo-Activism writ BIG, not forgetting Geneviéve, natch, and overall, a welcome and easygoing appreciation all round, plus a familiarity, heretofore probably diffuse, with Nunavut, details at http://www.gov.nu.ca/Nunavut/ among others. Would the world have been apprised as succinctly as has been the case were it not for TCC, one muses? That has to count for something: how many community sites are discussing matters as diverse and globally topical as wind farms, MoD daftibility ratings, Cirques á tout faire, aircraft development milestones, Geneiviéve Bujold, ahem, Key Lime Temptations and Decadent Chocolate Chip Cookies, Power Bars, Roy Rogers and Trigger, polyfacetical burgeoning Burboism, and these but a single case of stuff, triggered by 'our' spotter in Florida, bolstered by our 'men in' the Tronnas, Formby and all sortsa in between to name but a few.

Go Claire!

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The darkening, .., Vendles, Mon Oct 14 15:11:52 2002


I'm with Tom (in a manner of speaking) - I've been into The Village a number of times in the last week and each time The DOS House was shut - does anybody know it it's closed down or just being done up?
The George's Dragon <>
Crosby, , , Mon Oct 14 13:28:47 2002
Also: My mum saw Cirque de Soleil in Las Vegas and thought they were stunning, I bought a video of them.
John Hodge <>
, , , Mon Oct 14 11:58:05 2002
Frank in Toronto: I should also give an honourable mention to Naomi Klein when thinking of great Canadians. "No Logo" is a veritible bible for me.
John Hodge <john@plazacinema.org.uk>
, , , Mon Oct 14 11:39:33 2002
J.J., The Cirque du Soleil have no equals. There's nothing to compare them to. Their performance is unique, ethereal, spellbinding, mystical, very skillful and very entertaining. The performers, the costumes, the colours, the clowns, the eerie voices that accompany each performance will send shivers down your spine. Go to their web site at www.cirquedusoleil.com turn on your sound and play with the site. Better still, keep an eye out for the Cirque coming your way which I doubt. They play in Canada and the USA which is a pity because they would be a hit no matter where they play. There are no animals in this circus.
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , C A N A D A, Mon Oct 14 01:39:16 2002
Seconded, second time around.
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
torontopolice.on.ca, , , Mon Oct 14 00:48:49 2002
can someone please tell me if the dos house.pc shop in moor lane closed down . thanks
tom <>
, , , Sun Oct 13 23:00:47 2002
Thirded.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., .., Sun Oct 13 20:05:22 2002


Seconded.
Mayor <>
, , , Sun Oct 13 18:44:53 2002
Please don't let the CC descend into abusive messages yet again. All it will result in is the notices being removed. Surely there is a better forum for venting your frustration than ruining the CC.
Claire Osborne <claire@interface-web.co.uk>
Claire, , , Sun Oct 13 18:19:17 2002
ctually Frank, The fact is that, quite apart from any parley-voo remnants I may be able to dredge up for Burbolene foreign ministry purposes, I just thought that that was the name of the circus. I have never seen any other version. Is there one?

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., Vendles, Sun Oct 13 18:03:38 2002


And what of big JED, a 4-eyed idiot who makes an a.r.s.e of himself at every AGM. Unhappily he shares the same surname as the victim in this case, but this one's a gobshite.

He once sqeaked in desperate and impotent rage:-

"WE MUST SOMEHOW GET SGT. TEESDALE TO REALISE THAT OUR PROBLEMS ALL STEMMED FROM ONE INDIVIDUAL!!...."

Well!!!, HE-LLO!!! don't you think that Teesdale knows his job - that he has tangled often enough with that "one individual"?? - the evasise, bilious, bumptious, supercilious, malicious, disingenuous, asinine barrel of humbug who has finally run the OldBoys into the ground....

Get your glasses changed - the "problem" has been staring you in the face since 1996....
Edward Lionheart <>
The Critics Circle, , , Sun Oct 13 16:01:14 2002


Mon Dieu j.j., I did not know that vous parlez Francais..Magnifique! .. Cirque d' Soleil, c'est bon!!!
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , Canada, Sun Oct 13 13:55:48 2002
Blimey, Frank, How did we forget to mention the Cirque Du Soleil? Pristine; Peerless: Canadian.

....& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., Vendles, Sun Oct 13 11:13:42 2002


Of the 9 GUILTY MEN who destroyed the Old Boys, it is interesting to note:

ONE has died... (only one?)
FOUR have resigned...

leaving only 4 (a MINORITY!) still desperately f******g in the rigging of the shattered hulk....
Edward Lionheart <>
The Critics Circle, , , Sun Oct 13 04:30:54 2002


Actually jj, you're spot on. The rumblings at the time were,and have always been, that the Americans were slighted by the fact that another country was ahead of them in fughter aircraft. It has come to light over the years that some members of the US military were so impressed with the ARROW that orders for these planes would be forthcoming from the US Government. Instead, Diefenbaker was suckered (or threatened) into buying up the obsolete BOMARC MISSILES that the US were replacing at the time. The ORENDA engines for the jet were also better than anything that the Americans possessed at the time. The jet engine manufacturing was in a plant directly across the road from where the fighters were being built. By sheer coincidence, I will be spending a few hours inside the former ORENDA plant tomorrow. It is now being used as a trade centre and is the venue for various trade shows. So while I am there I shall, now doubt, cast my thoughts back to a bygone era. With all due respect to the aircraft of the times like the Gloster Meteor, Hawker Hunter, NF-11, scale models of which adorned my bedroom in Crosby for many years.
frank in Tronno <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , Canada, Sun Oct 13 01:59:40 2002
Now, Nikki Smith, what was it you sneered 4 years ago??...

"WHAT POWER HAVE *YOU* GOT IN THE CLUB??"

Well!!! Now that your "Castle in the Air" has evaporated, perhaps you recognize that the gods do not give POWER to DSS paper-shufflers(except in their drunken imagination). You can now return to your proper calling in life - constrained to being pleasant and polite to The Great Unwashed - for the forseeable future....

btw, What's it like sharing a bed with a small WHALE - do you ever see much action???
Edward Lionheart <>
The Critics Circle, , , Sun Oct 13 01:53:10 2002


Dear Frank in Tronno, I had it that, way back in those very different days, Diefenbaker was placed under irresistable pressure from the American government whose own research, in the still powerfull penumbra of the war that they had done so much on the winning side of, couldn't challenge Arrow performance. There was a demand that the whole thing be dropped, without trace, hence the removal of all rtaces. That sounds like a load of unadulterated I know but then, the 50's were really very different. There were trams in Liverpool, Gloster Meteors over Crosby and the Americans, whose NIH, being 'not invented here'(hencely, rubbish), syndrome was stronger, were in a position to make that sort of demand. (Since WWI, they have bought only one foreign combat aircraft, the Harrier.) Now, whilst I don't have the gen, I can imagine that Canada was hardly in a position to disagree. Have you not heard owt similar? Or could comment on the feasibilty of this version? Not forgetting Genevieve, eh?

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., Vendles, Sat Oct 12 22:17:23 2002


Andy, it works in reverse too. Some of the more popular usages of the English language mean something entirely different to a Canadian. I would suggest that prior to one's first time visit to Canada, be sure to find out what NOT to say whilst here (especially in public). Get some "Canadian Counselling" prior to setting foot in Canada. Otherwise, thou might raise a few eyebrows........ As for you P.A., may I suggest a 26oz bottle of "CANADIAN CLUB?" Or for afternoon tea, may I recommend our SALADA tea or even RED ROSE. The drink of choice over here is, of course, hands down, TIM HORTONS coffee along with your choice of DONUTS, MUFFINS etc.........
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , Canada, Sat Oct 12 19:18:07 2002
Thanks to a local supermarket and their imported line of President's Choice Ancient Grains, Extra Fluffy Pancake Mix and Maple Syrup I had something uniquely Canadian for breakfast this morning. Will be saving the Key Lime Temptations and Decadent Chocolate Chip Cookies for teatime.
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Sat Oct 12 16:53:34 2002
USHER, one of the t*****s who destroyed the OldBoys, gave this arrogant response 3 years ago, when warned by fellow-members that he was embarked upon an illegal, immoral witch-hunt:
"SO WHAT? IS THE SKY GOING TO FALL IN ON US ??"

Well!!, how could you think you would get off so lightly????

NO!!, YOU USELESS, MISERABLE PIECE OF VOMIT...

THE SKY...THE SUN...THE MOON...AND THE STARS *ALL* FELL IN ON YOU!!!!!
ARGHHHH! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! ha ha ha ha..........

btw, have you ever read "THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER" - you'll enjoy it.....
Edward Lionheart <>
The Critics Circle, , , Sat Oct 12 14:54:50 2002


Not so with the only real Canadian I know Andy ~ I could send her this link to and get her to demonstrate but no one would be able to get a word in side/edge/upsidedown/topways!
Babs <>
Southport, , , Sat Oct 12 12:07:24 2002
In my (infrequent) contact with Canadians what's most impressed me is their succinct use of words. Working with a group of Tronno designers recently, I asked if any one had a spare "extension plug lead socket adaptor thingy". They looked at me blankly before realising. "Oh, you mean a 'Power Bar' ". Quite.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Burbo-on-Ontario, , , Sat Oct 12 07:58:38 2002
Thanks, J.J., You make me feel proud and patriotic. Just to enlighten everybody a little further, the youngsters especially, The referred to AVRO ARROW was an advanced fighter jet that was being designed built in Malton Ontario (site of Toronto International Airport - which actually is not in Toronto. It's in Mississauga and it was re-named Pearson airport after the late Liberal Prime Minister, Lester B. Pearson). For some controversial political reason ( please read Stupid, senseless, unknown, whatever but political decision should suffice) the then Conservative Prime Minister of Canada, John Diefenbaker abruptly called an immediate halt to the ARROW project causing the dismissal of around 17,000 workers. All prototypes, drawings, tooling etc. was ordered destroyed. This all happened in the late 50's I do believe. I had the pleasure of seeing the ARROW in flight before it was gone forever, The test pilot was a Polack who is still living. The upside of this disastrous happening was that the Americans got their space shuttle and Boeing got their big jets and British Airways and Air France got their Concordes. This is all to the credit of those who had developed that pride of Canada, the AVRO ARROW. Majority of the workers were in fact Limeys who were brought over to Canada by Avro. The old Avro factory is now part of Boeing and produces aircraft components. The old DeHaviland aircraft factory in Toronto now belongs to Bombardier but has fallen on hard times. Bombardier are famous for the SKI-DOO snomobilies but have since made a big name for themselves with airctaft and trains. As for the RCMP, alas that hallowed institution has now given in to the turban, another controversial issue in the Canadian saga.
Frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Sat Oct 12 04:37:12 2002
What comes to my mind when I think "Canada" is the legendary Bret Hart. Begoogle him - I'd take up acres of scrolling space.
The Don <>
, , , Sat Oct 12 00:10:01 2002
Sorry about that!

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
etc, etc, etc, Fri Oct 11 20:38:27 2002


Why is it that when people think Liverpool, or Canada for that matter, what comes to mind, first, foremost and virtually exclusively is practitioners of momentarily popular music than other stuff? Is there nothing else about Canada that comes to mind? The Arrow aircraft? The Bombardier Aerospace factory: who has not been awed by the design and suitability of their model 415, that unlovely glory so welcome to firefighters worldwide, capable, inter alia, of picking up a substantial load from any open body of water to return quickly for an efficacious extinguishing drop? Who else has sold over 700 regional jets of all sorts, in a very competetive market? Who makes anything to compare with their Global Express (Tokyo-Wash.DC 12 hours, Mach 0.85: Blimey!). And, as Crosbyites all, we have been almost brought up on Woodvale's Chipmunks, a de Havilland of Canada product of 1946 (Polish designer fellow mind you) and only relatively recently replaced. I don't know what the Canadians think of the RCMP now but, when I was a boy, they were an inspiration, indeed, every boy went through a period when his idea of life was to be a horseborne RCMP.

As for other stuff, there are the millions who've enjoyed "Anne of Green Gables", not Shakespeare, no, but certainly a book(s) for cutting your teeth on: I just gave 4 volumes to my 9-year old granddaughter, a lazy reading starter but who, after a quick shufti, knocked them off delightedly. Old Anne got her to self start reading in one easy lesson. TCC is full of reminiscences and memories of yesteryear, witness to the fact that childhood ideals and perceptions are critically influential in forming the caste of our adult essence: in that light, Anne easily rivals Shakespeare's sonnets.

What about the cultural heritage of all those 'Canadien voyageurs' of yesteryear? Some of their songs are at http://www.contemplator.com/folk.html and have contributed to Canadian's and others' culture. Showbiz must figure obviously but, being the case, then I feel that a longer view should prevail over an instantaneous take. And, there, Canada oozes talent from high and low, including but by far not restricted to: Pamela Anderson, Dan Ackroyd, Megan Follows, Donald Southerland, Mort Sahl, John Candy, Rae Dawn Chong and my very favourite, Geneviéve Bujold.

With all that and lots more besides, what does Canada need any Saxe Coburg incoursion for at all at all?

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, ,,, Vendles, Fri Oct 11 20:37:28 2002


Why is it that when people think Liverpool, or Canada for that matter, what comes to mind, first, foremost and virtually exclusively is practitioners of momentarily popular music than other stuff? Is there nothing else about Canada that comes to mind? The Arrow aircraft? The Bombardier Aerospace factory: who has not been awed by the design and suitability of their model 415, that unlovely glory so welcome to firefighters worldwide, capable, inter alia, of picking up a substantial load from any open body of water to return quickly for an efficacious extinguishing drop? Who else has sold over 700 regional jets of all sorts, in a very competetive market? Who makes anything to compare with their Global Express (Tokyo-Wash.DC 12 hours, Mach 0.85: Blimey!). And, as Crosbyites all, we have been almost brought up on Woodvale's Chipmunks, a de Havilland of Canada product of 1946 (Polish designer fellow mind you) and only relatively recently replaced. I don't know what the Canadians think of the RCMP now but, when I was a boy, they were an inspiration, indeed, every boy went through a period when his idea of life was to be a horseborne RCMP.

As for other stuff, there are the millions who've enjoyed "Anne of Green Gables", not Shakespeare, no, but certainly a book(s) for cutting your teeth on: I just gave 4 volumes to my 9-year old granddaughter, a lazy reading starter but who, after a quick shufti, knocked them off delightedly. Old Anne got her to self start reading in one easy lesson. TCC is full of reminiscences and memories of yesteryear, witness to the fact that childhood ideals and perceptions are critically influential in forming the caste of our adult essence: in that light, Anne easily rivals Shakespeare's sonnets.

What about the cultural heritage of all those 'Canadien voyageurs' of yesteryear? Some of their songs are at http://www.contemplator.com/folk.html and have contributed to Canadian's and others' culture. Showbiz must figure obviously but, being the case, then I feel that a longer view should prevail over an instantaneous take. And, there, Canada oozes talent from high and low, including but by far not restricted to: Pamela Anderson, Dan Ackroyd, Megan Follows, Donald Southerland, Mort Sahl, John Candy, Rae Dawn Chong and my very favourite, Geneviéve Bujold.

With all that and lots more besides, what does Canada need any Saxe Coburg incoursion for at all at all?

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, ,,, Vendles, Fri Oct 11 20:37:27 2002


What's the news from Geneva?
RR <>
, , , Fri Oct 11 18:20:21 2002
Yes John, and a lot more talent besides. Honourable mention goes to our Native Canadian drummers of course. If asked what was your favourite musical instrument you would likely choose the drum anyway..........Now an update...As I type, H.M. and HRH Prince Philip are being entertained at our Roy Thomson hall by the best of Canadian talent. While H.M. is celebrating her 50th jubilee, our CBC ( Canadian Broadcorping Castration) is also celebrating a 50th. So we've got a double whammy going on in Toronto tonight and the Queen is the main attraction.......Bye for now as I'm going back to my gogglebox to watch the rest of it..Oh yes, our weather is gorgeous for the time of the year.....
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , C A N A D A, Fri Oct 11 02:43:35 2002
Re: the Old Boys. The word is that the SMOBlets are as impotent in the bedroom as they are in the boardroom.
The Invincibles <>
Crosby, , , Thu Oct 10 17:54:00 2002
Frank in Toronto, I wouldn't worry about Celine too much, you've still got Neil Young, The McGarrigles, Martha Wainwright, Joni, Ron Sexsmith and many more fine Canadians. Love,
John Hodge <>
Down By The River, Rust Never Sleeps, Powderfinger, Thu Oct 10 14:07:11 2002
JJ. In your googling did you come across the web page about the "Rebel with a Cause" exhibition held at the Crosby Library in August/September 2001 ? http://www.csa-dixie.com/Liverpool_Dixie/exhib.htm Maybe it's worth a TCC link under Crosby History.It might help raise Southern support (and yankee dollars) for Liverpool's claim to be a World Heritage city. There is even a Sons and Daughters of the Confederacy site urging a visit to the Toxteth graves and "beautiful Liverpool"....so maybe it's not so odd after all that the Bulloch graves are being well cared for. Seems there is much more about Dixie to remember on Merseyside than William Ralph Dean's 1927-28 season. And Burbo should consider erecting a monument to the Shenandoah among its turbos.
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Thu Oct 10 05:28:34 2002
Well, you should have seen all the excitement here in TORONTO today when HM and HRH arrived. Royalty certainly seems to be the glue that sticks everything together. E11R certainly has charmed the entire (well almost) Canadian populace. Quebec may miss out on the opportunity but that is due to their indifference. Spotter, you seem to have a very good handle on things Canadian. Truth be known, probably the whole purpose for the Royal visit is to satisfy Her Majesties yearning for a good cup of Tim Hortons (officially no [ ' ] in the name). This will be a big change from that CAMP chicory essence with TT milk that they serve at the palace. As for Celine, I think that most of Canada is sick of her by now. Celine was the "girl-next-door" to many males in her eligible age group. At least until she was taken advantage of by that agent of hers. We are all sick of hearing about her test tube method of achieving motherhood. Mind you, having seen her child, I must admit that he is a real cutie. Looks nothing like her husband though. As regards coming west YOUNG man in June, I will qualify that suggestion because----that's the time when all the icebergs float by Newfoundland. An what a sight to see they are....Cheers (from HM'S colonies). Oh, we are still in favour of the Monarchy over here. There's no choice. Our Liberal government are a bunch of do-heads so it's a good thing for the Country to be able to look beyong the politicians who do nothing but embarrass all of Canada on an ongoing basis.
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , CANADA, Thu Oct 10 02:47:47 2002
Is it true that Smigger's wedding had to be delayed while his father went cap-in-hand to a judge, to ask for the latest court-case to be adjourned??? The gods certainly have a sense of humour and were not on their side....
The Invincibles <>
Crosby Village, , , Thu Oct 10 01:02:50 2002
I have been quite fascinated by the oodles of Liverpool-Merseyside Confederacy connexions. And there are plenty. Many thanks to spotter for the nod. There really ought ot be some inclusion of this out-of-the-way historic wrinkle in local upbringing. Oddly enough, the graves at Toxteth cemetry seem quite well cared for, bearing in mind that the main occupant has been using the facility for 101 years already. For anyone interested, I began by Googling up Commander James Dunwoody Bulloch

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, ., Vendles, Wed Oct 9 22:54:26 2002


Over 75% of the intelligent and informed public have now cast their votes, squarely identifying SMITH and his retard offspring as the destroyers of the Old Boys club. Napoleon Blownapart will soon be seeking exile(as he did once before) in The Birkey. You have been warned....
St. Mary's Oldboys R.I.P

Bin Ladin's understudy <dontfuckwithme@theartofwar.org>
Town: Here and There, , , Wed Oct 9 20:55:57 2002
Over 75% of the intelligent and informed public have now cast their votes, squarely identifying SMITH and his retard offspring as the destroyers of the Old Boys club. Napoleon Blownapart will soon be seeking exile(as he did once before) in The Birkey. You have been warned....
St. Mary's Oldboys R.I.P

Bin Ladin's understudy <dontfuckwithme@theartofwar.org>
Town: Here and There, , , Wed Oct 9 20:36:58 2002
Over 75% of the intelligent and informed public have now cast their votes, squarely identifying SMITH and his retard offspring as the destroyers of the Old Boys club. Napoleon Blownapart will soon be seeking exile(as he did once before) in The Birkey. You have been warned....
St. Mary's OldBoys R.I.P

Bin Ladin's understudy <dontfuckwithme@theartofwar.org>
Town: Here and There, , , Wed Oct 9 20:33:39 2002
Mr Mayor, Have returned from fact-fiding mission in Tykeland. Suggest we open a small Burbo/People's Republic of B-Le-S consulate. We could procure a Satties franchise and take Bavvies to the poor deprived masses t'other side of t'Pennines. P.S. Message from Honey The Dog to Bonnie The Dog: "Woof". She said B-T-D would understand. Hmmm keep an eye on them Andy, could be canine conspiracy
John Hodge <>
back@homeagain, , , Wed Oct 9 19:55:56 2002
Frank,it's unlikely I'll be searching for the North West passage next June. Are you happy that the Americanization of Canada continues to gather pace?. What's this all aboot Celine Dion being proclaimed Queen by your Deputy Prime Minister? Surely if Canadians are looking for some "uniquely Canadian" institution to spoil QEII's jubilee year they should be proclaiming Tim Horton as their one and only, everlasting Monarch. What could be more representative of the uniquely Canadian state of mind than to choose a dead man to be the " unnecessary, symbolic" Head of State. Think of the possibilities: A mug of steaming coffee on your dollar bill instead of some hereditary (and foreign) mug; donuts at his at your pleasure; Timmies Canadian Regiments, Mounted Police etc....The Maple Leaf removed things British from the Canadian flag. Wake up now, smell the coffee and you can remove Windsor from the Constitution. All you'll have to do then is defend yourself against Starbuck's.
spotter <stevenpotter@freudian.com>
, , , Wed Oct 9 19:28:04 2002
Frank: I think your advice to our freudian spotter in Florida should have read "GO NORTH JUNG MAN". Why wait until June 2003, by the way?
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Wed Oct 9 04:32:38 2002
Royalty will be here in TORONTO shortly. H.M. The Queen (the real one not the ship) will be dropping by for a visit. Our newspaper reporters have an ear to the ground for the usual (and usually comical) gaffe by HRH Prince Philip. Who knows what he will come out with next.... Now Mr. Spotter, Next June, you just get your a** over here and visit NEWFOUNDLAND ( pronounced NOOFENLAND by the NOOFIES who inhabit "THE ROCK" as they call it. They refer to us in the rest of Canada as "MAINLANDERS" The people are delightful, very friendly being of mainly Irish/British stock with the odd French name here and there. Many don't have the proverbial pot to p*** in but that is prescisely what makes them the salt of the Earth. So, Mr. Potter, GO WEST JOUNG MAN". Forget those tourist traps like Majorca, Florida,Brighton Zoo, Trent Gardens and even Southport. VISIT NOOFENLAND, the scenery is breathtaking and the people will welcome you royally. P.S. There's lots of single Newfie girls there as all the men head to the mainland for work..........
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , CANADA, Wed Oct 9 01:55:55 2002
The Old Boys is closing down!!! Hip Hip Hooray!!!!

WHY???

The answer is straightforward enough and is as old as history....

A moribund, anachronistic organization falls, by default, into the "control" of a handful of intellectually-challenged idiots, who consider the parking of their fat backsides on committee-chairs the summit of their lifetimes achievement, and behave entirely predictably....

Intoxicated on their so-thought "power", these aments really believed that by subverting all known law they could victimize and ostracize certain people with impunity, for their own amusement....
WELL, YOU STOPPED LAUGHING A WHILE AGO, DIDN'T YOU????

LOSERS YOU WERE BORN AND LOSERS YOU WILL DIE!!!!!

Did you really think for one moment that the Headmaster would cover up your crimes for you?????
NO, HE IMMEDIATELY DISOWNED YOU - BECAUSE, IN HIS WORDS, YOU WERE BRINGING HIS SCHOOL INTO DISREPUTE!!!!!

Did you really think you could fool a High Court Judge???
NO, HE TOLD YOU, EX-SCHOOLTEACHERS, TO "GO AWAY AND PUT ON YOUR THINKING-CAPS"!!!!!

Did you really think you could fool your OWN expensive barrister???
NO, IDIOTS, BECAUSE HE GLADLY TOOK YOUR MONEY OFF YOU- THEN THREW IN THE TOWELL AND COMPLIMENTED YOUR VICORIOUS OPPONENT ON HIS LEGAL EXPERTISE BEHIND YOUR BACKS!!!!!

Did you really think you could fool the Police???
NO, BECAUSE THEY OBJECTED TO YOUR LICENCE AND WILL DANCE ON YOUR GRAVES SHORTLY!!!!!

Did you really think you could fool your membership????
NO, BECAUSE THE VAST MAJORITY OF DECENT MEMBERS, WHO YOU SHAMELESSLY TRIED TO MANIPULATE, QUIETLY CREPT AWAY FROM THE CESS-PIT YOU CREATED!!!!

Did you really think you could fool your landlords?????
NO, THEY'VE GIVEN YOU NOTICE TO QUIT, BECAUSE THEY KNOW THE DIFFERNCE BETWEEN BUSINESSMEN AND LOSERS LIKE YOU...

GOODBYE.....LOSERS, IT'S BEEN FUN WATCHING YOUR CONVULSIONS FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS...

Know your limitations. Don't try and play serious games with serious people - the outcome is a FOREGONE conclusion.....
Bin Ladin's understudy <dontfuckwithme@theartofwar.org>
HappyTown, , , Wed Oct 9 01:55:01 2002


Sad. According to the Crosby Herald, the Legion Club is going under as well...
Phillip Jones <>
Waterloo, , , Tue Oct 8 20:44:15 2002
St. Mary's Old Boys will be closing down shortly(in a few weeks). They are not now taking any more bookings for functions, and so I advise anyone, like me, who had a function booked there to try elsewhere, to avoid disappointment. We managed to get the Commies club as a last minute replacement venue....
Paul Williams <paul.williams@btinternet.com>
Crosby, , , Tue Oct 8 20:39:31 2002
Well, Spotter old fellow, that was really quite a round-up, as it were; Roy Rogers and Trigger, by Jove! "Home on the (Aga)Range" one muses. It brings Gene Autry, Johnny McBrown et al to mind. Still, I think alll these transatlantic connexions should somehow be reflected in the flag options under discussion as also in a second verse to the anthem lyric. And Cunard: we'd've been a building short if young Sam had stayed home, (Canadian)eh?

Yes, there's food for TTCers' implemetation of their natural fertility rights, sure enough!

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., Vendles, en la mismisima orilla!, Tue Oct 8 19:15:16 2002


About those early American connections, JJ, I have no knowledge of any Jeffersons in the borough. President Jefferson was a great friend of William Roscoe(of Liverpool Botanical Gardens fame). Philadelphia used his Liverpool plans for their own Botanical Gardens. You can check out a letter of Jefferson to Roscoe at www.loc.gov/exhibits/jefferson/75.html Some other connections: Teddy Roosevelt came to Merseyside to visit with Commander James Dunwoody Bulloch who was his uncle. Bet he didn't stay at the Liver but maybe he introduced the Bear Hug to Friday night wrestling at the Stadium. Now here's an interesting one about the theatrical Booths. An early local actor of the Booth family, Julius Brutus Booth, who performed regularly at the Theatre Royal in Williamson Square, eventually emigrated to the U.S. His son,John Wilkes Booth, assasinated Abe Lincoln. Local philanthropist Bryan Blundell, ( Bluecoat Chambers), transported thousands to the Virginian plantations and indirectly became a connected hazard to world health. Way back in 1582, this may be of interest to Frank in Toronto, a Mr. Haies of Liverpool was a financial backer of the first English colony in Newfoundland. And coming the other way, centuries later, Sam Cunard, of the ships, was born in Nova Scotia. But the 5p.m. connection I remember most: Trigger and Roy Rogers once stayed at the Adelphi. Dale Evans and the guitar were probably along for the ride also, but I always considered them to be a distraction.
spotter <stevenpotter@freudian.com>
, , , Tue Oct 8 18:57:21 2002
Does anyone have any memories of St. Mary's Old Boys Club (formerly Riley's ballroom) which I understand has recently closed? The whole block has been sold and will be redeveloped next year.
Geoff <gdavies84@hotmail.com>
Waterloo, , , Tue Oct 8 18:27:40 2002
Worshipful Mayor, I take it that PELE has given those SEAGULLS the boot and that GINGE went along for back-up?
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , Slightly larger than BURBO, Tue Oct 8 03:54:58 2002
In acknowledgment of its being the first, albeit mono-verse, anthem effort at all at all, I would propose Anon for this year's Poolitzer anthem prize. Go Anon!

And how utterly elegant to quietly pastel in that Belle Starr wore her 6-shooters slung at an angle to her waistly horizontal identical to that at which the River Alt at Hightown joins the Mersey by using her name in the e-mail addy. You gotta take your cap off to that. Welcome Anon!

It will have escaped no-one's notice that Crosby's early American connexions are tumbling in, fast and furious. I wonder whether spotter has a handle on that info source of the early days; would there have been any Jeffersons in the borough then, I wonder?

And so to the Slice Rate. Yes. Yes indeed. Altogether. I see the rate covers Satties' stuff. We must have a surefire method to avoid devaluation by forgeries: no "granny's as good as anyones'" or even home kitchen look-alikes. Any low-cholesterol financiers out there? ... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., Vendles, Mon Oct 7 21:19:13 2002


I write to advise that at 12.00 today the exchange rate for Sattie's Vienna slices was ... 1 V. Slice = 1.1 Euro. TYhought yo might like to know.
Uncle Frank <>
CROSBY, , , Mon Oct 7 19:18:30 2002
Seagulls, Frank? Absolutely no problem. Pele & Ginge the mayoral Burbo cats see them off with alacrity.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Mayor (worshipful), Burbo-on-Sea, , Mon Oct 7 07:59:10 2002
Flying free in Burbo wind, your flag is new and grand; your turbos facing East and West, farming energy from the sky. Fly- Flag- Fly! No matter where you stand, the Bavarian Slice on your great flag, makes Burbo your Homeland.
Anon <bellestar@dixie.com>
, , , Mon Oct 7 04:23:23 2002
Sadly, we have al been caught off guard. Whilst debating the issues of flags, military, One O' clock guns, tides, currency, anthem, tourism, casinos, government, local dishes and desserts, sewage disposal, landing rights, oil exploration, windmills etc., etc. those blessed SEAGULLS have landed and claimed BURBO. What should we do now? We risk upsetting the animal rights activists should we plan an invasion to evict these squatters.. I guess we'll just have to whistle Dixie.
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , Ontario, Canada, Mon Oct 7 01:18:20 2002
Sadly, we have al been caught off guard. Whilst debating the issues of flags, military, One O' clock guns, tides, currency, anthem, tourism, casinos, government, local dishes and desserts, sewage disposal, landing rights, oil exploration, windmills etc., etc. those blessed SEAGULLS have landed and claimed BURBO.
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , Ontario, Canada, Mon Oct 7 01:12:34 2002
Sadly, we have al been caught off guard. Whilst debating the issues of flags, military, One O' clock guns, tides, currency, anthem, tourism, casinos, government, local dishes and desserts, sewage disposal, landing rights, oil exploration, windmills etc., etc. those blessed SEAGULLS have landed and claimed BURBO.
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , Ontario, Canada, Mon Oct 7 01:12:33 2002
I would like to ask Burbo Wannabee what that is because my understanding of the Burbo phenomemon in all its political, social and, not least, geopolitical and strategic dimension, lately revealed as wider than previously imagined(spotter, Sun Oct 6 03:04:21 2002) entails an independant bunch of charlies, energetically claiming legitimate rights etc etc as do so many after domination de facto - the de juris bit still doubtful - by a greater, albeit ocaasionally benign, power. Each individual is inherently of the same sociopolitical dimension as the next. There are no 'Wannabee's': there are legitimate Burbogeans and the rest of the world and, given BW's immediately delightful vulgate version of one flag proposal, in itself neither limiting nor binding but rather enriching the 'flag discussion pot' so to speak, I'd've opined that BW is long since a full and integral part of the burgeoning Burbogeonship.

For another, though really only another take on the same point, from our Florida "spotter", I wanted to take issue with the phrase, 'When the final decision is taken on the Burbo flag I hope you....' implying that there is some entity, to which spotter doesn't belong - hence 'I hope you...'- that will take a flag decision. Well, if we are to have a set-up where each a is as good as the rest, then there ain't no 'you'. Whilst all such set-ups will ultimately designate fellas for flags, strategy, Sniggery infiltrations etc, at the present stage, spotter is as much of a flag man as any other, the more so, I'd say inasmuch as, thanks to his dilligence, we become apprised of our Burbo area's having constituted a geopolitically and socially pivotal entity in yet another of history's great milestones, being the American Civil War! If spotter's data update on Brighton-le sands and Burbo is the case, then I think that it would be remiss of any, as yet undesignated, flag committee to omit some reference to event and events thereform emanating and would further urge incorporation of one or more of the Dunworthy Bulloch addresses on tourist literature (starting with TCC's 'famous people' section?). The form of a flag inclusion of our Dixie past would be a matter for debate but I see the inclusion itself as a matter of duty.

The anthem: while seconding the mayor's gusto and feeling suggestion and Babs' Sattie incorporation proposal, I would like to observe that no mention has been made of the melody part; we can't keep the familiar one, a) because it jibes with Burbogeon independence; and b) because somebody's already using it. Babs, with her suggested modification of the mayor's initial one, has also broached the other point, namely, a mere taking of a familiar anthem and tweaking it doesn't cut the mustard. We must, I most urgently urge, tweak LARGE if ours is not to risk being called 'a ruddy knock-off'. So, while lyrics may be suggested, I myself personnally here would like to hear what folk would like as a melody: Lillibulero? Johnny Tod? Theme from Von Flotow's Marta? A potpourri affair, including a few bars from Dixie? The Dambusters' March? Hey Jude? Eleanor R? An updated Albinoni's Adagio, scored for basson and twelve-string guitar? The Wabash Cannonball? Take the A Train?

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., Vendles, Sun Oct 6 23:03:09 2002


When the final decision is taken on the Burbo flag I hope you can find a place on it for some belated recognition of Crosby and Waterloo's open support for the Confederate cause, during the years they went Dixie, at a time, Frank, when the Laird shipyards, around their one o' clock gun, built warships for the Confederacy. A small "Bonnie Blue" in the corner perhaps rather than the "Bars and Stripes" would please the Mayor's dog, I'm sure. Historically, the last Confederate surrender, of the CSS Shenandoah, took place in the Mersey off the great sandbank, and the Confederate hero and procuring agent in England, Commander James Dunworthy Bulloch, of Savannah, Georgia, when he first arrived on Merseyside in 1860 stayed at the LiverInn from where he eventually settled with his family in Waterloo. He is listed in contemporary directories, as the householder of several addresses there, at 2 Marine Terrace;12 Wellington Street;5 Cambridge Street; and Clifton House, Cambridge Street. Wanted, (Dead or Alive?), by the US government, this Southerner by birth stayed on Merseyside as an Englishman by choice, until his death in 1901. Take a Google into BBC Liverpool Local History-American Confederacy Connections.
spotter <stevenpotter@freudian.com>
, , , Sun Oct 6 03:04:21 2002
Dear Burbo Wannabee,>>>>>>>>>>As regards the ceremonial blasts which you have proposed for the unfurling of our BURBO flag. My suggestion was to borrow the old "ONE O'CLOCK GUN" from the former Cammell Laird's shipyards in Birkenhead. Any old timers on the channel will remember this. I believe that it was fired off as a signal to the workers to close their lunch boxes, put out their fags and get back to work. However, as you will have read from his posting, our Uncle Frank has a WW11 machine gun that will be the cat's meow.....Uncle Frank, how are you for ammunition? By the way, those wavy lines on Satterthwaites BAVARIAN SLICES would be the traditional ones which they make for the members of our Royal Navy Reserve who are also known as the WAVY NAVY. Splice the mainbrace boys, with TIZER of course!
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , Canada, Sat Oct 5 23:57:07 2002
Frank, out there in the colonies, that cantab fellow can be a right we and all that but, yews gorra admit, 'e can give us a lorra abbadabba when 'e talks best Blendellsahnds an' like 'e got nine outa ten at skule for all them deccies on the flag. Translating his ancient Heraldicspeak into Dicky Sam, Scousepeak does in fact evoke some memories of our teens, our teams, the greatest of Grand National horses, and even our heritage, past and present: We find : " Sanguine..... etc" translated becomes " "Nelson's blood (rum), screech red, on top of a zig zag, stickjaw, blue line with Satties tabnabs, faves and afters as top moggie, all tickety boo and glammed upto the nines, on their tod, at centre stage, standing tall and piffy, on smoked irishman sand, over the zigzagged blue, and above a three masted galley of the blueline,with sails effin close to the yard, under the red and white cross of England, and forward looking gold bladed, purple Burbo turbos, between twin golden pyramids, with cuttysharks, sprats, and saltfish under the waves and with spadgers and starvelings overhead in a parny, pea wack sky". Suitably marmalized, the cantab fellow might now re-think his flag proposal to the heraldic equivalents of other fond memories of scousespeak like, penny returns, blushing bunnies,dead fly pies, assorted icers, liquorice imps, dolly mixtures, frogspawn, King Edward tattis, (chosen for their red and white skin not their colonnial connections),slugs on toast,and wet nellies, to name but a few. Alternative deccies for flags, however, should consider most carefully, in the beyond the fringe sense of the word con-sider, whether the Burbo tax haven wants to appeal to bread an'scrape, no boot brigade, republicans or to higher net worth, sandgrounder, gentlerfolk. Anyway, the unfurling of the Burbo flag should always be accompanied each dawn by six booming blasts from the old Bootle Cow, ( blue eyed Bill might remember this foghorn from his Seaforth days).
Burbo Wannabee <garbagein@garbageout.tcc>
, , , Sat Oct 5 21:45:06 2002
Two Points: First The rules of the Range are that The Red flag is raised when shooting is about to take place. It is lowered when shooting is taking place. This reminds me of an experience when learning to use the Sten while in the RAF. First, the Sten had a short barrel, 3inches long, and was held at the front by the left hand turned so that the thumb poited towards the body. It had to held well to the fore so that the ejected shells did not sever the first finger, but not so far forward that the emerging bullets did not sever the little finger. Very difficult. Then, the instructions were that if the gun siezed up which it was likely to do at any moment, to throw it on the ground in front of you. It was an alarming experience when one day, a gun siezed, was thrown to the ground and promptly loosed of 30 rounds of its own accord! The second point, entirely unrelated, I don't think that anybody has mentioned that the icing on a Bavarian slice is marked with a series of wavy chocolate coloured lines. Surely an important motif to be included both on flag and escutcheon. Will persons of authority please confirm if I am right?
Uncle Frank <>
Crosby, , , Sat Oct 5 19:51:51 2002
Perhaps we can add a few sections to the old Crosby sewer pipe and run it the rest of the way to BURBO. It could then be utilized for a multitude of purposes. For example, it would become our version of the "CHUNNEL". Just a short ten minute walk from the mainland to the offshore Republic of BURBO. Tolls to be determined with a surcharge for smugglers. Natural gas or oil could be exported in an efficient cost-effective manner. Those who had the foresight and confidence to see the future possibilities of BURBO will make a fortune! Subject to the Mayor's cut, of course. I think that a few dollar signs on our proposed flag (along with the Bavarian slice) would be equally appropriate. All passing ships will be required to lower their flags in salute to ours. Does anyone know if they still use the rifle range at Hightown? At one time they would fly a red pennant when the range was open and the bullets flying. We had perhaps better warn them to shoot in a different direction otherwise our military might not be amused.
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, Toronto, The Queen is coming to visit, Sat Oct 5 17:04:48 2002
Tides don't worry us here at Burbo Uncle Frank. We just go with the flow.
Mayor <>
Burbo, , , Sat Oct 5 16:24:20 2002
I have just been handed a note of dire warning! Beware the (T)ides of October! Next week, The Burbo will suffer super inundation as all manner of astrobodies line up as a rank of Guardsmen to pull the waters of our planet with such an almighty heave that sceptics fear The Burbo may never be seen again. Too late to call in Cornelius Vermuyden of Canvey fame to build the necessary super tidal defence system. Our marine engineers should have done that a couple of weeks ago! No, there is only one man who can save us now and that is yes..... My Brother Sylvest, him withthe row of 40 medals on his chest(big chest). Older contrbuters will recall that the said gentlemen when wishing to visit Italy, drank all the waters in the sea (big sea!). But do we have his E address? What will become of us. Answers on a post card addressed to His Warship The Mayor, to arrive before High Tide on Tuesday next.
Uncle Frank <>
Crosby, , , Sat Oct 5 15:14:21 2002
"God Save Our Satterthwaites Cream"
Babs <>
Southport, , , Sat Oct 5 14:20:02 2002
Thank you all most kindly for your suggestions as to the Burbo national anthem. However, since the founding of our gloriously independent nation we have always stood to attention in honour of our very own Satterthwaites Bavarian Slice, singing with emotion, gusto and not inconsiderable feeling: "God Save Our Gracious Cream"
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Mayor (worshipful), Burbo, , Sat Oct 5 08:06:20 2002
So, we are finally face to face with Burbogeon NittyGritty: anthems, flag, sources of revenue, history; a challenge indeed. Let's simply start at the beginning, being the basic Burbo Essence whereof flag, history, anthems etc will sing and tell, namely, Burbo republicanism. I hasten to add that I am long since under the impression that Burbo was to be a republic, nowt else and, importantly, nowt short of it. If Burbogeons are not of a mind mewith, then let me say that my vote is for a republic pure and simple, though a republic, 'pure' and whatever, is untainted, it shuns dominant religions and per se gentry or gentryfying. I think it follows that the flag symbolology may well pay a passing nod to heraldic tradition, a bit of escutcheonitis never did anyone any harm, but doesn't of necessity have to do so: so, with all respect, why should care a jot about the opinion of the heraldic masters in some far off capital? I see this as a sovereignty issue: if we want our flag's fesses and furls to denote something, then we say so, elegantly, firmly backed up with scholarship and respect for third parties but not forgetting that they are just that. No more.

Having said that, I would further hasten to observe that I am far from the first to strike a resounding blow for Burbindepandance: AF, our flagman himself, already flagrantly, courageously and publicly dismissed hidebound tradition - tradition solely for tradition's sake - in the design of the flag shewn in his post; without so much as a 'by your leave', he blithely omitted the sharp accent belonging over the penultimate 'e' in 'dancettee'. Take that, 'masters'! And power to his arm, I cry! There's a man we can follow in the solid confidence of his committment to Burbo notwithsatnding the mildly worded 'red herring' protest, 'Who? What? Where? When?'. Let us not forget that, when the world knows that one of that sort of political sophistication is rowing for Burbo, it can only buttress the overall cause. I was struck to by the groundbreaking 'wavyline and nebulyline', relishing a hazy recollection of the the old 'de Maupassant' story, Histoire d'une Nebulee (de Maupassant, Oeuvres Completes, Sedan 1870, Staatsdruckerei.) (Aside: Yes but my home machine has no accents)

As for Queen Jules I, I had taken it as an honourary term of endearment endowed by a sort of extention from Beatrice and Wilhelmina somehow, underlining Burbo's Dutch bond, purely symbolic of course, being an acknowledgement of their low lying areas - below sea level - and our own Burbogeon ones. Such a foreign policy posture may some day pay off, in free goodwill dykery degree courses leading to a B.Dy and Ph.Dy, for instance.

And so to the history issue. Yes, yes and yes again: countering a grave and insideous modern tendancy I have observed that ushers electronic youth into adulthood, mentally locked almost always in the 'now', growing up, virtually 'without a past' as it were, our history project can only do good, taking in as it must the ample range of influences, from very ancient, to ancient and on down, all melded into the characteristic Burbogeon ready smile, indefatigable scholarship and rendering a people of such ready versatility and, oddly enough, drop dead good looks: the dark 'eyes of Araby' dash and elan, the penetrating Viking seagoing gaze and the irresistable and romantically rogueish stance, posture, je ne sais quoi, call it what you will, that's rubbed off from contact with jolly Irish traders, some of whom actually put down roots on Burbo. I am solidly behind uncle Frank's suggestion: let's hear it for the Mayor's imagination and literary skills in moulding the future by smelting the past into a jolly good yarn! Go, Mayor!

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
etc, etc, etc, Sat Oct 5 02:17:02 2002


Hey! Guess what? Queenie and hubby Phil have just arrived over here in Canada on a Royal visit. They were welcomed by the inhabitants of NUNAVUT. For the geographically challenged, Nunavut is the newest to be named territory in the Northern part of Canada where only the toughest can survive. For the life of me I can't understand why on earth H.M. had to show up at a destination like Nunavut wearing the usual drab attire complete with Queenly style head gear. Heck, what's wrong with a BARBOUR hunting jacket and a Vera Duckworth type of headscarf?.The locals don't mind..........Dear Uncle Frank in Crosby,..as regards defending BURBO, I understand that this project is being taken care of. Rumour has it that our worshipful Mayor, the Hon. Andy M. is breeding a new species of the NATTERJACK toad. Nasty agressive little critters whose sole purpose in life is to defend BURBO. They are to be referred to as ATTACKERJACKS..
ffrank in Toronto <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , Canada, Sat Oct 5 01:13:06 2002
hile it is right and proper that due consideration be given to such matters as Currency, Flags etc., Shouldn't someone be appointed to start to write up the hisory of the origin of the Burbo Bank,its various inhabitants of yester year etc? There may be connections with the Sands of Le Brighton. It has been suggested that connections in that quarter may reach variously to Norse regions. Even ancient Egypt has been mentioned. Then we should not overlook security. It has been suggested that when the turbines are built, provision should be made to deploy them in reverse thrust to blow away maritime invaders. Perhaps The Mayor with his imagination and literary skills might consider undertaking the Job?
Uncle Frank <>
Crosby, , , Fri Oct 4 21:21:43 2002
J.J. .....The swish tax sounds like a good revenue-producing idea. Let's go with that one. And let's not forget the land rent on those proposed big swisher things. I mean, after all, the LEKKY being generated is mainly an export commodity anyway. Besides, if we are to become a nation of FLY-BY-NIGHTERS ( an appropriate annotation whereby said runway lights will be covered with dark glass to save light) That said, darkness IS the absence of light anyway). We won't use runway light bulbs manufactured in Manchester as I've heard that they're not to bright. DEAR A.F. Your Heraldic description for BURBO'S coat-of-arms sounds great. However, as I have lived in the colonies for all these years, perhaps you had better translate it all into SCOUSE as over 'ere, we don't comprehend POSHSPEAK. Furthermore, I'm not sure that the Heraldic masters in London will get the bit about a Bavarian Slice Rampant on said coat of arms.
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , The Colonies, Fri Oct 4 15:36:33 2002
Republic of Burbo? When did all this happen? Has Her Majesty Jools I, (and her succession of infantjools), abdicated? Have I missed out on a palace revolution, a Brooke conspiracy, a Caracas clattering of kitchen utensils? As for the flag, again I suggest: "Sanguine, on a Fess dancettee Azure, between in chief a Bavarian slice, triple towered and Tenne, upon Sand proper issuant from the Fess; and in base a three masted Lymphad of the second, sails furled and flagged of England, (viz gules a saltire argent), with Burbo turbo affrontee Purpure and bladed Or, twixt two pyramids of the last with Fish on Wavyline and Martlet on Nebulyline". Once upon a time this was O.K. with the Foreign Minister..... before he fell under the influence of Bolivarian republicanism!
AF <cantabfellow@therange.com>
Sustaining Member, 1986, RNC 9445784, Fri Oct 4 05:13:59 2002
Dear Frank, I am with all the way except for speaking French, 'separating' and inviting any EIIR or similar. First: the French bit. We all have English as first language, ironically today, a species of lingua franca already; second, I thought that, as the Republic, we are already separate and third, if we are to be gentry-free, than to invite a quintessential gentry supporter and queenible in her capacity as an EIIR at the outset to attend on the launch of and wellwish our firmly republican nascent state is somehow incongruent. Now, if they want to come like everyone else, as Phil and Betty, fair enough, no problem.

Moreover, I think we ought to move ahead in inches rather than great strides. We should be able to low-key it for a while so as to reduce expenditure to a mininum so, army navy and air force could be left until a later page. The main income would be turbo rents or swish tax: as the blades turn, they 'swish': we charge 0.0005 Euro's per swish. I don't quite get the concept of a (coherent) non-denominational currency but, from a fiscal standpoint, it seems to me that, should it prevail, most visitors will be arriving by preference on night flights, when the airport is saving on electric light and less frequented. Exciting stuff when you think on.

I would also outpoint that the discussion of an anthem does not of itself exclude other discussable itemry. Being nascent and all that, the whole caboodle is still up for delineation, including the bailiwick of the office of Mayor and other functionorial stuff, not excluding the Foreign Sec spot, presently occupied with a good lookin' chap but a bit far away. Yes, I realise that, on a global channel linked by the internet, the 'far away' term, indeed, the concept itself can be deemed questionable. But it's my knock-off time so, as was said by some daily scribbler before, to bed.

....& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., Vendles, Fri Oct 4 03:28:13 2002


J.J..............We will also require a flag, a coat of arms, an army, navy and air force and do we declare ourselves to be a republic? I think that our honourable mayor should invite H.M. EIIR to participate in whatever ceremonies are decided upon........And should the invitation go unanswered then our only recourse will be to separate and speak French. ..Further, visas will have to be applied for by any tourists or visitors to BURBO. As regards currency, we will be non-denominational in this regard and in view of our tax-haven status, just bring whatever you've got-but no British money because the name of the coinage is inappropriate. It's windy best of times out there on BURBO so it's not wise to have P's in the wind.
cfjm3@hotmail.com in Toronto <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Fri Oct 4 02:38:28 2002
I know we've had something similar in a slightly different context but I think it is about time that TCC'ers started finalising a basic Burbo Republic anthem reflecting our globally unified diversity; turbo-charged tranquility; openness to canine membership applications; epic historic cultural contributions; solid, tradition-bolstering confectionery and groundbreaking whatever. My trial balloonkite for the tunible would be Carl Teike's 'Old Comrades' march but I am open to anyone else's opinion. Like maybe 'Johnny Tod', The Z-Cars theme?

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., Vendles, Thu Oct 3 21:59:01 2002


Top joke in Germany

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.”
BinggKrozbi <laugh@all.net>
NordRhein WestKrozbi, .., .., Thu Oct 3 14:32:16 2002


If you attended Waterloo County Secondary School ,left in 1964, ane were in the same class as, Linda Hannaway, Lillian Sorrell, Susan Chorley, Vera Jones , Barry Doolan, Ray Reardon, Stan Wadkin , Cliff Burns, Keith Rudhall and others. We are planning a class reunion probably for March 2003. If you did, and you are interested please get intouch Margaret McCann (nee Burns)
Margaret McCann <fred@mccann2808.fsnet.co.uk>
Birkdale, Southport, UK, Tue Oct 1 14:20:35 2002
Any one out there who attended Waterloo County Secondary School, and left in 1964, who remember, Linda Hannaway, Barry Doolan, Tommy Baker, Ray Reardon, Susan Chorley, Stan Wadkin, Cliff Burns, Lillian Sorrell, Vera Jones and many more, we are planning a reunion probably for March 2003. If you did, and are interested, please get in touch with me. Margaret McCann (nee Burns)
Margaret McCann <fred@mccann2808.fsnet.co.uk>
Southport, , UK, Tue Oct 1 14:11:28 2002
PtII: And so to the trails in the sky. Dear Trailscan, I looked at the sites you mention and found some stuff easily explained away* and other stuff undoubdtedly disconcerting but unfortunately inmixed with much that falls far short of my standards of impartiality or credibilty. It is a shame that your skytrails matter with much that may well be worthy of vigourous investigation is so tainted by abuttal, 'juxto-tainted' as it were. If, in seeking some relief and balance, you also take a shufti at the German, Colombian and Ecuadorean sites associated with the Canadian one, you may be forgiven for developing a case of flagging belief in the human race at all at all. Much is outright unsubstantiated vituperation, sour grapes and seemingly congenital bitterness. Holy lord, matey! I must say that, here in Caracas, I have noticed that all the opposition to our government tend to be of good cheer, in the face of street quelling by teargas, in fine fettle spiritually and generally optimistic, while all the supporters of the government give the impression of having to be dipped in bitterness both in person and, when on telly, just before coming on camera. Where is all this unadulterated bile coming from? How can anyone live anything resembling a life, much less take decisions, if they get up every day seeking out who's to be today's target of their venom, a venom, in the event, very rarely backed with any checkable facts. No-one denies massive injustice over the centuries, in the name of, by, against, for, religion, colour, geographical provenance - the 'dirty Sassenach' syndrome - and a slew of other factors seen as making some diffuse 'them' different from and lesser than 'us'. Can these things be set straight and, if so, how? One thing that can be said is that, however vexed that question may appear, one answer is certainly not, wreaking (our version of) unbridled vengeance on today's perception of 'the enemy'.

... & God bless

* When I was sitting in on weather briefings years ago, the met officer would tell of today's 'contrail levels', being, for instance, from 25 to 27, so approximately from 25,000 to 27,000 feet: This meant that as our then front line Hunters would come tooling down through that band, the pilot could, that day, expect his position to be given away at that moment. The effect is as a turning on, or off, as the contrail-favouring circumstances are entered or left behind. I can imagine that most traffic over Liverpool, namely, flights descending into Manchester or on their climbout, would be going through those sorts of altitudes, more or less as they cross our coastline. Just a thought anyway.

Ciaou!
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Mon Sep 30 22:23:16 2002


Let me say this about that: I don't know exactly what wheelie bins are, more than what can be gleaned from the prior post, but I would say, wheelie-bin vexéd lads, count your luckies and count 'em good. Both P.A and I are located, quite voluntarily, in parts of the world where we would love to be politically, socially and economically configured such as to be to be worrying about wheelie bins. Our concerns border on the price and availabilty of flak jackets, the chances of getting to there from here without being acosted by gents of varying and often indeterminate political stripe, with affinity for small arms and their use for impressing the dire nature of their immediate circumstances on passers-by, invariably categorized, especially if wearing a tie, of being purveyors of poisonous diatribes, lies about all and sundry and a whole slew of other stuff. Without going further in medias res, I can only say that there is much to be said about a place whose weather may be less than ideal but where folk can validly focus on the wheelie-bin question. Indeed, I would go further and exhort folk to exercise the essence of their own democracy by energetically taking part in the whole trash disposal survey process. Democracy spurned on questions seemingly relatively inconsequential soon ceases to be democracy at all.

Now, I feel there is bone picking scheduled for the 'Burbo Ruling Gentry' phrase. I accepted the Burbo Foreign Affairs Portfolio on the understanding that we have a 'Republic of Burbo' all nascent and new. Just as once before when a dominant Burbo religion was bruited about, so also in this case too I would energetically reject any breath of a 'ruling gentry', ungentry or indeed, any ruling caste/elite/cronies per se. I see Burbo, surely susceptible to all the ills that flesh is heir to, as something of a model of what can be done if founding principles, admittedly but latent in the word 'republic' but as yet unspelled out, are maintained as our guiding guide, as it were. 'No to ruling gentry then' would be my reaction there altogether. If, on the other hand, someone figures there are unsaid things to be said about that, then I am willing to upgive the Foreign Affairs portfolio but not before the next Ministerial Complimentary Bavslice Conference. I shall campaign thereafter for the position of "member of Burbo's Latin American desk".

End of PtI.
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Mon Sep 30 22:15:35 2002


Well,fancy that JJ, and we were reliably informed/masterfully misled, gullible expats that we are, they were spraying the Andes only to erradicate the coca crop and the poppy fields. Amazing new insights into the real world! Only on the Crosby Channel!
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Mon Sep 30 14:36:34 2002
Dear JJ, Re: Global warming and chemtrails.........check out: This new Leyland, Lancs website has masses of worrying photos updated daily: http://biochem.yoll.net/ Plus this Canadian site has the most worrying info: http://hamilton.indymedia.org:8081/front.php3?article_id=1793 2000 websites in the US especially www.chemtrailcentrail.com are convinced that USAF planes are spraying aluminium powder based on Ed Teller’s (H Bomb inventor) 1997 thesis to deflect the suns rays and reduce global warming, and barium for 3d radar imaging purposes.
Trailscan <trailscan@aol.com>
Liverpool, Liverpool, UK, Mon Sep 30 09:37:11 2002
Seeing Red: before Saturday, BURP (The Burbo Rubbish Panel) was forwarding a motion that Michael Owen actually collect our rubbish but, obviously, that motion has now been put on the back burner. As regards Burbo Turbos, yes, more of those and less threatening war planes frightening Bonnie the Dog, please. Wheelie Bins? I'll call another meeting of BURP.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Mayor, Burbo Bank, , Mon Sep 30 07:43:02 2002
Thousands of people on Merseyside are to be asked for their views on wheelie bins. No doubt TCC contributors, given their proven expertise on the great matters of rubbish and other nonsense, will be at the epicentre of this major public consultation about bin services. There are apparently four options: Option A - The use of a wheelie bin which would be collected from a specific point. Option B - The use of a wheelie bin for storage only with black bags continuing to be used for the collection of rubbish. Option C - The use of a Euro bin in which black bin bags are placed. Option D - Continue with the black bin bag collection. Council executives for the environment say this is an opportunity for people to have their say and all responses will be considered on an area by area basis and acted upon accordingly. The average household apparently needs only 1 wheelie bin,instead of around 3 old fashioned dustbins. Since they are easier to manoeuvre there is less chance of straining your back on bin day. They are cleaner, safer and more hygenic, especially around children and animals. Because of their lockable flip lids, they can't be lost, or stolen. They are frost, heat and chemical resistant, and can last a lifetime. Perhaps Burbo's ruling gentry can give some guidance on how we are to respond if asked. Meanwhile it's good to see Michael Owen focussed once again but the team.... well, they're still not good enough just yet, are they?
Seeing Red <annefield@lobbyist.com>
, , , Mon Sep 30 02:21:16 2002
Dear Trailscan, indeed: who wants to trust the government after the dreadful treatment of the common man from their Australian bomb tests to mad cow and beyond. One gets the idea that those guys feel they simply don't belong to the 'community at large' but are somehow insulated from life on planet earth. Who couldn't trundle on with stories of dread and horror at the hands of Brit officialdom at home and abroad and, having seen a general or two on Telly, as chosen spokesmen no less, of the warrior caste and their civilian cohorts, the MOD its very self, who could fail to feel queasy about them too? (Nowt new really: look how they treated their own soldiers in WWI, after which, incidentally, the German High Command was asked about their enemies; the Brits, their report said, had been, "Lions, led by donkeys". No wonder Gen. Haig was chosen to write the official history!) That said, I have a hard time figuring why the ill-named 'windfarm' can do anything to upper air circulation. After all, windfarms 'reap what they do not sow', bleeding from the wind energy already there. They don't create great whirling airstreams or whatever. I mean, how can they? Moreover, as I understand it, they are medieval technology - windmills - updated. Over the years, if windmills caused problems, would we not have spotted it by now? I understand that Holland has substantial windfarm input and, of all people, the Dutch must be pretty cool windmill guys. No: I am afraid I concur re trusting the official, oft southern, powers that be who would mess with all and sundry, compunction free, were it conceivably to the advantage of one or other of their be-knighted crew but I can't see your argument about trails in the sky being affected by windmills, actuated as they are by the very windman hissel' at altitudes not exceeding a few metres. And besides, what trails are those? CO2 absorption? RAF and USAF? Secret stuff to reduce global warming over the UK, our very own little bittle? How can you have global warming over one bit? Blimey? I mean, Blimey! I am sympathetic to your mood, T, old chap/lass but cannot feel but that somebody's trying to put one over on somebody elsible.

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, ,, Vendles, Mon Sep 30 00:23:25 2002


Dear T.W.B.T..... My dress has no sense at all.
John Hodge <>
, , , Sun Sep 29 20:53:30 2002
MOD are using excuse of low flying planes and radar interference to counter the building of windfarms around the UK, at sea AND on land. End result: we only have around 10% of the windfarm electricity production other EEC countries have. So why? If defence was the real reason Germany, France etc would be the same. Maybe the MOD does not want windfarms interfering with the directional flow of aluminium and barium chemtrails being sprayed by RAF and USAF plane across the UK to absorb CO2 from motorway traffic and reflect sunlight to reduce global warming across the UK especially the M6/M5 south through LANCS/CHESHIRE/WORCESTERSHIRE........
TRAILSCAN <Trailscan@aol.com>
Liverpool, Liverpool, UK, Sun Sep 29 18:51:58 2002
what a weird place nothing of interest here j how's your dress sense these days bet its stil the same
that would be tellin <genso1suikoden@aol.co.uk>
, , outer space, Sun Sep 29 13:38:39 2002
Frank: My comments about "Road" were supposed to be directed at those who are, shall we say, a little more locally based, it left my brain in that form, but reached my slow-typing fingers not quite as I intended! All those interested who can get there should! In the meantime, Frank, look forward to seeing you next year!
John Hodge <>
, York, , Sat Sep 28 08:49:56 2002
Looking forward to it Frank. Brooke III will be on 28th June 2003, but Brooke III and a half can be on any day you wish. I'll warn Satterthwaites.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
, , , Sat Sep 28 08:05:10 2002
John H., Thanks for the tip off about the play. However, my next trip over will be this time next year in order to celebrate my 65th. I was born in Waterloo in one of the houses on Marine Terrace. I plan to hold a big bash and to round up all my friends from days gone by. Unfortunately, a few of my childhood pals are now six feet under. Perhaps Andy, our worshipful Mayor, will delay next years Brooke re-union in favour of a dinner and drinks on me like I say, around this time next year. I have already chosen the location and, should it be necessary, will arrange some sort of transportation for those who will take full advantage of the free drinks. Don't worry Andy, the local brewery will be forewarned. And John, some of the delicacies on the menu will include traditional Crosby fare-be it beans-on-toast, chip butties, scouse, in addition to the house menu. For dessert however, definitely Satterthwaites bavarian cream slices, my sister's trifle followed by the piece-de-resistance...your mum's rice pudding and other goodies....Please give her a year's notice.
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Sat Sep 28 02:32:52 2002
Library... see, I can spell it.
J.H. <>
, , , Fri Sep 27 22:31:29 2002
Erm..... Isn't a film lirary a little too organised for anarchists ?????
John Hodge (who knows about these things) <>
, York (yet still), , Fri Sep 27 22:28:39 2002
Tired are you, lass? It's after half past nine. Way past a little girl's bedtime!
Alphonse. The Alphonse <alp@hatamari.com>
crosby, ,, ,, Fri Sep 27 21:37:31 2002
Yawn...
Bonnie the Dog <>
, , , Fri Sep 27 20:31:29 2002
Wow - I'd forgotten all about the sunflowers an Dr Zivago - where they really there or were they a figment of my omagination ( very fertile it is too!) Thanks for reminding me....de de de derr de de de de de deerrr....
Babs <somewhere@mylove.com>
Southport, , , Fri Sep 27 20:22:51 2002
For a more balanced equanimitous channel, I am taking applications and submissions for Non-Zionist Plots, Non-Anarchist-Or-Zionist Plots and Non-Other-Than Plots. For the sake of secrecy and melodramatic tone, all really secret Plots should be marked 'unmarked' and come labeled as garden seeds for (locally blooming, please, except sunflowers with Zhivago overtones) flowers. In the prevailing ambiance, I recommend plots, plans, embryonic globalisation disquiet and suchlike be couched in Code 43A, being the 'home cuisine and Mum's goodies' encryption one sent to members in anticipation two weeks ago. You can spot it right away if look in the key where A4-çz grenades are 'Goosegogs'.

Disguise is of the essence so true anarchist members are urged to look non-Descript and wear forgettable glasses, such as the metal-rimmed 'Strelnikov' model, on sale at all good anarchist film library outlets. Moreover, regardless of how awkward or out-of-character members may feel, they should try to act like persons when in public or Plotting with Colleagues (especially One-Eyed Helga, played by Kristin Scott Thomas with a dirty hankey)

Eat this posting before or after committing it to the trashcan, wastebasket, pubelle, rubbish bin, Abfalleimer, or basurero, depending on the location of your current railway-station waiting room.


Gavril on Principle <shootferst@any1.edu>
SaraCrosby, <, FineGround, Fri Sep 27 16:45:12 2002


Frank, Yep me mum's rice puds are second to none, tho' there hasn't been a bread pudding on the table for some time, I'll make tentative and discreet enquiries on my next visit. In addition, her fruitcake and Melting Moments could conquer the world. On a totally different matter: I saw a superb production of Jim Cartwright's play "Road" at the Theatre Royal here in York, still an incredibly powerful and prescient piece of theatre 15 years after it first saw the light of day, the climax is just stunning. It's going to be at the Lowry from 15th-19th Oct if you could get over there, you will not be disappointed.
John Hodge <>
, York (for a few more days yet), , Fri Sep 27 08:48:05 2002
J H in York. Mums cooking, especially desserts, always come first -so yer on, mate. Ask yer mam if she can also do rice puddins. Bread puddings too as these are a true Crosby delicacy. Sadly, like knitting, this craft is a dying art. I've got me sister to do the trifles because she finds then a good place to dispose of her hubby's excess supply of rum. You'll be laid out flat after your first helping. And to you FARMERS up there in FORMBY, make sure that you FEED your JERSEY COWS the best grass possible so that they will produce the best cream for our soon-to-be FAMOUS line of desserts. The word D E S S E R T S when spelled backwards reads S T R E S S E D.
Frank in Toronto <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Do-nut capital of the Universe, is actually HAMILTON, Ontario, , Fri Sep 27 01:26:25 2002
Hey you guys! I am sick of reading that everything is a Zionist Plot. You have no consideration for ordinary people on this channel! How do think we anarchists feel? Eh? Did you even think about our sentimental affinity for plots? NoDammit I very betcha shirtails! Well, not ALL plots are Zionist yer know but, to counter you guys going around saying everything is a Zionist undertaking, we are going to declare it secret that our plots are plots at all thereby effectively doubling the number of Anarchist Plots, leaving the Zionists at the starting gate! Stick that in your suburban bourgois pipes and smoke away, my friends!...... rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb,.....


Gavrilo on Principle <shoot ferst@any1.edu>
SaraCrosby, ´´´´, HigLowAnyGround, Thu Sep 26 20:01:33 2002


Sorry Bill, misunderstood there, I've now woken up and re-read your comments properly, I wholeheartedly agree with everything you say. But if I may be permitted one quote: "How do we know Iraq have weapons of mass destruction? We just looked at the receipt!" - The late great Bill Hicks.
J.H. <>
, York, , Thu Sep 26 16:53:44 2002
Hi Bill, no cut and paste goin' on here, honest guv, all me own blatherings and I know not of the website you refer to. I'm in York visiting friends and just generally muckin' abaht. Good to hear from you. Love,
John "Neckchop" Hodge <>
, York, , Thu Sep 26 16:44:20 2002
ah wonta know if we 'ave no bav slices left, can we give 'im two neck chops instead?
wonderin' mostly <comagen@pardon.com>
crosby, <, middel ground, Thu Sep 26 15:23:04 2002
Nice point about "not in my name" John. You missed one thing though. To accuse others of lack of original thought when your own contribution consists of cutting and pasting from someone else's web site, to flood TCC is so hilarious he deserves a Bav Slice (rapidly followed by a neck chop)

Why are you in York?
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
, Amsterdam, , Thu Sep 26 14:51:38 2002


Frank in Toronto & Mr Mayor, The franchise is a wonderful idea, can I recommend my mum's date and walnut loaf as product? Helen and Tom Archer are always looking for outlets for their Borsetshire Blue Cheese and Pork Sausages respectively. Tum-ti-tum-ti-tum-ti-ti (Archer's theme!)
J.H. <>
, York, , Thu Sep 26 08:52:23 2002
Dear Not In My Name, There are several things I could say in response to your self-importance, for instance: to call others spineless is a bit rich from someone cowering behind a non-de-plume, many of us use this message board as a a haven for a little light-hearted banter, I conduct most of my political discussions on a face-to-face basis, and they are not, generally, copied at length from other sources. Incidentally, to compre anyone with the genius of Stanley Unwin is a compliment indeed. Now sod off take your chip shop politics with you. love,
John Hodge <>
, York, , Thu Sep 26 08:45:21 2002
Is there a secret Venezuelan connection to the mouthwatering Bavarian Slice? Or is this yet another Zionist plot? Find out now, go to: http://www.satterth.co.uk/bavarian.html to find out.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Small is beautiful, , , Thu Sep 26 07:49:02 2002
Yer rite Andy, we do need cheeering up. After scrolling through those blasted war reports to find the legitimate messages, a brilliant idea occured to me. ie the penny dropped, the light went on. Before I apply for my BURBO citizenship papers, I will negotiate a TIM HORTONS franchise for BURBO. Nana Barb will like tha idea...and what a tourist attraction! You bet that our do-nuts will give Satterwaites and their bavarian slices a run for their money!
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, Toronto, , Thu Sep 26 04:51:50 2002
AND MILLIONS WILL DIE...
Just go back to your Unwin-ese dribblings, you small-town ostriches!!! If you had a single original thought between you, it would die of loneliness!!! To call you spineless cattle would be unfair to your bovine brethren...

Name:Not in my name <>
, , Country: The High Ground, Thu Sep 26 00:49:14 2002
That's more like it! "Now whinneying at the starting gate, BavSlice, the favourite, backed, ahem, by much of the younger generation and, undisemboldened, Curd Tart, ridden by a veteran of the Sweet Dough Stakes: Final bets please before the off. ..... Oh, That's it! They are away, straight into Satties Corner now, both going strong and steady...... Who will it be?"

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <<, Vendles, Wed Sep 25 20:05:33 2002


It would seem that few if any of you out there know that Satties did in fact do a Yorkshire Curd tart way back in the 1930's. I think it safe to say it preceeded the Bav. slice by quite a number of years. It was my favourite confection, and to this day I cannot understand why it was discontinued.
Uncle Frank <>
Crosby, , , Wed Sep 25 19:47:10 2002
Good idea, John. But methinks a Curd Tart is just asking for a Spoonerism to be applied.
Andy Melia <>
Satterthwaites-on-Sea, , , Wed Sep 25 18:11:18 2002
j.j.- I'll tell you why he (presumably)doesn't sign his name, people who don't have confidence in their own opinions (or anyone else's that they choose to plagiarise)seldom do. Mr Mayor, still no Satties to sustain the good people of York ,they have something called A Curd Tart, however, Thomas' still do a blindin' pork and apple roll. Perhaps a case could be made for an air drop of Bavvies from the Mayoral microlite?
John Hodge (Cultural Ambassador - People's Republic of Brighton-le-Sands, York. <>
, , , Wed Sep 25 16:07:49 2002
So how just did these angry Americans come across The Crosby Channel, or is it all just a Zionist plot?
Andy Melia <>
The Bank, , , Wed Sep 25 15:37:03 2002
Dear Sir or Madam Not In MY Name, If you claim to be orating from the 'High Ground', your chosen sign-off, a lofty and melodramatic, 'Not In My Name', is peculiarly oxymoronic inasfar as, for this channel's readers, you opt to have no name for it not to be in. Apart from the incongruency, how come you remain unwilling to set aside your anonymity? From the dubious podium of anonymity, any charlie - or charlotte - can claim the high ground. And, by the way, typically, those actually occupying the high ground shun claims of occupying it at all at all.

If you wish to make a difference, you ought too to tighten up your argument, distance it from what comes over as ritually self-righteous and jingoistic Yank-bashing and rid it, among other things, of animals such as 'credible pretexts' --Yer wha'?

To the NittyGritty: I shall be among the first in line for those BavSlices. In fact, since I will have to catch a plane back to Caracas immediately after the final slurp, I am generating a case for foiling white feather ladies by being way out at the front. Maybe I could wangle an extra one for the journey, to be solemnly and respectfully partaken of just as the aircraft is banking, Liverpool-managed turbines awhine, to set course in its initial climb to cruise altitude for the transatlantic leg, over The Great Burbo Bank.

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <<, Vendles, Wed Sep 25 15:26:30 2002


Oh my goodness,is he still churning out all that stuff?( which I hasten to add, I do not bother reading) If all the people who come in here,do the same thing.....he is wasting his precious time,and wearing his fingers out ,for nowt.If I want to read something like that.I will join a library....... Can't someone pull the plug on his computer or something? Does anyone actually READ his ramblings? What planet is he from?
Babs <babs@crosby4ever.co>
Crosby, Liverpool, UK, Wed Sep 25 13:07:40 2002
If the production of weapons of mass destruction is the criteria to affix the terrorist label, then clearly George W. Bush presides over the biggest terrorist enterprise now or at any time in world history.

The U.S. has the largest nuclear arsenal--more than 6,000 nuclear missiles and bombs. It has spent trillion on nuclear weapons since 1945. When it had a monopoly on these weapons it did not hesitate to use them against civilian centers--up to 200,000 civilians were instantly incinerated in Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945.

Bush is spending hundreds of billions on militarizing outer space. The recently-released Pentagon military doctrine includes a declaration of its right to first use of nuclear weapons against Iraq, north Korea, Iran, China and Russia. The U.S. has Trident submarines and U.S. aircraft carriers carrying nuclear weapons 24 hours a day as the imperial fleet roams the seven seas.

The U.S. government used chemical weapons in Vietnam, spraying Agent Orange over vast parts of that country. Thousands of U.S. GIs and an unknown number of Vietnamese people died, or live difficult and painful lives from the after-effects.

Today, the U.S. government manufactures chemical and biological weapons, a fact that was routinely denied and only admitted after the anthrax attacks of 2001.

And the U.S. government--led by both Democrats and Republicans--has knowingly and deliberately killed more than 1 million Iraqi civilians through the quieter, less dramatic weapon known as economic sanctions. This weapon that has killed 5,000 children every month for 12 years must be regarded as a weapon of mass destruction.

It's time for anti-war activists to begin going to U.S. military bases and demanding to see if they have weapons of mass destruction on their premises, including chemical, biological and nuclear weapons, and depleted uranium...


Name:Not in my name <>
, , Country: The High Ground, Wed Sep 25 12:51:44 2002


The tasks facing the new international anti-war movement developing a popular and effective answer to the White House propaganda machine. Bush and the Pentagon are working non-stop to demonize the victims of their planned attack, while creating a credible pretext for war.

Working people in the United States, and especially the youth, must be able to learn the real causes for the coming conflict and learn how to respond to the Pentagon's lies. Otherwise people will be susceptible to the pro-war hype and frenzy that are being cynically generated to prepare public opinion for war.

The main argument used by the White House to scare up support for an invasion is that "Saddam Hussein must be prevented from acquiring or developing chemical, biological or nuclear weapons--a.k.a. weapons of mass destruction."

The White House has focused on this bogus argument because it has no other. Every effort was made to connect Iraq to the Sept. 11 attack and later to the anthrax attacks in the autumn of 2001.

But there was no evidence of a connection, so Bush simply broadened the scope of the "war on terrorism" by proclaiming that Iraq, Iran, north Korea and other "evil" countries would be considered terrorist and subject to preemptive military attacks.

What made them terrorists? Bush said they were "trying to acquire weapons of mass destruction."

Iraq certainly did possess and use chemical weapons in the 1980s. Both Iraq and Iran used such weapons against each other in that brutal and reactionary war. But these weapons were not "frightening" to the U.S. at the time of their use.

Donald Rumsfeld, the current secretary of defense, was meeting in Baghdad with Saddam Hussein and other Iraqi leaders in December 1983 and March 1984, and improving U.S.-Iraqi relations on behalf of the Reagan administration when the allegations concerning chemical weapons surfaced. But this was when the U.S. was encouraging Iraq's war effort as part of a strategy to weaken and exhaust the Iranian Revolution.

During the 1991 Gulf War, Iraq did not use chemical or non-conventional weapons, but the U.S. DID. It dropped tons of depleted uranium weapons all over Iraq....
Name:Not in my name <>
, , Country: The High Ground, Wed Sep 25 12:49:32 2002


I think some TCC people need cheering up. Bavarian Slices all round!
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
No regime change on Burbo, pal, , , Wed Sep 25 07:39:57 2002
As I was saying JJ, Right on about the Imperialist Brits being the cause of most of the world problems. The problems in Northern Ireland for example. Foisting Protestantism on a peaceful Catholic country. Who the H**l do those people in Belfast think they are using our flag (meaning the Union Jack) to stir things up with the Catholics. A more appropriate flag for them to march behind would be the Nazi Swastika. As for Israel and Palestine, again it's the outside forces that are the cause of it all. And again, thanks to the Brits and now the Yanks. Now to skip a few years the other way, the Brits arrived in Canada to find the French. A scrap ensued and the Brits won. However, for once, they did the sensible thing. After winning the battle for Canada, they actually shook hands and told their adversary that they were welcome to STAY. Hence QUEBEC which is the French part of Canada. Admittedly those with French blood have had a go at taking over but to no avail. We expect that of the French who inherently want to have it all their way. Now skip a generation or two, or at least since I came here. We are now a land of mosques, temples, turbans, heavily armed Jamacian thugs. Help! I am now a member of a minority group. Ah, that idyllic island in the sun. It's golden sands are beckoning. I plan to get away from it all soon. Stop the world I want to get off. I want to emigrate to BURBO. If I don't die from having a bomb dropped on my head, perhaps all that pollution coming in from China or the industrial states of the USA might do the trick. Bury me on BURBO anyway....
cfjm3@hotmail.com <ffrank>
Toronto, , , Wed Sep 25 02:20:21 2002
LEMMINGS!!! JUST FOR A MINUTE TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THE ZIONIST-CONTROLLED PROPAGANDA MACHINES THAT OCCUPY YOUR LIVING-ROOMS AND USE THAT VESTIGIAL ORGAN - YOUR MINDS..

In 1990 at least four war games directed at Iraq, some premised on an Iraqi invasion of Kuwait, were conducted before the invasion occurred. One of the flrst, a computer exercise called Internal Look, was held in January, and by June, Schwarzkopf was conducting sophisticated war games pitting thousands of U.S. troops against armored divisions of the Republican Guard.

In May 1990 the Center for Strategic and International Studies (CSIS), a Washington-based think tank, had completed a study begun two years earlier predicting the outcome of a war between the United States and Iraq. This study, according to the CSIS's Major James Blackwell (Retired), was widely circulated among Pentagon officials, members of Congress, and military contractors. Thus, far from being a surprise, Iraq's invasion of Kuwait had actually been the scenario for intense U.S. planning.

One would think from all this planning that Iraq posed a grave threat. But Iraq was struggling to recover from eight years of war. Following the ceaseflre with Iran, Saddam Hussein announced a 0 billion plan to peacefully rebuild his country. According to "Iraqi Power and U.S. Security in the Middle East," a study issued in early 1990 by the Strategic Studies Institute of the U.S. Army War College:

"Baghdad should not be expected to deliberately provoke military confrontations with anyone. Its interests are best served now and in the immediate future by peace.... Revenues from oil sales could put it in the front ranks of nations economically. A stable Middle East is conducive to selling oil disruption has a long-range adverse effect on the oil market which would hurt Iraq.... Force is only likely if the Iraqis feel seriously threatened. It is our belief that Iraq is basically committed to a nonaggressive strategy, and that it will, over the course of the next few years, considerably reduce the size of its military. Economic conditions practically mandate such action.... There seems no doubt that Iraq would like to demobilize now that the war has ended."

It was not Iraq but powerful forces in the United States that wanted a new war in the Middle East: the Pentagon, to maintain its tremendous budget; the military-industrial complex, with its dependence on Middle East arms sales and domestic military contracts; the oil companies, which wanted more control over the price of crude oil and greater profits; and the Bush administration, which saw in the Soviet Union's disintegration its chance to establish a permanent military presence in the Middle East, securing the region and achieving vast geopolitical power into the next century through control of its oil resources. The Pentagon's challenge was to figure out what would force Iraq, a country more interested in rebuilding than expansion, to take some action that would justify U.S. military intervention. In order to create such a crisis, the Pentagon invoked its special relationship with the Kuwaiti royal family....

from "The Fire This Time" by Ramsey Clark, [LBJ's Attorney General]
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Wed Sep 25 02:00:38 2002


CHILDREN OF THE NEW ORDER!!! OPEN YOUR EYES!!!

In May 1990 the National Security Council presented a white paper to President Bush(pere) describing Iraq and Saddam Hussein as "the optimum contenders to replace the Warsaw Pact" as the rationale for continued Cold War-level military spending.... [John Pilger, quoted by Ramsey Clark, LBJ's Attorney General]
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Wed Sep 25 01:47:36 2002


Right on, JJ.
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Wed Sep 25 01:45:40 2002
I'm 100% in favour of going to war alongside President Stumblebum for the stated aims of regime change; enforcement of UN resolutions; elimination of weapons of mass destruction; overthrow of tyranny, etc. PROVIDED that 5 seconds after Saddam is smoked WE DO THE SAME TO ISRAEL!!!!! who is the cause of all this s**t in the first place.....

Then we can go to war against Pakistan, India, North Korea, and if we get that far then Russia and China will surely be a pushover....
Dupes of the Zionists, (as per usual) <>
, , , Wed Sep 25 00:56:47 2002


An American poet said: "To sin by silence when we should protest makes cowards out of men...."
Name:Not in my name <>
, , Country: The High Ground, Wed Sep 25 00:24:53 2002
Dear Madman, Nobody denies that the UN sanctions on Iraq, just like sanctions throughout history, are anything better than a blunt instrument. Nobody denies that the sanctions have signally failed to achieve their purpose. That is not the whole story though, is it? The funds available to the Iraqi authorities aren't being directed towards the needs of the people and, as usual, the children get the sticky end of it. That is a crime in which the sanctioneers will bear some responsibility, along with the authorities themselves for their throughly indictable cruelty. As for the piece from Mr. Margolis: Gee Whiz! Can you not do better than that? I would question where he got his info from, after all, what is 'an important food storhouse'? Have you ever heard of such a thing in, say, Crosby? Paris? Podunk? And 13 schools? Come off it Margolis! And Madman: Just to show a little of Eric's rational impartiality, I quote from his piece, "BAGHDAD POKER Copyright: Eric S. Margolis, 2002 Sept. 20, 2002"

"Britain- This week, Foreign Secretary Jack Straw accused the Iraqis of being `duplicitous.' That's a five dollar word that means two-faced. Talk about the kettle calling the pot black. The British invented duplicity. In fact, double-dealing British imperialists created many of the world's chronic problems. Thank the Brits for Palestine and Israel; Belfast; India, Pakistan, and Kashmir; Iraq; and the mess in Africa. London is determined to grab a share of Iraq's oil once Saddam is overthrown. That's why Tony Blair, known far and wide as `Bush's poodle,' is barking so loudly."

While some may feel that Tony has earned the sobriquet, the whole idea that a claimed, albeit quite specious, British copyright on duplicity disqualifies modern day Brits from criticising it in third parties is a non-sequitur of the crassest. Madman, old chap, given there are many serious flaws in UN Iraq policy and American foreign policy, can you not do better than this Margulis charlie? Come now!

As for Martin Luther King's comment about the US as the biggest purveyor of violence: is this news? After all, the US is the biggest purveyor of most things, regardless of any particular moral backdrop one or other of us would perceive on a case by case basis. The US is economically the biggest everything. That's not their fault: they have a huge, open society and are a country run, or professedly run, on a series of principles that aren't 'American' either but lifted from classical deistic ideas and certain perceptions of freedom and people, none perfect but always in lively public discussion and open to improvement.

If you want to be anti-American, read the US newspapers. There are few rationally anti-American writers, as opposed to certain irrational hacks abroad, than the ones criticising the Bush régime from the podia offered by The New York Times and other papers. You may compare that to the availbility of anti-regime vehicles available to Saddam opponents in Iraq.

In other words, Madman, my good fellow, if you want to knock the Yanks, do a proper job instead of resorting to jingoistic tripe. And now that I mention it, TCC has plenty of room for (light-hearted) tripe and, as Babs has outpointed, it even has a sort of cyber-tradition along those lines: Forsake Margulis! Feel the Freedom! Ah! Sniff that breeze! And is there honey still for tea?

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Tue Sep 24 15:42:05 2002


To those who are concerned about IRAQ. You probably know that there are many Iraqi exiles now living in the UK. Here in Canada, we have a huge number. In interviewing many of these Iraqis who have made Canada their home I have learned that the majority would return to their homeland soon after Saddam and his gang of thugs has been extinguished. Iraq is a beautiful country. It is a land with great wealth potential with talented educated people. After all, this area is the cradle of civilization.
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, Toronto,Canada, , Tue Sep 24 04:12:07 2002
"More than 4,500 Iraqi children under the age of 5 are dying each month from hunger and disease." -UNICEF, October 1996.

"This week, we also learned from UN sources in Iraq that the recent `precision' bombing of defenseless Iraq destroyed at least thirteen schools, an important food storehouse, and the municipal water system of Baghdad's Karrada suburb, leaving 300,000 people without clean drinking water. During the 1991 Gulf War, US bombing wrecked Baghdad's water and sewage systems, creating a grave health crisis for millions of Iraqi civilians." --Eric Margolis in his column It's Time to Put Away the Big Stick 1999

"More than one million Iraqis have died- 567,000 of them children -as a direct consequence of economic sanctions... As many as 12% of the children surveyed in Baghdad are wasted, 28% stunted and 29% underweight." --UN FAO, December 1995.

The crimes against Iraqi civilians are committed in full day-light, with the blessing of the ruling "civilized nations" and with the tacit support of the educated classes in these nations. Those who keep silent and are legally able to speak up, are morally accomplices to this crime." -- Elias Davidsson, Musician and a Palestinian Jew

"the greatest purveyor of violence on earth is my own country." --Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
A. Madman <thewhitehouse@amerika.gov>
Washington, , , Tue Sep 24 02:02:07 2002


Dear j.j. & p.a. Madmen don't need a reason, love,
Johnny The Fox <>
, , , Mon Sep 23 23:52:36 2002
Dear George's Dragon, I am with P.A. on this so good on yer but still wonder what Buck's purpose has been?

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <<, Vendles, Mon Sep 23 21:07:41 2002


George's Dragon: the cruel kindness with which you gave us the good news is much appreciated: the bad news, only two parts to go, could have been worse!
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Mon Sep 23 20:21:01 2002
Hi to everyone - love the site apart from the T**D. Fortunately/Unfortunately I will have to be the bearer of good and bad news. The good news is that I have found the site where the t**d is getting him bulls**t from and he's nearly finished copying from Part One. YIPPEE I hear you say - unfortunately no - there's another two parts for him to copy!! http://mysite.users2.50megs.com/research/iron1.html here's the site, so you know to stay away from it! Funnily enough it's called David Icke's Telling the Truth Archives - believe me - you don't want to go there, please remove from your favourites immediately!! Yep I agree - it started off as a lighthearted let's get together and reminisce(??) site - could we have some more of that please.
The George's Dragon <>
Crosby, Liverpool, , Mon Sep 23 11:34:07 2002
Hello Home Town Folks just wondering if any of you are regulars at the Enbutt Lane pub ??? if yes does the name Mike McCann ring a bell? Please reply many Thanks
Joanne <c-g-wheaton@shaw.ca>
, , Canada, Mon Sep 23 05:53:04 2002
The foregoing functions of war are essential to the survival of the social systems we know today. With two possible exceptions they are also essential to any kind of stable social organization that might survive in a warless world. Discussion of the ways and means of transition to such a world are meaningless unless a) substitute institutions can be devised to fill these functions, or b) it can reasonably be hypothecated that the loss or partial loss of any one function need not destroy the viability of future societies.

Such substitute institutions and hypotheses must meet varying criteria. In general, they must be technically feasible, politically acceptable, and potentially credible to the members of the societies that adopt them. Specifically, they must be characterized as follows:

1. Economic. An acceptable economic surrogate for the war system will require the expenditure of resources for completely nonproductive purposes at a level comparable to that of the military expenditures otherwise demanded by the size and complexity of each society. Such a substitute system of apparent "waste" must be of a nature that will permit it to remain independent of the normal supply-demand economy; it must be subject to arbitrary political control.

2. Political. A viable political substitute for war must posit a generalized external menace to each society of a nature and degree sufficient to require the organization and acceptance of political authority.

3. Sociological. First, in the permanent absence of war, new institutions must be developed that will effectively control the socially destructive segments of societies. Second, for purposes of adapting the physical and psychological dynamics of human behavior to the needs of social organization, a credible substitute for war must generate an omnipresent and readily understood fear of personal destruction. This fear must be of a nature and degree sufficient to ensure adherence to societal values to the full extent that they are acknowledged to transcend the value of an individual human life.

4. Ecological. A substitute for war in its function as the uniquely human system of population control must ensure the survival, if not necessarily the improvement, of the species, in terms of its relation to environmental supply.

5. Cultural and Scientific. A surrogate for the function of war as the determinant of cultural values must establish a basis of sociomoral conflict of equally compelling force and scope. A substitute motivational basis for the quest for scientific knowledge must be similarly informed by a comparable sense of internal necessity.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Mon Sep 23 00:21:00 2002


Hammer was more of an Occi-whatever, was he not?
Dennie the Doorknob <asb before>
Etc, and, so forth, Sun Sep 22 22:06:34 2002
Armand Hammer, one time friend of Buck T., champion of the "harmonious discord"; many times correspondent for the Reds at the White House, and architect of Nixonian ethics, "the only way to build the future is on lies", was also an OXYMORON " whose honour", like Lancelot's, "rooted in dishonour stood."
Avon <memoirs@fullcircle.com>
, , , Sun Sep 22 17:44:08 2002
War is not, as is widely assumed, primarily an instrument of policy utilized by nations to extend or defend their expressed political values or their economic interests. On the contrary, it is itself the principal basis of organization on which all modern societies are constructed. The common proximate cause of war is the apparent interference of one nation with the aspirations of another. But at the root of all ostensible differences of national interest lie the dynamic requirements of the war system itself for periodic armed conflict. Readiness for war characterizes contemporary social systems more broadly than their economic and political structures, which it subsumes.

Economic analyses of the anticipated problems of transition to peace have not recognized the broad preeminence of war in the definition of social systems. The same is true, with rare and only partial exceptions, of model disarmament "scenarios." For this reason, the value of this previous work is limited to the mechanical aspects of transition. Certain features of these models may perhaps be applicable to a real situation of conversion to peace; this will depend on their compatibility with a substantive, rather than a procedural, peace plan. Such a plan can be developed only from the premise of full understanding of the nature of the war system it proposes to abolish, which in turn presupposes detailed comprehension of the functions the war system performs for society. It will require the construction of a detailed and feasible system of substitutes for those functions that are necessary to the stability and survival of human societies.


General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Sun Sep 22 15:42:05 2002


The visible, military function of war requires no elucidation; it is not only obvious but also irrelevant to a transition to the condition of peace, in which it will by definition be superfluous. It is also subsidiary in social significance to the implied, nonmilitary functions of war; those critical to transition can be summarized in five principal groupings.

1. Economic. War has provided both ancient and modern societies with a dependable system for stabilizing and controlling national economies. No alternate method of control has yet been tested in a complex modern economy that has shown itself remotely comparable in scope or effectiveness.

2. Political. The permanent possibility of war is the foundation for stable government; it supplies the basis for general acceptance of political authority. It has enabled societies to maintain necessary class distinctions, and it has ensured the subordination of the citizen to the state, by virtue of the residual war powers inherent in the concept of nationhood. No modern political ruling group has successfully controlled its constituency after failing to sustain the continuing credibility of an external threat of war.

3. Sociological. War, through the medium of military institutions, has uniquely served societies, throughout the course of known history, as an indispensable controller of dangerous social dissidence and destructive antisocial tendencies. As the most formidable of threats to life itself, and as the only one susceptible to mitigation by social organization alone, it has played another equally fundamental role: the war system has provided the machinery through which the motivational forces governing human behavior have been translated into binding social allegiance. It has thus ensured the degree of social cohesion necessary to the viability of nations. No other institution, or group of institutions, in modern societies, has successfully served these functions.

4. Ecological. War has been the principal evolutionary device for maintaining a satisfactory ecological balance between gross human population and supplies available for its survival. It is unique to the human species.

5. Cultural and Scientific. War-orientation has determined the basic standards of value in the creative arts, and has provided the fundamental motivational source of scientific and technological progress. The concepts that the arts express values independent of their own forms and that the successful pursuit of knowledge has intrinsic social value have long been accepted in modern societies; the development of the arts and sciences during this period has been corollary to the parallel development of weaponry.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Sun Sep 22 15:41:30 2002


Wasn't there a punk band called the oxymorons?
Phizynot <aph.uk@virgin.net>
Down South somewhere..., , , Sun Sep 22 14:09:27 2002
Hello-I'm 33 and went Crsoby Road North-does anyone remember meeeee!!!Daniel Cruickshnk, David Barrington,Catherine Picton-you know who you are-get in touch-or anyone else-I would love to gab(whilst I'm not changing one childs nappies and geting another ready for school!!
DAWN <d_dixon01@hotmail.com>
crosby, liverpool, uk, Sat Sep 21 23:06:24 2002
I would have been terribly pleased to give you some oxymorons, but as you must by now be vaguely aware, they've all been found missing.
Bonnie the Cat <>
, , , Sat Sep 21 22:49:53 2002
Dear J, Looks as though old Lance was a bit mixed up. 'Faith unfaithful kept him true'? Blimey! In those circs, even gettin' up in the morning must be fraught!

Any other good oxymorons?

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <, Vendles, Sat Sep 21 22:26:00 2002


....and by the way - where's her Maj Queen J these days, eh?
John Hodge (again) <>
, York (Still), , Sat Sep 21 17:14:57 2002
Dear j.j. Re oxymorons - there is of course the famous poem about Sir Lancelot (I think it comes from Tennyson's Lady of Shallot) " faith unfaithful kept him falsely true".May I humbly suggest - Peace keeping force!
John Hodge <>
York (temporarily), , , Sat Sep 21 17:12:57 2002
Indeed Senor Albion. However, I suspect that an unfortunate blast of Burbo offshore wind might stunt the growth of the palm trees somewhat.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
The Potting Shed, Burbo Gardens, , Sat Sep 21 08:21:24 2002
Congrats. to Southport and Churchtown for the palm trees on the promenade,the botanical gardens, and the impeccably kept herbaceous borders. The very best of Britain in bloom. Good news travels far and fast.
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Sat Sep 21 03:24:31 2002
The real question here, therefore, does not concern the viability of this war substitute, but the political problems involved in bringing it about. It cannot be established while the war system is still in effect. The reason for this is simple: excess population is war material. As long as any society must contemplate even a remote possibility of war, it must maintain a maximum supportable population, even when so doing critically aggravates an economic liability. This is paradoxical, in view of war's role in reducing excess population, but it is readily understood. War controls the general population level, but the ecological interest of any single society lies in maintaining its hegemony vis-a-vis other societies. The obvious analogy can be seen in any free-enterprise economy. Practices damaging to the society as a whole - both competitive and monopolistic - are abetted by the conflicting economic motives of individual capital interests. The obvious precedent can be found in the seemingly irrational political difficulties which have blocked universal adoption of simple birth-control methods. Nations desperately in need of increasing unfavorable production-consumption ratios are nevertheless unwilling to gamble their possible military requirements of twenty years hence for this purpose. Unilateral population control, as practiced in ancient Japan and in other isolated societies, is out of the question in today's world.

Since the eugenic solution cannot be achieved until the transition to the peace system takes place, why not wait? One must qualify the inclination to agree. As we noted earlier, a real possibility of an unprecedented global crisis of insufficiency exists today, which the war system may not be able to forestall. If this should come to pass before an agreed-upon transition to peace were completed, the result might be irrevocably disastrous. There is clearly no solution to this dilemma; it is a risk which must be taken. But it tends to support the view that if a decision is made to eliminate the war system, it were better done sooner than later.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Sat Sep 21 02:02:43 2002


Havent contributed for a while,decided to come in and see how things are.......read some postings,and decided that the long ones from T**d or whoever,not worth reading.What book is he taking the ramblings from? Lets get back to what the CC was started for.lighthearted chat from old Crosbians( and the not so old!) Claire,are you listening? take care all
Babs <babs@crosby4ever.co>
Crosby, Liverpool, UK, Sat Sep 21 01:24:34 2002
Havent contributed for a while,decided to come in and see how things are.......read some postings,and decided that the long ones from T**d or whoever,not worth reading.What book is he taking the ramblings from? Lets get back to what the CC was started for.lighthearted chat from old Crosbians( and the not so old!) Claire,are you listening? take care all
Babs <babs@crosby4ever.co>
Crosby, Liverpool, UK, Sat Sep 21 01:24:06 2002
Considering the the shortcomings of war as a mechanism of selective population control, it might appear that devising substitutes for this function should be comparatively simple. Schematically this so, but the problem of timing the transition to a new ecological balancing device makes the feasibility of substitution less certain.

It must be remembered that the limitation of war in this function is entirely eugenic. War has not been genetically progressive. But as a system of gross population control to preserve the species it cannot fairly be faulted. And, as has been pointed out, the nature of war is itself in transition. Current trends in warfare - the increased strategic bombing of civilians and the greater military importance now attached to the destruction of sources of supply (as opposed to purely "military" bases and personnel) - strongly suggest that a truly qualitative improvement is in the making. Assuming the war system is to continue, it is more than probable that the regressively selective quality of war will have been reversed, as its victims become more genetically representative of their societies.

There is no question but that a universal requirement that procreation be limited to the products of artificial insemination would provide a fully adequate substitute control for population levels. Such a reproductive system would, of course, have the added advantage of being susceptible of direct eugenic management. Its predictable further development - conception and embryonic growth taking place wholly under laboratory conditions - would extend these controls to their logical conclusion. The ecological function of war under these circumstances would not only be superseded but surpassed in effectiveness.

The indicated intermediate step - total control of conception with a variant of the ubiquitous "pill," via water supplies or certain essential foodstuffs, offset by a controlled "antidote" - is already under development. There would appear to be no foreseeable need to revert to any of the outmoded practices referred to in the previous section (infanticide, etc.) as there might have been if the possibility of transition to peace had arisen two generations ago.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Fri Sep 20 23:53:18 2002


To the turgid t**d. Please find another wall to write your graffiti on.
doggo <>
crosby, , , Fri Sep 20 19:40:56 2002
Carefull with the blood sports or games references Buck me hearty: you may be on the point of fathering a new one!
Dennie the Doorknocker <knockknock@who'sthere.org>
Weld on Alt, .., .., Fri Sep 20 15:56:27 2002
Games theorists have suggested, in other contexts, the development of "blood games" for the effective control of individual aggressive impulses. It is an ironic commentary on the current state of war and peace studies that it was left not to scientists but to the makers of a commercial film to develop a model for this notion, on the implausible level of popular melodrama, as a ritualized manhunt. More realistically, such a ritual might be socialized, in the manner of the Spanish Inquisition and the less formal witch trials of other periods, for purposes of "social purification," "state security," or other rationale both acceptable and credible to postwar societies. The feasibility of such an updated version of still another ancient institution, though doubtful, is considerably less fanciful than the wishful notion of many peace planners that a lasting condition of peace can be brought about without the most painstaking examination of every possible surrogate for the essential functions of war. What is involved here, in a sense, is the quest for William James's "moral equivalent of war."

It is also possible that the two functions considered under this heading may be jointly served, in the sense of establishing the antisocial, for whom a control institution is needed, as the "alternate enemy" needed to hold society together. The relentless and irreversible advance of unemployability at all levels of society, and the similar extension of generalized alienation from accepted values may make some such program necessary even as an adjunct to the war system. As before, we will not speculate on the specific forms this kind of program might take, except to note that there is again ample precedent, in the treatment meted out to disfavored, allegedly menacing, ethnic groups in certain societies during historical periods.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Fri Sep 20 12:44:48 2002


Sign of the times. ELECTRONIC GRAFITTI. Begger off you silly aerosol.
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, Toronto, , Fri Sep 20 04:55:20 2002
Dear Bonnie, Lass, It strikes me that the whole point is that he/she/it isn't a high ranking officer of the armed forces. The person who purports to represent a certain type of American officer can hardly fail to see that the direct result of all this tripe will be to provoke anti-American feeling. Inasmuch as there is no shortage of that commodity, owing largely to new production initiated by Georgie boy, why would anyone want to generate more? Only someone already rabidly anti-American and themselves probably not military since the doggedly unfolding drone, presented as being from a general, reflects so badly on them.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, ,,, .., Fri Sep 20 01:58:42 2002


Another possible surrogate for the control of potential enemies of society is the reintroduction, in some form consistent with modern technology and political processes, of slavery. Up to now, this has been suggested only in fiction, notably in the works of Wells, Huxley, Orwell, and others engaged in the imaginative anticipation of the sociology of the future. But the fantasies projected in Brave New World and 1984 have seemed less and less implausible over the years since their publication. The traditional association of slavery with ancient preindustrial cultures should not blind us to its adaptability to advanced forms of social organization, nor should its equally traditional incompatibility with Western moral and economic values. It is entirely possible that the development of a sophisticated form of slavery may be an absolute prerequisite for social control in a world at peace. As a practical matter, conversion of the code of military discipline to a euphemized form of enslavement would entail surprisingly little revision; the logical first step would be the adoption of some form of "universal" military service.

When it comes to postulating a credible substitute for war capable of directing human behavior patterns in behalf of social organization, few options suggest themselves. Like its political function, the motivational function of war requires the existence of a genuinely menacing social enemy. The principal difference is that for purposes of motivating basic allegiance, as distinct from accepting political authority, the "alternate enemy" must imply a more immediate, tangible, and directly felt threat of destruction. It must justify the need for taking and paying a "blood price" in wide areas of human concern.

In this respect, the possible substitute enemies noted earlier would be insufficient. One exception might be the environmental-pollution model, if the danger to society it posed was genuinely imminent. The fictive models would have to carry the weight of extraordinary conviction, underscored with a not inconsiderable actual sacrifice of life; the construction of an up-to-date mythological or religious structure for this purpose would present difficulties in our era, but must certainly be considered.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Thu Sep 19 23:41:53 2002


There's only one thing I know of that can soundly defeat the ravings of men of high rank in the armed forces: yes, fellow Crosby Channellers - I have hired: THE A-TEAM...
Bonnie the Cat <>
, , , Thu Sep 19 23:10:11 2002
Of the many sociological functions of war we have found convenient to group together, two are critical. In a world of peace, the continuing stability of society will require: 1) an effective substitute for military institutions that can neutralize destabilizing social elements and 2) a credible motivational surrogate for war that can insure social cohesiveness. The first is an essential element of social control; the second is the basic mechanism for adapting individual human drives to the needs of society.

Most proposals that address themselves, explicitly or otherwise, to the postwar problem of controlling the socially alienated turn to some variant of the Peace Corps or the so-called Job Corps for a solution. The socially disaffected, the economically unprepared, the psychologically unconformable, the hard-core "delinquents," the incorrigible "subversives," and the rest of the unemployable are seen as somehow transformed by the disciplines of a service modeled on military precedent into more or less dedicated social service workers. This presumption also informs the otherwise hardheaded ratiocination of the "Unarmed Forces" plan.

The problem has been addressed, in the language of popular sociology, by Secretary McNamara. "Even in our abundant societies, we have reason enough to worry over the tensions that coil and tighten among underprivileged young people, and finally flail out in delinquency and crime. What are we to expect ... where mounting frustrations are likely to fester into eruptions of violence and extremism?" In a seemingly unrelated passage, he continues:

"It seems to me that we could move toward remedying that inequity [of the Selective Service System] by asking every young person in the United States to give two years of service to his country - whether in one of the military services, in the Peace Corps, or in some other volunteer developmental work at home or abroad. We could encourage other countries to do the same."

Here, as elsewhere throughout this significant speech, Mr. McNamara has focused, indirectly but unmistakably, on one of the key issues bearing on a possible transition to peace, and has later indicated, also indirectly, a rough approach to its resolution, again phrased in the language of the current war system.


General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
T, , , Thu Sep 19 22:10:23 2002


Dear Mr. Mayor of Burbobank, What has become of this place? I stay away for a while and upon return find that we have moved on somewhat from the fantasies of school days to the boredom of the ravings of an utter twit. I would welcome the return of Mr. Crompton etc. and the normal banter of the channel. P.S. What happened to the suggestion of goint over to Amsterdam for the October re-union??
J G <>
Crosby, , , Thu Sep 19 20:33:23 2002
Dear Mr. Mayor of Burbobank, What has become of this place? I stay away for a while and upon return find that we have moved on somewhat from the fantasies of school days to the boredom of the ravings of an utter twit. I would welcome the return of Mr. Crompton etc. and the normal banter of the channel. P.S. What happened to the suggestion of goint over to Amsterdam for the October re-union??
J G <>
Crosby, , , Thu Sep 19 20:32:51 2002
....and now to the 'oxymoron' so called, being the term to denote a phrase made up of mutually exclusive words such as 'jumbo shrimp', for instance. My favourite, though, is 'military intelligence',....

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Thu Sep 19 19:31:12 2002


Credibility, in fact, lies at the heart of the problem of developing a political substitute for war. This is where the space-race proposals, in many ways so well suited as economic substitutes for war, fall short. The most ambitious and unrealistic space project cannot of itself generate a believable external menace. It has been hotly argued that such a menace would offer the "last, best hope of peace," etc., by uniting mankind against the danger of destruction by "creatures" from other planets or from outer space. Experiments have been proposed to test the credibility of an out-of-our-world invasion threat; it is possible that a few of the more difficult-to-explain "flying saucer" incidents of recent years were in fact early experiments of this kind. If so, they could hardly have been judged encouraging. We anticipate no difficulties in making a "need" for a giant super space program credible for economic purposes, even were there not ample precedent; extending it, for political purposes, to features unfortunately associated with science fiction would obviously be a more dubious undertaking.

Nevertheless, an effective political substitute for war would require "alternate enemies," some of which might seem equally farfetched in the context of the current war system. It may be, for instance, that gross pollution of the environment can eventually replace the possibility of mass destruction by nuclear weapons as the principal apparent threat to the survival of the species. Poisoning of the air, and of the principal sources of food and water supply, is already well advanced, and at first glance would seem promising in this respect; it constitutes a threat that can be dealt with only through social organization and political power. But from present indications it will be a generation to a generation and a half before environmental pollution, however severe, will be sufficiently menacing, on a global scale, to offer a possible basis for a solution.

It is true that the rate of pollution could be increased selectively for this purpose; in fact, the mere modifying of existing programs for the deterrence of pollution could speed up the process enough to make the threat credible much sooner. But the pollution problem has been so widely publicized in recent years that it seems highly improbable that a program of deliberate environmental poisoning could be implemented in a politically acceptable manner.

However unlikely some of the possible alternate enemies we have mentioned may seem, we must emphasize that one must be found, of credible quality and magnitude, if a transition to peace is ever to come about without social disintegration. It is more probable, in our judgment, that such a threat will have to be invented, rather than developed from unknown conditions. For this reason, we believe further speculation about its putative nature ill-advised in this context. Since there is considerable doubt, in our minds, that any viable political surrogate can be devised, we are reluctant to compromise, by premature discussion, any possible option that may eventually lie open to our government.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Thu Sep 19 19:18:24 2002


I think it's time we passed the Buck.
Mayor (worshipful) <>
Burbo Bank, , , Thu Sep 19 18:57:16 2002
The war system makes the stable government of societies possible. It does this essentially by providing an external necessity for a society to accept political rule. In so doing, it establishes the basis for nationhood and the authority of government to control its constituents. What other institution or combination of programs might serve these functions in its place?

We have already pointed out that the end of war means the end of national sovereignty, and thus the end of nationhood as we know it today. But this does not necessarily mean the end of nations in the administrative sense, and internal political power will remain essential to a stable society. The emerging "nations" of the peace epoch must continue to draw political authority from some source.

A number of proposals have been made governing the relations between nations after total disarmament; all are basically juridical in nature. They contemplate institutions more or less like a World Court, or a United Nations, but vested with real authority. They may or may not serve their ostensible postmilitary purpose of settling international disputes, but we need not discuss that here. None would offer effective external pressure on a peace-world nation to organize itself politically.

It might be argued that a well-armed international police force, operating under the authority of such a supranational "court," could well serve the function of external enemy. This, however, would constitute a military operation, like the inspection schemes mentioned, and, like them, would be inconsistent with the premise of an end to the war system. It is possible that a variant of the "Unarmed Forces" idea might be developed in such a way that its "constructive" (i.e., social welfare) activities could be combined with an economic "threat" of sufficient size and credibility to warrant political organization. Would this kind of threat also be contradictory to our central premise? - that is, would it be inevitably military? Not necessarily, in our view, but we are skeptical of its capacity to evoke credibility. Also, the obvious destabilizing effect of any global social welfare surrogate on politically necessary class relationships would create an entirely new set of transition problems at least equal in magnitude.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Thu Sep 19 18:46:37 2002


See - he's got me so bored I even got his rank wrong (try saying that when you've had a few!) - THE GENERAL NEEDS TO GET A LIFE!
The George's Dragon <>
Crosby, Liverpool, , Thu Sep 19 14:35:22 2002
I'd first like to say that I've only just found this site today and read all (yes, sad me) ALL of the articles - well, what else can you do when you're bored at work! I wholeheartedly agree with Honey the Dog, Bonnie the Dog, Bonnie the Cat and all the other likeminded persons and animals who contribute to this site - THE MAJOR NEEDS TO GET A LIFE! Surely there's a site out there where people actually want to read what he's reproducing - unfortunately I don't think this is the one.
The George's Dragon <>
Crosby, Liverpool, , Thu Sep 19 14:29:42 2002
We could either build a soapbox for this guy on BURBO bank call for the guys in white coats. What's he been smoking anyway?
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, By Lake Ontario, , Thu Sep 19 05:05:51 2002
By now it should be clear that the most detailed and comprehensive master plan for a transition to world peace will remain academic if it fails to deal forthrightly with the problem of the critical nonmilitary functions of war. The social needs they serve are essential; if the war system no longer exists to meet them, substitute institutions will have to be established for the purpose. These surrogates must be "realistic," which is to say of a scope and nature that can be conceived and implemented in the context of present-day social capabilities. This is not the truism it may appear to be; the requirements of radical social change often reveal the distinction between a most conservative projection and a wildly utopian scheme to be fine indeed.

In this section we will consider some possible substitutes for these functions. Only in rare instances have they been put forth for the purposes which concern us here, but we see no reason to limit ourselves to proposals that address themselves explicitly to the problem as we have outlined it. We will disregard the ostensible, or military, functions of war; it is a premise of this study that the transition to peace implies absolutely that they will no longer exist in any relevant sense. We will also disregard the noncritical functions exemplified at the end of the preceding section.

Economic surrogates for war must meet two principal criteria. They must be "wasteful," in the common sense of the word, and they must operate outside the normal supply-demand system. A corollary that should be obvious is that the magnitude of the waste must be sufficient to meet the needs of a particular society. An economy as advanced and complex as our own requires the planned average annual destruction of not less than 10 percent of gross national product if it is effectively to fulfill its stabilizing function. When the mass of a balance wheel is inadequate to the power it is intended to control, its effect can be self-defeating, as with a runaway locomotive. The analogy, though crude, is especially apt for the American economy, as our record of cyclical depressions shows. All have taken place during periods of grossly inadequate military spending.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Thu Sep 19 01:16:36 2002


Bonnie the Cat: For heaven's sake, don't encourage the person. You will make him/her feel bad. You will note that he has not yet said a word of his own. I think he can copy but not write by himself.
Dennie the Doorknocker <knockknock@who'sthere.org>
Weld on Alt, .., .., Wed Sep 18 15:50:53 2002
General. I'd wager nobody is even reading whatever it is you're writing. Your problem is thus: you're using the same format each time. We know it's you before we even start reading, and once we know it's you, we know not to bother to start reading. As we were taught at school when making notes from secondary documents and sources, why, General old chap, don't you try to "say it in your own words"? Condense it, shape it, make it suit your audience. You're not doing very well.
Bonnie the Cat <>
, , , Wed Sep 18 12:31:41 2002
I agree with Bonnie The Dog.
Honey The Dog <The kennel@home>
(Fave book Travels With Charlie by Steinbeck, , , Wed Sep 18 12:15:30 2002
We have elected to omit from our discussion of the nonmilitary functions of war those we do not consider critical to a transition program. This is not to say they are unimportant, however, but only that they appear to present no special problems for the organization of a peace-oriented social system. They the following:

War as a general social release. This is a psychosocial function, serving the same purpose for a society as do the holiday, the celebration, and the orgy for the individual - the release and redistribution of undifferentiated tensions. War provides for the periodic necessary readjustment of standards of social behavior (the "moral climate") and for the dissipation of general boredom, one of the most consistently undervalued and unrecognized of social phenomena.

War as a generational stabilizer. This psychological function, served by other behavior patterns in other animals, enables the physically deteriorating older generation to maintain its control of the younger, destroying it if necessary.

War as an ideological clarifier. The dualism that characterizes the traditional dialectic of all branches of philosophy and of stable political relationships stems from war as the prototype of conflict. Except for secondary considerations, there cannot be, to put it as simply as possible, more than two sides to a question because there cannot be more than two sides to a war.

War as the basis for international understanding. Before the development of modern communications, the strategic requirements of war provided the only substantial incentive for the enrichment of one national culture with the achievements of another. Although this is still the case in many international relationships, the function is obsolescent.

We have also foregone extended characterization of those functions we assume to be widely and explicitly recognized. An obvious example is the role of war as controller of the quality and degree of unemployment. This is more than an economic and political subfunction; its sociological, cultural, and ecological aspects are also important, although often teleonomic. But none affect the general problem of substitution. The same is true of certain other functions; those we have included are sufficient to the scope of the problem.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Wed Sep 18 12:01:29 2002


Animals are far more intelligent than 'humans'. Grrrr....
Bonnie the Dog <>
, , , Wed Sep 18 07:41:40 2002
Dear Hey you! .Nowt wrong with "Hey You". as after all, didn't the BEATLES make a fortune on "Hey Jude?" No, never played knock down Sally nor did I play knee knockers down the jowler. I was either too young or too naive for that. Now as for that General fellow, I'd be more than happy to pay for half of a one-way flight to any destination that he may wish to choose. Or perhaps invite him to test fly a MK-8 cruise missile or something.
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , Canada, Wed Sep 18 04:07:17 2002
Is this how he gets his jollies off or what?
ron fentlin <jumpersticker@wong.net>
Denver, ,,, ,,, Wed Sep 18 02:20:33 2002
TRY TO UNDERSTAND! LEMMING!!!!

In general, the war system provides the basic motivation for primary social organization. In so doing, it reflects on the societal level the incentives of individual human behavior. The most important of these, for social purposes, is the individual psychological rationale for allegiance to a society and its values. Allegiance requires a cause; a cause requires an enemy. This much is obvious; the critical point is that the enemy that defines the cause must seem genuinely formidable. Roughly speaking, the presumed power of the "enemy" sufficient to warrant an individual sense of allegiance to a society must be proportionate to the size and complexity of the society. Today, of course, that power must be one of unprecedented magnitude and frightfulness.

It follows, from the patterns of human behavior, that the credibility of a social "enemy" demands similarly a readiness of response in proportion to its menace. In a broad social context, "an eye for an eye" still characterizes the only acceptable attitude toward a presumed threat of aggression, despite contrary religious and moral precepts governing personal conduct. The remoteness of personal decision from social consequence in a modern society makes it easy for its members to maintain this attitude without being aware of it. A recent example is the war in Vietnam; a less recent one was the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. In each case, the extent and gratuitousness of the slaughter were abstracted into political formulae by most Americans, once the proposition that the victims were "enemies" was established. The war system makes such an abstracted response possible in nonmilitary contexts as well. A conventional example of this mechanism is the inability of most people to connect, let us say, the starvation of millions in India with their own past conscious political decision-making. Yet the sequential logic linking a decision to restrict grain production in America with an eventual famine in Asia is obvious, unambiguous, and unconcealed.

What gives the war system its preeminent role in social organization, as elsewhere, is its unmatched authority over life and death. It must be emphasized again that the war system is not a mere social extension of the presumed need for individual human violence, but itself in turn serves to rationalize most nonmilitary killing. It also provides the precedent for collective willingness of members of a society to pay a blood price for institutions far less central to social organization than war. To take a handy example, "... rather than accept speed limits of twenty miles an hour we prefer to let automobiles kill forty thousand people a year." A Rand analyst puts it in more general terms and less rhetorically: "I am sure that there is, in effect, a desirable level of automobile accidents - desirable, that is, from a broad point of view; in the sense that it is a necessary concomitant of things of greater value to society." The point may seem too obvious for iteration, but is essential to an understanding of the important motivational function of war as a model for collective sacrifice.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Wed Sep 18 00:13:31 2002


General - SHUT UP.
Bonnie Langford's Dog <>
, , , Tue Sep 17 23:54:43 2002
Nor can it be considered a coincidence that overt military activity, and thus the level of draft calls, tend to follow the major fluctuations in the unemployment rate in the lower age groups. This rate, in turn, is a time-tested herald of social discontent. It must be noted also that the armed forces in every civilization have provided the principal state-supported haven for what are now called the "unemployable." The typical European standing army (of fifty years ago) consisted of "... troops unfit for employment in commerce, industry, or agriculture, led by officers unfit to practice any legitimate profession or to conduct a business enterprise." This is still largely true, if less apparent. In a sense, this function of the military as the custodian of the economically or culturally deprived was the forerunner of most contemporary civilian social-welfare programs, from the W.P.A. to various forms of "socialized" medicine and social security. It is interesting that liberal sociologists currently proposing to use the Selective Service System as a medium of cultural upgrading of the poor consider this a novel application of military practice.

Although it cannot be said absolutely that such critical measures of social control as the draft require a military rationale, no modern society has yet been willing to risk experimentation with any other kind. Even during such periods of comparatively simple social crisis as the so-called Great Depression of the 1930s, it was deemed prudent by the government to invest minor make-work projects, like "Civilian" Conservation Corps, with a military character, and to place the more ambitious National Recovery Administration under the direction of a professional army officer at its inception. Today, at least one small Northern European country, plagued with uncontrollable unrest among its "alienated youth," is considering the expansion of its armed forces, despite the problem of making credible the expansion of a non-existent external threat.

Sporadic efforts have been made to promote general recognition of broad national values free of military connotation, but they have been ineffective. For example, to enlist public support of even such modest programs of social adjustment as "fighting inflation" or "maintaining physical fitness" it has been necessary for the government to utilize a patriotic (i.e., military) incentive. It sells "defense" bonds and it equates health with military preparedness. This is not surprising; since the concept of "nationhood" implies readiness for war, a "national" program must do likewise.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Tue Sep 17 22:29:38 2002


what a waste of space the Crosby Channel has become
Tony Hi <>
Crosby, , , Tue Sep 17 21:53:26 2002
Dearest BonnieLass, Don't take it to heart: I left the UK TV monoculture in 1963. According to my tropical Google, that was just one little year before you were born. That would place me BYB, beyond your bailiwick, and hence prone to attacks of UK TV ignorance. I mean, Len Fairclough was still a central figure when I took the Sylvania out of Liverpool to New York, on the rainy night of September, 3rd, 1963. I remember admiring how the tug guys managed to manoeuvre her out of the basin, at midnight with barely a foot to spare either side. Then, as the turbines rumbled us out toward the open sea, I watched as the various streets and marks of the Seaforth, Waterloo and Crosby fronts passed by: at one point, I got flustered because I couldn't recognise particular lights. I realised then that I was looking at channel bouys meaning that, like so many before, I was off going beyond the Liverpool Bar and finally underway. By this time, it was after one thirty and I went to my bunk, excited but not dry-eyed. But I digress.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Tue Sep 17 20:00:37 2002


JJ: I'm not surprised you've never heard of me... bloody dog...
Bonnie Langford <>
, , , Tue Sep 17 19:09:50 2002
Well, well! Who'd've known. Bonnie, lass, or Bonnie lass, I had no idea there was a you, nor indeed a Dr. Who. I shrink from asking, "Who he?" but gather it has something to do with television. Yes, indeed, I can see entirely how the dog-bird dichotomy arose. Clear as the nose, so to speak. So, dogBonnie is playing havoc with stage bookings. Can you imagine the trouble history teachers in Scotland have? Google does upturn some other Bonnies, including a very presentable astronautesse so I guess we just have to thank our luckies that Bonnie, the dog was Formby born and bred, or maybe, 'bred and born' would be better, otherwise, she'd have to get a NASA ID card for distinguishability purposes and to ensure that Bonnie Dunbar, PhD doesn't get a complimentary plate of Bow-Wow biccies next time out. None of this would have arisen had she been called Fidoa, or Jocelyn La Pomme de Mes Yeux II. Why can folk not onthink? I liked the joke about the power cut and the mechanical stairs..... Any more where that came from?

...... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Tue Sep 17 18:54:10 2002


I post as Bonnie Langford so as to be distinguished from Bonnie the Dog. The numerous bookings mix-ups were beginning to play havoc... why do you think you don't see me on TV any more?
Bonnie Langford <>
, , , Tue Sep 17 17:56:51 2002
The most obvious of the sociological functions is the time-honored use of military institutions to provide antisocial elements with an acceptable role in the social structure. The disintegrative, unstable social movements loosely described as "fascist" have traditionally taken root in societies that have lacked adequate military or paramilitary outlets to meet the needs of these elements. This function has been critical in periods of rapid change. The danger signals are easy to recognize, even though the stigmata bear different names at different times. The current euphemistic cliches - "juvenile delinquency" and "alienation" - have had their counterparts in every age. In earlier days these conditions were dealt with directly by the military without the complications of due process, usually through press gangs or outright enslavement. But it is not hard to visualize, for example, the degree of social disruption that might have taken place in the United States during the last two decades if the problem of the socially disaffected of the post-World War II period had not been foreseen and effectively met. The younger, and more dangerous, of these hostile social groupings have been kept under control by the Selective Service System.

This system and its analogues elsewhere furnish remarkably clear examples of disguised military utility. Informed persons in this country have never accepted the official rationale for a peacetime draft - military necessity, preparedness, etc. - as worthy of serious consideration. But what has gained credence among thoughtful men is the rarely voiced, less easily refuted, proposition that the institution of military service has a "patriotic" priority in our society that must be maintained for its own sake. Ironically, the simplistic official justification for selective service comes closer to the mark, once the nonmilitary functions of military institutions are understood. As a control device over the hostile, nihilistic, and potentially unsettling elements of a society in transition, the draft can again be defended, and quite convincingly, as a "military" necessity.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Tue Sep 17 17:49:22 2002


I have come to the conclusion that this endless war mentality rubbish is an effort to try and get some charlie finally to read it all finally after its surely having been smartly dumped in the waste basket - or trashcan - to the frustrated writer's ignominy.

Dear Frank, The form of words isn't important. Orally, I usually get "Hey ,you!" so any improvement is welcome. Shillings for the meter: that takes one back a bit, eh? Did you guys ever play 'Knock Down Sally', using twigs aginst a city street wall to be knocked down with marbles or pebbles?

Dear Bonnie, Do you post as 'the dog' to apprise us of your canine nature per se or to distinguish yourself from some third-party non-dog Bonnie, possibly known in the UK but certainly not here in Caracas? What other non-dog Bonnies are there apart from the Bedelia birdle? Do tell.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Tue Sep 17 17:19:30 2002


The second relevant factor is the efficiency of modern methods of mass destruction. Even if their use is not required to meet a world population crisis, they offer, perhaps paradoxically, the first opportunity in the history of man to halt the regressive genetic effects of natural selection by war. Nuclear weapons are indiscriminate. Their application would bring to an end the disproportionate destruction of the physically stronger members of the species (the "warriors") in periods of war. Whether this prospect of genetic gain would offset the unfavorable mutations anticipated from postnuclear radioactivity we have not yet determined. What gives the question a bearing on our study is the possibility that the determination may yet have to be made.

Another secondary ecological trend bearing on projected population growth is the regressive effect of certain medical advances. Pestilence, for example, is no longer an important factor in population control. The problem of increased life expectancy has been aggravated. These advances also pose a potentially more sinister problem, in that undesirable genetic traits that were formally self-liquidating are now medically maintained. Many diseases that were once fatal at preprocreational ages are now cured; the effect of this development is to perpetuate undesirable susceptibilities and mutations. It seems clear that a new quasi-eugenic function of war is now in process of formation that will have to be taken into account in any transition plan. For the time being, the Department of Defense appears to have recognized such factors, as has been demonstrated by the planning under way by the Rand Corporation to cope with the breakdown in the ecological balance anticipated after a thermonuclear war. The Department has also begun to stockpile birds, for example, against the expected proliferation of radiation-resistant insects, etc.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Tue Sep 17 11:47:12 2002


The regressive genetic effect of war has been often noted and equally often deplored, even when it confuses biological and cultural factors. The disproportionate loss of the biologically stronger remains inherent in traditional warfare. It serves to underscore the fact that survival of the species, rather than its improvement, is the fundamental purpose of natural selection, if it can be said to have a purpose, just as it is the basic premise of this study.

But as the polemologist Gaston Bouthoul has pointed out, other institutions that were developed to serve this ecological function have proved even less satisfactory. (They such established forms as these: infanticide, practiced chiefly in ancient and primitive societies; sexual mutilation; monasticism; forced emigration; extensive capital punishment, as in old China and eighteenth-century England; and other similar, usually localized, practices.)

Man's ability to increase his productivity of the essentials of physical life suggests that the need for protection against cyclical famine may be nearly obsolete. It has thus tended to reduce the apparent importance of the basic ecological function of war, which is generally disregarded by peace theorists. Two aspects of it remain especially relevant, however. The first is obvious: current rates of population growth, compounded by environmental threat of chemical and other contaminants, may well bring about a new crisis of insufficiency. If so, it is likely to be one of unprecedented global magnitude, not merely regional or temporary. Conventional methods of warfare would almost surely prove inadequate, in this event, to reduce the consuming population to a level consistent with survival of the species.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Tue Sep 17 11:41:59 2002


Brevity is next to godliness.
Bonnie the dog <>
, , , Tue Sep 17 07:59:10 2002
Dear j.j. (or do you prefer to be addressed as J.J. or a plain and simple quicker to type JJ ??) In the days prior to Lonnie Donegan and the emergence of skiffle groups. dockers played their games of pitch-and-toss for a shilling a go preferably out of the view of Liverpool's Constabulary. Oft tossing away their hard earned beer money or perhaps the shillings for the meter. The most popular locations as I recall were under the "DOCKERS UMBRELLA". Ah, those cool October nights when one would almost choke on the smog from coal fed fireplaces!!!!!!!
ffrank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Tue Sep 17 04:23:27 2002
poor sod
jim <jim34@yahoo.com>
bootle, .., GB, Tue Sep 17 02:13:53 2002
MUSHROOM-PEOPLE: TAKE NOTE!!!

Man, like all other animals, is subject to the continuing process of adapting to the limitations of his environment. But the principal mechanism he has utilized for this purpose is unique among living creatures. To forestall the inevitable historical cycles of inadequate food supply, post-Neolithic man destroys surplus members of his own species by organized warfare.

Ethologists have often observed that the organized slaughter of members of their own species is virtually unknown among other animals. Man's special propensity to kill his own kind (shared to a limited degree with rats) may be attributed to his inability to adapt anachronistic patterns of survival (like primitive hunting) to his development of "civilizations" in which these patterns cannot be effectively sublimated. It may be attributed to other causes that have been suggested, such as a maladapted "territorial instinct," etc. Nevertheless, it exists and its social expression in war constitutes a biological control of his relationship to his natural environment that is peculiar to man alone.

War has served to help assure the survival of the human species. But as an evolutionary device to improve it, war is almost unbelievably inefficient. With few exceptions, the selective processes of other living creatures promote both specific survival and genetic improvement. When a conventionally adaptive animal faces one of its periodic crises of insufficiency, it is the "inferior" members of the species that normally disappear. An animal's social response to such a crisis may take the form of a mass migration, during which the weak fall by the wayside. Or it may follow the dramatic and more efficient pattern of lemming societies, in which the weaker members voluntarily disperse, leaving available food supplies for the stronger. In either case, the strong survive and the weak fall. In human societies, those who fight and die in wars for survival are in general its biologically stronger members. This is natural selection in reverse.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Tue Sep 17 00:52:52 2002


You know, General Buckaroo, as a proper English lady, I wonder why such a brave man as you feels the need to hide in anonymity. Have you been so long down that mountain hole that, feeling an affinity for its final underground resting place, your mind died long ago and the rest of you just soldiers disjointedly on?
Fiona Farquarson <lady@themanse.edu>
Little Bentley, ...., .., Tue Sep 17 00:36:10 2002
I'm with you all the way, Fiona. dd
Duddly Doolittle <>
Little Hampton, , , Tue Sep 17 00:16:25 2002
The basic authority of a modern state over its people resides in its war powers. (There is, in fact, good reason to believe that codified law had its origins in the rules of conduct established by military victors for dealing with the defeated enemy, which were later adapted to apply to all subject populations.) On a day-to-day basis, it is represented by the institution of police, armed organizations charged expressly with dealing with "internal enemies" in a military manner. Like the conventional "external" military, the police are also substantially exempt from many civilian legal restraints on their social behavior. In some countries, the artificial distinction between police and other military forces does not exist. On the long-term basis, a government's emergency war powers - inherent in the structure of even the most libertarian of nations - the most significant aspect of the relation between state and citizen.

In advanced modern democratic societies, the war system has provided political leaders with another political-economic function of increasing importance: it has served as the last great safeguard against the elimination of necessary social classes. As economic productivity increases to a level further and further above that of minimum subsistence, it becomes more and more difficult for a society to maintain distribution patterns insuring the existence of "hewers of wood and drawers of water." The further progress of automation can be expected to differentiate still more sharply between "superior" workers and what Ricardo called "menials," while simultaneously aggravating the problem of maintaining an unskilled labor supply.

The arbitrary nature of war expenditures and of other military activities make them ideally suited to control these essential class relationships. Obviously, if the war system were to be discarded, new political machinery would be needed at once to serve this vital subfunction. Until it is developed, the continuance of the war system must be assured, if for no other reason, among others, than to preserve whatever quality and degree of poverty a society requires as an incentive, as well as to maintain the stability of its internal organization of power.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Mon Sep 16 23:38:42 2002


What dreadful language! No good reflection on your school or family Mr Turdgison. What would your mummy and daddy think?
Fiona Farquarson, Lady <lady@themanse.edu>
Little Bentley, .., .., Mon Sep 16 22:59:10 2002
MUSHROOMS, as you well know, are fed on S.H.I.T and KEPT in the DARK......

jess like you limey lemmings!!
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Mon Sep 16 22:50:27 2002


MUSHROOMS, as you well know, are fed on S.H.I.T and KEPT in the DARK......

jess like you limey lemmings!!
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Mon Sep 16 22:50:07 2002


i dunno wot youse doin but im listening to albinonis dubbl oboe and string conchertos. damsite better than todays 1966 vintige turdly ramblin on. lord luvva duk!
lurk notburk <metanoia4@yahoo.com>
manchester, ,,, ,,, Mon Sep 16 22:33:51 2002
Lemmings to mushrooms! Well, I guess the mush part isn't difficult to spot. But I am still on 'lemmings'; I don't want to move on until I get it right and see no justifiable reason for us to be stuck with any mushrooms, of which an enormous variety exist and go from delicious to lethally toxic, before that time. I mean, timing is important after all. Besides, they grow in the dark don't they? No sunshine there.
R&R <dustably@dawn.com>
Cleanmachine on Wye, ......, ..............., Mon Sep 16 22:11:02 2002
ATTENTION: MUSHROOMS OF AIRSTRIP ONE!!!

The political functions of war have been up to now even more critical to social stability. It is not surprising, nevertheless, that discussions of economic conversion for peace tend to fall silent on the matter of political implementation, and that disarmament scenarios, often sophisticated in their weighing of international political factors, tend to disregard the political functions of the war system within individual societies.

These functions are essentially organizational. First of all, the existence of a society as a political "nation" requires as part of its definition an attitude of relationship toward other "nations." This is what we usually call a foreign policy. But a nation's foreign policy can have no substance if it lacks the means of enforcing its attitude toward other nations. It can do this in a credible manner only if it implies the threat of maximum political organization for this purpose - which is to say that it is organized to some degree for war. War, then, as we have defined it to all national activities that recognize the possibility of armed conflict, is itself the defining element of any nation's existence vis-a-vis any other nation. Since it is historically axiomatic that the existence of any form of weaponry insures its use, we have used the word "peace" as virtually synonymous with disarmament. By the same token, "war" is virtually synonymous with nationhood. The elimination of war implies the inevitable elimination of national sovereignty and the traditional nation-state.

The war system not only has been essential to the existence of nations as independent political entities, but has been equally indispensable to their stable internal political structure. Without it, no government has ever been able to obtain acquiescence in its "legitimacy," or right to rule its society. The possibility of war provides the sense of external necessity without which no government can long remain in power. The historical record reveals one instance after another where the failure of a regime to maintain the credibility of a war threat led to its dissolution, by the forces of private interest, of reactions to social injustice, or of other disintegrative elements. The organization of a society for the possibility of war is its principal political stabilizer. It is ironic that this primary function of war has been generally recognized by historians only where it has been expressly acknowledged - in the pirate societies of the great conquerors.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Mon Sep 16 21:51:27 2002


have you heard the one about what happened when there was a power cut in Dublin? two hundred people were trapped in lifts. and two thousand more on escalators.
ahmed cohen <laughnow@yourperil.ire>
palfret major, -------, wessex, Mon Sep 16 21:35:44 2002
Great Scott, no nation is more warlike than one whose buck never stops anywhere and is always proclaiming its special relationship with and trust in God! Having seen the great Scott portray both that turgidson of a doe in Strangelove and that other son of a bitch, in the film of his namesake, I think I'll stick with "old Blood and Guts" and his stated preference for sloshing through the mud, in the field of action, rather than become indoctrinated by an old windbag and armed burocrat who can do no better than quote, reiterated suggestion after consecrated platitude, from a report prepared for yet another Texan.
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Mon Sep 16 21:23:03 2002
Negatively phrased public recognitions of the importance of war to the general economy abound. The most familiar example is the effect of the "peace threats" on the stock market, e.g., "Wall Street was shaken yesterday by news of an apparent peace feeler from North Vietnam, but swiftly recovered its composure after about an hour of sometimes indiscriminate selling." [Herald Tribune, 9th Feb 1966] Savings banks solicit deposits with similar cautionary slogans, e.g., "If peace breaks out, will you be ready for it?" A more subtle case in point was the recent refusal of the Department of Defense to permit the West German government to substitute nonmilitary goods for unwanted armaments in its purchase commitments from the United States; the decisive consideration was that the German purchases should not affect the general (nonmilitary) economy. Other incidental examples are to be found in the pressures brought to bear on the Department when it announces plans to close down an obsolete facility (as a "wasteful" form of "waste"), and in the usual coordination of stepped-up military activities (as in Vietnam in 1965) with dangerously rising unemployment rates.

Although we do not imply that a substitute for war in the economy cannot be devised, no combination of techniques for controlling employment, production, and consumption has yet been tested that can remotely compare to it in effectiveness. It is, and has been, the essential economic stabilizer of modern societies.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Mon Sep 16 20:07:42 2002


Dear TriStar, The chink in your chat is that phrase in the second para of your penultimate, namely, "in our view". The full caboodle comes over as established fact when it's a cultural conviction, no more. I see you choose a quote from the Secretary of the Army to bolster the case: what else would you expect from a Secretary of the Army? This culturally rooted stuff is a damned sight more difficult to overcome than simple error. And when does the the sterility factor come in? I mean, how much of this stuff could the poor incumbent pres-man read without throwing up or dropping off? When is somebody going to comment on the 'turgid' element and the Buckly monnicker choice? I suppose that, at this stage of the game in a forum of the stature of TCC, there's only place for erudite and complex error, given the depth, experience and insight of our global contributors from all over, as it were. I can only feel honoured to be let in the door. In that sense, though Buck, old Fellow(or Birdly, who knows?), you're in good company. I trust you feel at home. I would outpoint though that, by now, I am ready to listen to your views in other areas of the human condition, couched as you will, but to my preference, in terms at once iconoclastic and grave, irreverantly disposing of the brigade of charlies who take themselves so seriously as on occasion, to take themselves seriously. Can you imagine what it must be like to be married to one of those guys? Did anyone see the fillum Dr. Strangelove, btw?

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Mon Sep 16 19:43:20 2002


But even in the context of the general civilian economy war cannot be considered wholly "wasteful." Without a long-established war economy, and without its frequent eruption into large-scale shooting war, most of the major industrial advances known to history, beginning with the development of iron, could never have taken place. Weapons technology structures the economy. According to the writer cited above, "Nothing is more ironic or revealing about our society than the fact that hugely destructive war is a very progressive force in it. ... War production is progressive because it is production that would not otherwise have taken place. (It is not so widely appreciated, for example, that the civilian standard of living rose during World War II.)" This is not "ironic or revealing," but essentially a simple statement of fact.

It should also be noted that war production has a dependable stimulation effect outside itself. Far from constituting a "wasteful" drain on the economy, war spending, considered pragmatically, has been a consistently positive factor in the rise of gross national product and of individual productivity. A former Secretary of the Army has carefully phrased it for public consumption thus: "If there is, as I suspect there is, a direct relation between the stimulus of large defense spending and a substantially increased rate of growth of gross national product, it quite simply follows that defense spending per se might be countenanced on economic grounds alone [emphasis added] as a stimulator of the national metabolism." Actually, the fundamental nonmilitary utility of war in the economy is far more widely acknowledged than the scarcity of such affirmations as that quoted above would suggest.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Mon Sep 16 18:48:45 2002


What a glorious L.O.R. ditty! Captured the magic moment while I look for me pennies ter pay 'the man'; captured the magic moment when I look at all them ships what our lads go out in all over an' then come 'ome in; captured the magic moment when the train finally came in after a New Brighton baths day and now on the way back ter Waterloo! Ah! Captured the magic moment! If you have any more sleepless ones, call me: I shall be awake anyway yer flippin' nuisance!

.... God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Mon Sep 16 18:47:39 2002


This function is often viewed, oversimply, as a device for the control of surpluses. One writer on the subject puts it this way: "Why is war so wonderful? Because it creates artificial demand ... the only kind of artificial demand, moreover, that does not raise any political issues: war, and only war, solves the problem of inventory." The reference here is to shooting war, but it applies equally to the general war economy as well. "It is generally agreed," concludes, more cautiously, the report of a panel set up by the U.S. Arms Control and Disarmament Agency, "that the greatly expanded public sector since World War II, resulting from heavy defense expenditures, has provided additional protection against depressions, since this sector is not responsive to contraction in the private sector and has provided a sort of buffer or balance wheel in the economy."

The principal economic function of war, in our view, is that it provides just such a flywheel. It is not to be confused in function with the the various forms of fiscal control, none of which directly engages vast numbers of men and units of production. It is not to be confused with massive government expenditures in social welfare programs; once initiated, such programs normally become integral parts of the general economy and are no longer subject to arbitrary control.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Mon Sep 16 18:45:48 2002


The production of weapons of mass destruction has always been associated with economic "waste." The term is pejorative, since it implies a failure of function. But no human activity can properly be considered wasteful if it achieves its contextual objective. The phrase "wasteful but necessary," applied not only to war expenditures, but to most of the "unproductive" commercial activities of our society, is a contradiction in terms. "... The attacks that have since the time of Samuel's criticism of King Saul been leveled against military expenditures as waste may well have concealed or misunderstood the point that some kinds of waste may have a larger social utility."

In the case of military "waste," there is indeed a larger social utility. It derives from the fact that the "wastefulness" of war production is exercised entirely outside the framework of the economy of supply and demand. As such, it provides the only critically large segment of the total economy that is subject to complete and arbitrary central control. If modern industrial societies can be defined as those which have developed the capacity to produce more than is required for their economic survival (regardless of the equities of distribution of goods within them), military spending can be said to furnish the only balance wheel with sufficient inertia to stabilize the advance of their economies. The fact that war is "wasteful" is what enables it to serve this function. And the faster the economy advances, the heavier this balance wheel must be.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Mon Sep 16 18:42:27 2002


I'll speak up for the old Overhead Railway at Gladstone Dock. In fact, I'll SING up for it:

Leckie railway up so high

Over Liverpool streets

Leckie railway in the sky

That's crackin!

Leckie railway linked the docks

FOr the dockers and the flocks

Of mucky kids

When their mas'd sent 'em packin!

Refrain:

Dallying down the Dingle

On the good old L.O.R.

Whether married or you're single

Or you'd come from near or far

Whether you wanted sands at Seaforth

Or a ship at Prince's Dock

The Pier Head or the Gladstone

Or you'd got a ring to hock

Y'took the train that flew without wings

Not a bus or a bike or a car

And then you'd surely realise

The Dockers' Umbrella... is a star!

And it goes on. Written by a local writer and musician for a musical last year. Gave me sleepless nights that one. Although it had a good rhythm and nice melody...
The Dockers' Umbrella <>
, , , Mon Sep 16 17:18:31 2002


Dear Frank, I am afraid the message isn't clear. Let me first hasten to confirm that I am with you on the library, the secret underground and lots of niches and so forth version for me: coffee and a conspiratorial chat about non-present company tastes so much better in secret places.

Ol' General Turdgison, Class of 1959, East Point, touting specious argument, eruditely configured, would have us sign on for this 'War is the secret of a society's vitality, therefore, a warlike stance, confirmed with occasional sallies and raids plus a well defined 'Feindbild', is a sine qua non for any thriving society. By extension, its absence is the mark of a society in decadence and decline, a society at its most defeatable.' The argument presented, not for the first time, comes dressed in sheep's clothing, as part of a report on '... the feasibility and desirability of peace'. Blimey Days! It is excerpted, as it were, 'for war', though we get nowt of the report as a whole. Indeed, we are led to believe that this is it. There ain't no way nothin' else. In other words, we're given helf the story, guised as the whole story. Here we have a saying, 'No hay mentira mas grande que la media verdad', 'The biggest lie is the half truth'. Gee, Buck, old chap, if the thesis were irrevocably the case, then the most belligerant societies would be the most thrusting and advanced. The excerpts, presented as irrefutable fact, are actually an elaborate self fulfilling truth affair, generated because the writers are, probably unwittingly, culturally biassed and consequently, they lead themselves and others up a garden path entirely of their own fabrication, somehow justifying a war culture, which, we begin to suspect, was what they, being prisoners of their own cultural blinkerage, actually set out to do. The other detail of interest is that, if you accept the thesis put forward, you no longer have to think about owt. You can abdicate your responsibility for a series of things: with this absolutist conclusion, much of responsibility, moral, national, patriotic, personal etc is to all intents and purposes, resolved. Ah! Relief! On to less incommoding stuff then and blow all that about right and wrong and whether it's important. And, by the way, what was that sole untouchable tree in that garden affair? The knowledge of right and wrong or something wasn't it? Since Adam and Eve were upgrown at that point and acquiring the essence of our flwed humanity, I see no problem at all to reading this tree bit as "Mature people know the difference between right and wrong; those who don't are not mature".

Now, to the nittygrittiness: why all this exclusively Airstrip focussed attention? Who is going to put in a word for what came before and gave Airstrips time to arrive at all at all? Who is going to speak up for Railway Stations, e.g., á la Carnforth that gave us "Brief Encounter"; who is going to stand up for bus depots, á la Ribble in Crosby, engenderer of so much of the delightul early culture of what is finally emerging as one of the premier boroughs in the country, nay, the continent! Who is going to speak up for the Overhead Railway terminus at Gladstone Dock? Who remembers skiffle groups? Who remembers Lonny Donnegan? Who can tell Stork from Butter? These too are impactfully configured aspects of an imperfectly assembled Weltanschauung, dammitall and ought also to be adressed, 'To Occupier, or Other, as fitseen on the day or return unopened'. Or, as has been observed by the maturer youngsters, "'Tis a far happier state to see your garden through its flowers than its fallen leaves,...."

.... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Mon Sep 16 15:31:21 2002


The message is clear ( with all these Presidential reports). We shall have to build a library on the BURBO. However, you will have to wait whilst we debate the issue as to whether or not it should be built as a magnificent edifice or hidden underground with lots of secret rooms and passages, just like the Egyptians used to do.
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Mon Sep 16 01:51:19 2002
The relationship of war to scientific research and discovery is more explicit. War is the principal motivational force for the development of science at every level, from the abstractly conceptual to the narrowly technological. Modern society places a high value on "pure" science, but it is historically inescapable that all the significant discoveries that have been made about the natural world have been inspired by the real or imaginary military necessities of their epochs. The consequences of the discoveries have indeed gone far afield, but war has always provided the basic incentive.

Beginning with the development of iron and steel, and proceeding through the discoveries of the laws of motion and thermodynamics to the age of the atomic particle, the synthetic polymer, and the space capsule, no important scientific advance has not been at least indirectly initiated by an implicit requirement of weaponry. More prosaic examples the transistor radio (an outgrowth of military communications requirements), the assembly line (from Civil War firearms needs), the steel-frame building (from the steel battleship), the canal lock, and so on. A typical adaptation can be seen in a device as modest as the common lawnmower; it developed from the revolving scythe devised by Leonardo da Vinci to precede a horse-powered vehicle into enemy ranks.

The most direct relationship can be found in medical technology. The Vietnam war alone has led to spectacular improvements in amputation procedures, blood-handling techniques, and surgical logistics. It has stimulated new large-scale research on malaria and other tropical parasitic diseases; it is hard to estimate how long this work would otherwise have been delayed, despite its enormous nonmilitary importance to nearly half the world's population.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Mon Sep 16 00:26:19 2002


The declared order of values in modern societies gives a high place to the so-call "creative" activities, and an even higher one to those associated with the advance of scientific knowledge. Widely held social values can be translated into political equivalents, which in turn may bear on the nature of a transition to peace. The attitudes of those who hold these values must be taken into account in the planning of the transition. The dependence, therefore, of cultural and scientific achievement on the war system would be an important consideration in a transition plan even if such achievement had no inherently necessary social function.

Of all the countless dichotomies invented by scholars to account for the major differences in art styles and cycles, only one has been consistently unambiguous in its application to a variety of forms and cultures. However it may be verbalized, the basic distinction is this: Is the work war-oriented or is it not? Among primitive peoples, the war dance is the most important art form. Elsewhere, literature, music, painting, sculpture, and architecture that has won lasting acceptance has invariably dealt with a theme of war, expressly or implicitly, and has expressed the centricity of war to society. The war in question may be national conflict, as in Shakespeare's plays, Beethoven's music, or Goya's paintings, or it may be reflected in the form of religious, social, or moral struggle, as in the work of Dante, Rembrandt, and Bach. Art that cannot be classified as war-oriented is usually described as "sterile," "decadent," and so on. Application of the "war standard" to works of art may often leave room for debate in individual cases, but there is no question of its role as the fundamental determinant of cultural values. Aesthetic and moral standards have a common anthropological origin, in the exaltation of bravery, the willingness to kill and risk death in tribal warfare.

It is also instructive to note that the character of a society's culture has borne a close relationship to its war-making potential, in the context of its times. It is no accident that the current(1966) "cultural explosion" in the United States is taking place during an era marked by an unusually rapid advance in weaponry. This relationship is more generally recognized than the literature on the subject would suggest. For example, many artists and writers are now beginning to express concern over the limited creative options they envisage in the warless world they think, or hope, may be soon upon us. They are currently preparing for this possibility by unprecedented experimentation with meaningless forms; their interest in recent years has been increasingly engaged by the abstract pattern, the gratuitous emotion, the random happening, and the unrelated sequence.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Mon Sep 16 00:25:03 2002


There's only one Airstrip: The Great Burbo Bank. We see all. We know all. We are immortal. Hic!
Mayor (worshipful) <>
, , , Sat Sep 14 09:53:09 2002
10-4 Ivor. But as I write all the mob-mentality misfits are near rioting here over the visit of the former Prime Minister of Israel. It's as if both sides were cats and dogs in their previous incarnation.
Frank in Toronto <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , CCaaNNaaDDaa, Wed Sep 11 03:15:15 2002
PEOPLE OF AIRSTRIP-ONE!!!

The existence of an accepted external menace, then, is essential to social cohesiveness as well as to the acceptance of political authority. The menace must be believable, it must be of a magnitude consistent with the complexity of the society threatened, and it must appear, at least, to affect the entire society.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Wed Sep 11 00:44:24 2002


PEOPLE OF AIRSTRIP-ONE!!!

The existence of an accepted external menace, then, is essential to social cohesiveness as well as to the acceptance of political authority. The menace must be believable, it must be of a magnitude consistent with the complexity of the society threatened, and it must appear, at least, to affect the entire society.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Wed Sep 11 00:44:16 2002


LEMMINGS!!!

It must be emphasized that the precedence of a society's war-making potential over its other characteristics is not the result of the "threat" presumed to exist at any one time from other societies. This is the reverse of the basic situation; "threats" against the "national interest" are usually created or accelerated to meet the changing needs of the war system. Only in comparatively recent times has it been considered politically expedient to euphemize war budgets as "defense" requirements.

Wars are not "caused" by international conflicts of interest. Proper logical sequence would make it more often accurate to say that war-making societies require---and thus bring about---such conflicts. The capacity of a nation to make war expresses the greatest social power it can exercise; war-making, active or contemplated, is a matter of life and death on the greatest scale subject to social control. It should therefore hardly be surprising that the military institutions in each society claim its highest priorities.

A brief look at some defunct premodern societies is instructive. One of the most noteworthy features common to the larger, more complex, and more successful of ancient civilizations was their widespread use of the BLOOD SACRIFICE (qv Blair). If one were to limit consideration to those cultures whose regional hegemony was so complete that the prospect of "war" had become virtually inconceivable ---as was the case with several of the great pre-Columbian societies of the Western Hemisphere---it would be found that some form of ritual killing occupied a position of paramount social importance in each. Invariably, the ritual was invested with mythic or religious significance; as will all religious and totemic practice, however, the ritual masked a broader and more important social function.

In these societies, the blood sacrifice served the purpose of maintaining a vestigial "earnest" of the society's capability and willingness to make war-- i.e., kill and be killed---in the event that some mystical--i.e., unforeseen --circumstance were to give rise to the possibility. That the "earnest" was not an adequate substitute for genuine military organization when the unthinkable enemy, such as the Spanish conquistadores, actually appeared on the scene in no way negates the function of the ritual. It was primarily, if not exclusively, a symbolic reminder that war had once been the central organizing force of the society, and that this condition might recur.

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Wed Sep 11 00:39:06 2002


Frank of Toronto what a great post and what agreat country you live in
Ivor Million <streetwise@confidence.com>
crosby, , , Wed Sep 11 00:06:17 2002
PEOPLE OF AIRSTRIP THIRTEEN! Hi There! Resist being inveigled into secret goings on by the blandishments of single figure Airstrippers! What do they know?

JJ, you ought to know better! Too many secrets by far. Support the public's right to know! And the 'secret glance'! Secret glance! What in the name of heaven is a workable secret glance! Do you give out secret sidelong instructions for it then? You have it all bumovertit, friend.
Thirteen Is Lucky <13@yahoo.com>
Crosby, \#define _CGI_HTTP_REFERER http://www.merseyworld.com/crosby-channel/guestbookadd.htm, God's Own, Tue Sep 10 23:13:26 2002


PEOPLE OF AIRSTRIP THIRTEEN! Hi There! Resist being inveigled into secret goings on by the blandishments of single figure Airstrippers! What do they know?

JJ, you ought to know better! Too many secrets by far. Support the public's right to know! And the 'secret glance'! Secret glance! What in the name of heaven is a workable secret glance! Do you give out secret sidelong instructions for it then? You have it all bumovertit, friend.
Thirteen Is Lucky <13@yahoo.com>
Crosby, \#define _CGI_HTTP_REFERER http://www.merseyworld.com/crosby-channel/guestbookadd.htm, God's Own, Tue Sep 10 17:58:27 2002


PEOPLE OF AIRSTRIP TWO! Your fate is e'en yet not undecided! Have you been counted? If not, stand up and be counted now! No loss of sacred sovereignty for Burbo! By straightfacéd subtle use past sell-by deodorants, you too can repel boarders, lodgers, unwantabled guests and other suchlies! Thank your luckies that your Mayor's canny low-profile skills have kept you offa that list of presidents, starting with Johnson and stretching abroad to engulf the e'en TUC'ed Tony, of Cherie fame, e'en be-Crosbied as he is. The nu. Are we ready for the struggle? Are your BavSlice/FiveLamp cap badges ashine? The call has gone out and all true off-brown Burbonians hear its global echo resound! To the aft lads! United, we are unsliceable! The contaminant forces of offshoreables shall not prevail! A secret strategy session is proposed, at the end of the secret underground tunnel between A and B, where B is the Brooke. Inner Circle and Hot Committee members will identify one another by use of the secret glance and surrreptitiously carrying the secret bagpipes. The agenda will include any other business and suggestions for a secret whistle sequence for use at sea, as necessary.

Gooooing to it, by numbers: ----Go, 1!

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Tue Sep 10 14:13:19 2002


PEOPLE OF AIRSTRIP ONE!!

Your fate was decided decades ago!!

Do you think "leaders" like Bush or Blair would get anywhere near to the top if they weren't groomed by the "Power Elite" to follow instructions...

Remember JFK? he made the mistake of believing he actually WAS the President....and paid the appropriate price for his conceit.

Since then, our "leaders" have proved more amenable to the realities of power - i.e. they recognise they don't have any power... WE have the POWER!!!

It was laid out to Johnson in 1966, and to every subsequent president.

"Lasting peace, while not theoretically impossibe, is probably unattainable; even if it could be achieved it would most certainly not be in the best interests of a stable society to achieve it.

"War fills certain functions essential to the stability of our society; until other ways of filling them are developed, the war system must be maintained - and improved in effectiveness. Allegiance to the State requires a cause - and a cause requires an enemy.

"War has provided both ancient and modern societies with a dependable system for stabilizing and controlling national economies. No alternate method of control has yet been tested in a complex modern economy that has shown itself remotely comparable in scope or effectiveness.

"War itself is the basic social system. It is the system which has governed most human societies of record, as it does today. War-readiness is the dominant force. It accounts for approximately a tenth of the World's total economy.

"The organization of a society for the possibility of war is its principal political stabilizer. The basic authority of a modern state over its people resides in its war powers...."

from REPORT OF THE SPECIAL STUDY GROUP TO THE PRESIDENT ON THE FEASIBILITY AND DESIRABILITY OF PEACE(1966).
General*** Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Tue Sep 10 02:00:19 2002


Jesus, my swimming pool gag was from the 18th of April. How long does it take for you to get it?
The Ghost of Gordon Solie <>
, , , Mon Sep 9 23:41:13 2002
......takes all types.....
Conan <sharpedge@net.com>
Crosby, ,.,, Local, Mon Sep 9 21:46:54 2002
hi, im mr.gigglesworth and my associate law, we were wondering if you knew that if you were to cut open your lungs they wud streach over a full tennis cour and the normal fish has 5 fins 'dorsal, pelvic, ANAL, pectoral, and the tail'. in my view about the westing in the swimmingpool is that itll b a BOSS idea b'cos ive never seen n e 1 wrestle underwater and there b a lot of women in skimpy clothing *YAY* haha so bring on the wresting even tho its silly,,, an canada shud b blown up... like skegness.. and wales hahahahaa
mr.gigglesworth and law <giggle321@hotmail.com>
crosby, skegness, have a random guess, Mon Sep 9 20:35:42 2002
Dear Mikey, Shufti up the URL http://www.crosbycam.com/live_image.htm and there you are. O at least, occasionally, some guys you may know. Unfortunately, I have now seen the cam image showing rain, shine, rain/shine, cloudy, fairly cloudy, warmish(from folks' attire), nippy, Very cloudy, etc etc and still, the other cam is not yet live. I no longer access the camshot because I feel qualified extrapolate from sunny interval to occasional sunshine.

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkning, <<, Vendles, Mon Sep 9 14:58:53 2002


Saw that Crosbycam thing in the Crosby Herald???, whats it all about?
Mikey <mikettt@phoneafriend.co.uk>
liverpool, Liverpool, uk, Sun Sep 8 22:25:42 2002
LEMMINGS !!!

The Truth shall set you free!!

www.whatreallyhappened.com/stf1.html
Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Sat Sep 7 17:33:16 2002


Yes, they drink the town dry, Frank. Exactly why the hard up Southport pub landlords love it.
Spend yer money! <>
, , , Sat Sep 7 09:51:58 2002
Just checked the above link - some of the interesting stuff has slipped down the page and even into older archives ~ http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/olderarticles.html
Babs <>
Not moved Much, , , Sat Sep 7 09:29:03 2002
I really don't understand what all this is about ~ Religious fanaticism? Control of resources? I get even more confused when folk come up with conspiracy theories.What do folks think of some of these "conspiracy theories" re Sept 11th? See ~ http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/
Babs <>
Southport, , , Sat Sep 7 09:12:00 2002
As with Northern Ireland, they indoctrinate the young with backward religious ideas and ideals and that will never change. Temples, mosques, turbans,kirpans,guns,saris,Mecca,marching through Catholic areas to purposely aggravate, Allah, Greeks who still celebrate independence from the Turks and so on. All this backward nonsense from the past. Why don't we recognize the fact that we live in the year 2002 and that the world is round not flat. Now admittedly someone is going to get on their high horse over my comments but I don't care. I live in Toronto and we have every nationality under the sun here and so far so good. We all get along. The Orangemen still have their parade which in in celebration of something meaningless and obscure. But since the Orangemen have lost power and influence here and also because 99.9% of the population have no idea who orangemen are, no one goes to watch their silly parade anyway. It is still allowed in Liverpool I understand but really is it just another excuse to wreck busses and cause Southport to be evacuated for the day because the "Orangemen" are coming to drink the town dry...What primitive times we live in.. Saddam Insane and Ayatolla Kockemani.
Frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Sat Sep 7 03:46:28 2002
The forthcoming war is about four things.

i) protection of the Zionist Entity by its Client, USA.
ii) the understanding by the USA since at least 1945 that Peace in the World is undesirable and unfeasible from their point of view, and incompatible with US economic and political determinants.
iii) Oil
iv) the establishment of a New World Order.

Saddam is a living saint compared to the unbridled evil of the USA and its ZOG, (for the benefit of the lemmings, that's the Zionist Occupation Government)

Aproximately EIGHT MILLION PEOPLE have been murdered by the USA in its contrived and manufactured wars since 1945.

Wake Up!!!! and say NO to WAR...
Buck Turdgison <thecommandbunker@cheyennemountain.mil>
Town:CLASSIFIED, , , Sat Sep 7 00:43:44 2002


My dear Avon, have you not noticed how America's incoherent foreign policy has been mainly defined, since our departure, by evangelical notions of a struggle of biblical proportions between good and evil. All that this seems to have achieved over the years has been a rewriting of the past and the creating of new enemies out of friends that were once surrogates in battles, battles which should never have been fought in the first place. The Americans have some good qualities, so do we all, but they have been no saints in their short history, after all they have pillaged the very land they took by brute force from its original owners. Their human rights record since independence has been , and still is, quite apalling. This present day Bush administration is just a lot more of the same. Their Afghan nightmare is never ending and current allies, enemies of yesterday, will eventually become tomorrow's foes. This is as it has always been. Saddam's use of chemical weapons in his war against Iran was well known to American officials who then condoned his war crimes. Washington is now tormented at the thought of the monster it helped to create. Even though they have produced no convincing evidence that Baghdad has anything to do with the Al Qaeda network, Iraq is ripe for invasion to take a nation's mind, and perhaps the world's, off a failed economy that many of the President's business associates and cronies helped to create. Yes, the world is still a very complex place and it cannot be ordered merely by mouthing simple, biblical allegories about good and evil. Smiting one's enemies as we found out requires both patience and subtlety, as well as intelligence. The world's phobias and problems have never been resolved by a mixture of ignorance, misplaced pride and uncontrolled greed. Unfortunately these are some of the things the United States currently possesses in great abundance.
Stockton <never@ditsogood.com>
sameplace., , , Fri Sep 6 21:25:11 2002
Yes, John. So the Germans opposed to Hitler in the 30s were anti German? The Italians opposed to Mussilini, anti Italian? Iraqis opposed to Saddam, anti Iraqi? I actually think George Dubious is pretty anti-American, as all the great, positive things the USA stands for, he and his hawks seem to stand against. Anyway, all this debate about oil shows how important things like wind energy really are. Maybe more Burbo Turbos and the world would be a better place.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Windy, , , Fri Sep 6 15:59:55 2002
Thank you, Mr.Melia, for drawing my attention to Mowlam's excellent little piece in the Guardian, although I must warn you not to take that rag too seriously. Of course it is about oil, it has always been about oil and access to the Persian Gulf.When the Anglo-Iraqi treaty of 1930 was about to expire, it was important for us to come to arrangements with Iraq which advantaged us both, putting an end to the previous attempts by the Labour government to negotiate a new treaty which had always ended in riots and disappointment. After so many years it is still disappointing not to have halted the deterioration in the Middle East. To ask the Arab world to support action against Saddam will be as useless as it was to seek to use Mussolini against Hitler. It will result in the final annihilation of any friends the West may have in the area. The situation has a certain analogy with that which existed in Iran in 1951. We were under strong pressure then from the United States to make terms with Musaddiq, communism being regarded as the only alternative. We did not believe that and refused to accept such a policy, preferring to bide our time and await an opportunity to do business with a more responsible authority. That opportunity will also come in Iraq, if patience is shown and opportunity and encouragement is given to those, and there are many, who believe the future of their world must not be kept in the hands of a madman.
Avon <memoirs@fullcircle.net>
Eden, , , Fri Sep 6 14:50:08 2002
Dear Andy, I have just read the Mowlam piece. I know she made great efforts and won respect for her Northern Ireland period, whence she was honourably and probably unfairly discharged. In the Saddam matter, however, I can't see why a sensible girl like her - I would love to have her over for dinner - can so readily accord the man the rationality that she does. I felt she was arguing as though Saddam was born in Litherland and gone bad while on a foreign stint and settled in there, after which he became too big for his boots and stroppy with it but still the reasoning lad who left all those years ago. I am sure it it isn't like that. Saddam and his like are quite capable of undertaking what appears to rational eyes suicidal enterprises. They see themselves as covered anyway, with great and secret underground hideouts, getaway plans and so forth. Rightly or wrongly, they see their chances of being caught by the Americans about the same as Osama himself, still safe 'somewhere on the globe'. Their very standing up to the US, currently so ill-led and with at least four hands, George, Dique, Donald and Condy, on the beligerancy tiller, as an achievement in itself and the concomitant adulation is very welcome. The destruction of one or other of their countries is not a decisive factor to nuts like these. They are prepared anyway to defend their bailiwick to the last drop of somone else's blood, seeing that as engendering another 'mother of all battles' and a route to further fame. Mo's lightly deeming that 'there's no threat from Iraq', rationally based for sure, is a precarious arrogance, not that she's arrogant, but that, when we westerners assume we've got foreign cultures sorted according to our own logic, in fact we are simply assuming that the bearer of those cultures, when under pressure will suddenly realise our logic was superior all the time and begin to apply it. That's gumtreed many people over the years.

The west is stuck trying to figure how one counters threats from a force made up of suicide bombers, a detail that we are culturally ill prepared to appreciate on the one hand and, at the operational level is hugely simpler since operatives don't have to figure and arrange for a complicated getaway phase. Simply saying that the suicide approach is illogical hasn't helped the Israelis much. It is true that the Saudis are tottering but, were I an American, the last place I'd want my troops to be if Arab hell breaks loose is in the middle of it. I don't think the US could defend the Saudi oil fields anyway: at the first sign of a move on their part, the fields can be disabled by their own current operators. It didn't take long for Saddam to fire up 800 Kuwaiti wells in the Gulf war. It would take long either to disable Saudi wells to a decisive degree before clumsy US forces arrived on the scene, clumsy because frontline battle units are not set up to protect oil wells, fields and suchlike, however bravely and skillfully led. None of the foregoing is to justify military action at this stage. It is simply to say that, just as folk have done over the years - Hitler expected to break London's spirit with bombing raids, guerillas in Colombia expect to break civil society by terror tactics, bomber Harris expected to break German morale by his carpet bombing - if we assume that our logic will predict the potential adversary's upcoming moves, we are getting ouraelves into the hairiest of delicate situations and risking our lads' lives. I still think the terrorism factor and fundamentalism are still decisive ones and the oil bit an aggravating one to the extent that oil income is fuelling Saddam's regime. There is an understandable but dangerous tendancy, I feel, to assume that all woes are America's fault and all America's concern is exclusively oil-based. I see this assumption as underlying a seemingly innate anti-Americanism: you can choose to be anti-American but when these feeling become culturally ingrained, they cloud out all other angles and are therefore dangerous in themselves. The lamentable oratory of George et al doesn't help, of course, but there are still some upstart issues that, all unaware of American monopolaric 'sole pole' status, don't play by the rules emanting from that assumption and, as the US has found over the years, the Middle East is choc-a-bloc with them.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Fri Sep 6 14:42:31 2002


Don't believe all the propaganda jj.

If you don't think it's all about the supply of cheap oil take a look at what Mo Mowlam (an ex British cabinet member) has to say.

Go to: www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,3604,786180,00.html
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
, , , Fri Sep 6 08:08:03 2002


Dear GD, Your knee-jerk assumption that the Iraq matter is all about control of oil surprises me. The US does not control OPEP oil, Russian oil, Mexican oil or, indeed any very large amount of oil outside its own borders, beyond what influence an internally fragmented main player in the market can bring to bear but it is not about to launch any attacks on those producers. Moreover, Iraq is in OPEP so the most resounding of US victories would never deliver control of Iraqi oil into US hands. I am convinced that rating oil as a major factor in this ananlysis will only cloud the issue, a detail common to all knee-jerk response mechanisms. I think there are two main points at issue. One is that Saddam is undoubtedly a dreadfull fellow having gassed tens of thousands of his own citizens, engaged in an utterly useless but bloody 8-year war with Iran, killed, occasionally in person, all (that's 'all') his political oponents, including one relative who, having fled the country, was daft enough to return under an "All is forgiven" pledge. Whilst lamenting sincerely all this awfull stuff, it wouldn't influence western policy had Saddam's generally expansionist ego not been focussed on bringing down the Israeli regime. If he gets his bomb, he can credibly threaten Israel; to date there is no evidence of his threats being empty. In the Middle east, regardless of his possibly losing in any ensuing conflict with Israel, a devastating attack on the Israelis would harvest adulation from the entire Muslim world and especially in the region. It would put the already tottering Saudis on the spot and give Saddam a clout that I think you and I would prefer he didn't get within a mile of. From the US standpoint, however, as the sole pole in our monopolar world, things could unravel very fast: if the US can be shewn to be reluctant to support its, in this case Israeli, friends, any charlie can have a potshot at them and get away with it. As Maggie showed us 20 years ago, no power sees that sort of virtually instant downgrade as acceptable. Not only would the US risk becoming a laughing stock, not serious in its way, they would risk the very quintessence of the world as we (they) know it. Since there is always a dominance, a sort of widely accepted backdrop for all international initiatives (forgotten at Suez, remember), if the top charlie isn't to be the US, who will become the main contendants in the ensuing power struggles? Would you be happy to accept that your life was being, to some degree dictated by, say, the the Israeli government's West Bank policies, internecine fights in OPEP, a Middle Eastern fundmentalist upsurge boiling over globally or othersuch, free of bothersome US spanners?

The other detail is simply that, although there seems to be no evidence Saddam had anything to do with September the 11th, a Saddam with a bomb in his back pocket could threaten America itself: he sails his bomb into New York harbour in a container and detonates it at will. Wiping out New York and humbling the Great Satan would practically beatify Saddam in many Middle Eastern eyes and I think his vanity renders him susceptible to temptations of that kind, even though, once identified as the dirty rotter responsible, US reaction would be prompt, as we have seen already.

So, I think that the US position reflects their reasonable and natural apprehension about having a megalomaniacal nut in a position to cause them and the whole Middle Eastern powderkeg very serious damage, damage from which they would probably never properly recover, in the terms undertsandable today.

As for the arguments against a war, the obvious ones focus on a negotiated solution, inspectors and suchlike, and one of the dreadful consequences being bruited about, namely, that a war could swell Al Quaeda's recruitment lines beyond measure, further endangering the US's safety. The idea of negotiating with Saddam has to be rated against the history of his having lied and reneged on a very long list of agreements, mainly with the UN, and he has shewn every intention of carrying on his military research and acquisitions aimed at getting his hands on the ruddy bomb. Saddam has repeatedly shewn that, with him and his ilk, no meaningful negotiations can be undertaken. If progrees is to be made, he has to go. If Dubya can come up with credible evidence of Saddam's imminent acquisition, by hook or by crook, of weapons of mass destruction, then the matter boils down to "Do we wait until the US, the UK or whomsoever, is hugely damaged and then, to cheers and encouragement, launch a devastating 'back-to-the-stone-age' attack, or do we undertake a limited action to unseat Saddam and protect ourselves and our lively critics, safely ensconced, as they feel themselves to be, in countries whose oft undervalued freedom was, ultimately, very dearly bought."

So, is Dubya the man for the job? I think that discussion will be far from protracted and we'd all be out by 9.30am, in time to buy the freshest of Bav Slices, confected that very morning. Now, you probably saw that Gerhard Schroeder in today's New York Times wasn't at all convinced of the war has to be undertaken at all and denied that this position owed more to elections later this year than wider practicalities. Do you feel he may have a point, a way out of the situation without actual fighting a limited conflict; if so, what is it?

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Fri Sep 6 01:39:58 2002


Distance may dim perspective but don't let it distort it. Remember Suez!? On matters such as Iraq, my dear Dave of Crosby, it is difficult to come to considered conclusions by correspondence. The present situation is far too serious to make any promises, but we must have opportunity and incentive at home and peace and stability abroad. No stone should be left unturned in the search for agreement, but bear in mind the difference between the West and Irak is the difference between the fall of polluting democracies and the rise of oily dictatorships. The British people, with their instinctive good sense, have always understood that. I am sure they will always understand. And when His Master's Voice calls from afar they will respond. Her Majesty's train has already been requisitioned, I understand, for the express purpose of enabling the President's poodle,(long gone are our bulldog days), to make whistle stop tours, the length and breadth of the country, accompanied by his lovely lady wife, Cherie, straight from her charm school, in order to persuade the lower classes their risk seems worth taking.
Avon <memoirs@fullcircle.net>
Eden, , , Thu Sep 5 13:58:07 2002
It's all about OIL, stoopid. And no matter what happens to the rest of the goddam world ah'm gonna control it!
G Dubya <>
Rome (ancient), , , Thu Sep 5 08:07:36 2002
JJ....my organization is very interested in any new source of income, however, we are concerned with regard to law enforcement! If the esteemed mayor is going to appoint the Eliot Ness of Toronto to the position.....we may have to request more than 33.333% P.S.Will cement be readily available?
godmother <>
, , , Thu Sep 5 06:04:03 2002
Dave: if Bush comes to shove, here in the remotest Dariens we shall just, accompanied by a great rush of receding boots, brush off the dust from Cynthia Fruit´s painting of a painting first unveiled, on January 5th 1959, known as "Ned's Atomic Dustbin". The painted plans of the then new British dustbin were originally developed by that old wrinkled retainer Uncle Crun wearing his kingsize nightshirt- plans for a new anti-atomic dustbin which,in the event of radiation, was designed to keep your garbage atom free. When presented to the Prime Minister of that yesterday the plans were described as "What rubbish!" However,hardly had the music of the interval ceased, " I'm Getting Married in the Morning", methinks it was, than the PM presented a new atom proof dustbin to a meeting of his high ranking idiots. " The dustbin has great potential, potonsil and putunshal" he announced proudly. One of the idiots, Lord Stron, asked, to cries of hear hear, if it was possible for a man to go over the Niagara Falls in this newfangled dustbin. So plans duly went ahead to test Ned's dustbin over the Niagara Falls. For this the government of the day brought the Niagara Falls to London and put it up at the Savoy in charge of a master of nuclear explosions. The test was, of course, successful and Bloodnok was able to announce they had managed to send an elephant up the falls in an atom proof dustbin and it had lived.... "This is London calling in the uncut bicycle service of the Ba Be See. This afternoon, the Prime Minister, told an eager half-empty House that today, England would launch an atomic dustbin into the Niagara Falls, with a highly qualified pilot at the controls. There were demonstrations at the dustbin launching base, when a million barber electricians carrying soup tureens laid down in the road, with socks full of grit. The driver of the steam roller said 'It was so tempting, I'm sorry, I won't do it again' . . . Arsenal 8 - Everton 87... (fade)..... When the time comes and your P.M. answers the bush telegraph, and once more it's into the.... remember it's for England, Texas and the free world, yet again! P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Thu Sep 5 04:00:00 2002


I know this is usually a formum for the more light hearted things, but the impending attack against Iraq is going to be a major issue - what are the TCCers' views on it?
Dave <>
Crosby, , , Thu Sep 5 00:18:42 2002
Woof!
Bonnie the dog <>
, , , Wed Sep 4 07:40:54 2002
Well Agnes, maybe you have a point. If the missionaries want to participate then they will just have to "walk on water". A better idea would be to build a pub instead. Could even call it the BROOKE 2.
Frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Wed Sep 4 03:42:11 2002
no religious orders are democratic. burbo has been called democratic so no order gets to dominate it. no. no orders telling everyone how awful they are. or i will sign away my citizenship rights to a job challeged mexican windfarm technician that burbo needs more of. but i will take a cat and call it le sands. what breed. a new one. burb:erry blue.
agnes tique <nofirstcause@edu.edu>
crosby, //, //, Wed Sep 4 01:02:44 2002
J.J. If you would prefer to breed cats on Burbo rather than do the oil drilling thing then I'll be first in line for one of those, now what do you call the breed? is it BURBESE? And Andy, no mention was made of the religious order that will undoubtedly dominate our promised land (BURBO) Are you still holding the position of Pastor Emeritus in addition to your Mayors job?
Frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , The Colonies, Tue Sep 3 23:31:31 2002
Well, not untypically, we seem to be galloping off purposefully in all directions at once, surely, a healthy sign of the strength of Burbolegian Democratic Institutions. Roping the Three Graces in was a genial, somewhat leftyfieldy touch, I thought. As to the Graces' becoming namesakes for the Pier Head buildings, I think that must have occurred rather as the fourth estate and the seventh art came into being, in the case at hand, being along the lines of a classy fourth addition to an existing and tradition- heavy previous three, with the tradition and solemnity emphasised by the reference to Zeus' three daughters, mythologically the goddesses of revelry and joy in the service of Aphrodite, the goddess of love ( and all that at the Pier Head erstwhile boneshaker tram terminus! Blimey Days!).

Now, in regard to Burbo burbeoningliness, I feel that our watchword ought to be 'most circumspect' for several reasons, one being that no-one else has claimed it as theirs so we could be full owners. But I digress. The attraction of Burbo surely is based at least partly on its untouchidity, its 'open to the sea and skyness' as it were and I would be loath to sacrifice that je-ne-sais-quoi-ship for a few barrels of oil. Now, were reserves proven to be more than a few barrels, we could always adopt a lateral drill and production technique, whereby we could actually keep all the paraphernalia, derricks, drillstrings, kellys (yes, actually; and for the curious, here in Venezuela, 'vástago cuadrado de transmisión') etc etc at a remote point. At first blush, the most promising would be somewhere in downtown Formby but that's not definitive, naturally. The bank itself would remain pristine, doing real estate values no harm at all at all. As for the aerodrome, as community-at-large conscious folk, I am for using Speke, bolstering the low key aspect, as it were and boosting our local airport's precarious fortunes in the face of Ringway and all its works and pomps.

The proposed mafia connexion is another matter altogether. I feel it would be advisable to secretly ask Elaine, as in all self respecting scenes of this type, 'Look, lass: are you in or are you in?'. Elaine's professed reminiscence was breadbin oriented and we really ought to ask whether she fancies shifting field a bit to accommodate mob connexionry, payoffs and suchlike. I mean, how do we know that Elaine isn't mother superior of an enclosed order with one computer in the entire province? Besides, if she's 'not in', we can save a cool 33.333%, dammit.

Before bruiting about our secret pre-emptive strike plan, I want to know whether such an initiative, reflected in extra work for Crosby strategists and tacticians as they hone their varied expertises and consequently stay up late and eat more Satterthwaite's bread, will bear at all on the usual Bavarian Slice Supply: if that were to fall at all noticeably, the ever-present eye of the spy could readily jump to the traditional conclusion, namely, "They're up to something, probably a pre-emptive strike!" immediately signalled back to headquarters in Bagdaddly and/or Washington-on-the-Pot-Omac, and provoking a pre-pre-emptive strike, readily enough predictable when you see Arabs and Buzzin' Cuzzins, buying up the last Bavslice stocks before the balloon goes up. So, let's bend with the breeze for the moment then and keep our upsleave options in our back pockets with a view to adroitly sidestepping foreign kibosh actions. For the moment.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Tue Sep 3 22:05:16 2002


thats a pretty secret tunnel you have there!
mole <needle@dig.biz>
spadenamer, ((, )), Tue Sep 3 16:27:03 2002
It is most encouraging to see the unparalleled growth in stature of Burbo on the world stage. Of course, with our noo found economic, (wind) social and political clout, we must not lose track of our resposibilities to the international "community". Suffice it to say that if anyone tries to muscle in on Burbo's vast oil, gas and wind wealth they must be reminded of the secret tunnel linking Great Burbo Bank to the nuclear stockpile beneath Sniggery Woods. We are patient people, but a pre-emptive strike is not out of the question.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Mayor of Burbo, , , Tue Sep 3 09:33:09 2002
Nigel, I am a former resident of Waterloo and Crosby who survived the Wartime bombings. Being the first to acknowledge your posting, I, for one, have never ever heard the buildings referred to as such. Suffice to say,should you not receive confirmation from those who post messages on this site then the story that you read is in doubt.........Now on to business........Regarding BURBO..We can now proceed with planning and construction because we have found an architect. Thank you Nigel. Please take note that Andy M. will of course oversee all affairs of BURBOERIA and perhaps a new title other than Mayor would be appropriate. JJ, being from Venezuela, was quick to acquire drilling rights for oil and our friend P.A has the expertise to construct the required international airport. Runways will of course parallel the Mersey so that residents of Blundellsands will not be upset at planes flying overhead. Last time anyone tried that caper ie the Luftwaffe, the poor pilots had to navigate through anti-aircraft fire coming from the Blundellsands area. Elaine in Chicago will oversee the formation of a "Mafia" family since gambling will likely be a source of revenue from a tax haven such as Burbo with it's casinos etc. By the way JJ be prepared to remit 33-1/3% to "Godmother" Please post your job applications on this site. As previously mentioned, we are looking for an archeologist ( bring a spade or a shovel when applying)...........
Frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , Canada, Tue Sep 3 03:05:02 2002
I'm a Crosby exile and an architect. Recently, I've seen news items in architectural magazines about a proposal to add a fourth building to the three at the Pier Head. The magazines refer to adding a "fourth grace" to the existing "three graces". I've never heard the Pier Head buildings called the "three graces". Is this developer-speak or have I been missing something?
nigel peterson <petersonn.beeb.net>
Birmingham, , UK, Mon Sep 2 19:36:28 2002
Just a note to any who erringly jumped to the conclusion that the "Crsoby" of my posting was a typo: As Burbo Foreign Minister, I felt the time was ripe to begin introducing members to some Crosbinical anagramatical variations found in the tomes of Crosby Associations & Pacts, a mission statement and strategy for the Global Crosby Brotherhood, now a lengthy list of towns and municipal districts acknowledging Crosby's GlobaL Primacy in many matters aof international concern. The town in question was founded in 1853 by expatriate Swiss mountaineers in the tropical Bolivian Andes - the bare knees alps, so called - and their application, dutifully filled out by students from the Andean high school, the Campo Marino Liceo Para Muchachas, will be submitted to the high council at the Winter Solstice meeting, being the one that has to be held at the point closest to the Crosby Epicentre, the fount of Crosby creativity, located right below the car park of the Pheasant Inn. Those who spotted the detail naturally may wish to overlook this note, written just as a note to any who thought that the original might have constituted a typo.

In an ecological aside, I would like to second the proposal from the honourable member fromn Darien: apart from the obvious benefits from the proposed facility, Crosby terminological leadership, resting in this case on our claiming ownership of the widely used phrase, 'When the cowpats hit the fan', would be rendered almost unassailable.

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Mon Sep 2 05:10:32 2002


Is Burbo's Mayor aware of environmentally unfriendly German plans to short circuit his windfarm? According to the Echo, farm fresh cow pats from local cows, will be used to power electricity into Merseyside homes. The proposed biogas power station will collect 320 tonnes of cow pat and 80 tons of food waste daily into five Gianormous Fermentation Bins, to produce methane for gas fired generators linked to the National Grid. Apart from creating an obvious need for additional binpersonnel in the region, the excrement based energy station can also work in tandem with the Burbofarm whose wind turbines may be used to redirect the stench of decomposing organic waste, fanning it up and away into the Irish Sea.
Burbo Wannabee <garbagein@garbageout.tcc>
, , , Mon Sep 2 04:16:42 2002
An ARCHEOLOGICAL dig in the sands of BURBO. (archAEological to those acadenic nitpickers) We should dig for answers to this big BIN controversy whilst time is on our side ( the sands of time). Who knows what treasures might be found beneath that golden surface. The garbage long ago discarded by that ancient civilisation of BURBOERIANS who occupied that idyllic (now mainly underwater) continent known as BURBOERIA would certainly provide the necessary clues as to what honours were bestowed upon those who were entrusted with the duties of trash disposal. Archeology is often a cover-up for looting as is evidenced by the treasures to be viewed at the Lady Lever Art Gallery. Lord Leverhulme did a fine job of robbing other lands but somehow he managed to miss all the hidden treasures of BURBOERIA. Ah, sweet mystery of BURBO at last I've found thee! ...Experienced BINMEN/WOMEN my apply to join this pending expedition..
frank in the colonies <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Mon Sep 2 03:13:27 2002
Wow! That last posting from Crosby's Darien outpost, and you don't get much further out than Darien, reveals that finally Globalisation has arrived at the world of Crosby's binmen and birds. The call is out: bins to the fore and to the world's rescue! Onward Christian binmen! To South Africa! On arrival at the conference halls, intone the original rescue anthem: "Never Worry, Never Fear, Crosby's Binguys and Gals are here!", to the melody of Strauss's Radetsky March. After paralysing the delegates with the shock of such prompt and efficacious relief, march to all binlike receptacles and empty them, by numbers, into the plastic bins provided, all to the rousing notes of our anthem, the Radetsky.

Bear in mind that this is a watershed, a turning point, a Wendespot, a great 'before and after' in binliness: as always in rubbishy stuff, there is a deeper meaning that reaches apogee at an international conference. Just think: a binresqueue, Crosby-led, no less, at not just any international do but the very earth summit. It's overoodled with cosmic siginificance: the conference will spawn kilometres of ink of all sorts, being newspaper, reports and even handwrit like when we was sprightlier youngsters than today, and therein lies the esotericocity of the thing: the words 'bin' and 'nib', mirror images one of the other, are both derived from the ancient Sanskrut stem, 'i', a touching detail graphically revealing that, even from time immemorial most trash was 'nib' generated! Evidence is myriad; even in our own neck of the woods, only educated people could write and they were precious few so, as their rubbish gathered momentum, the common man had the word for the snootier literate charlie. And what was that word? None other than 'his nibs'! So, our binbrigade members are being called upon not just to collect rubbish but to realise and embody the veryness of rubbish disposal, clearing up after an international tripefest held under tripe reduction auspices! What greater Bin-occasion are we likely to see in our lifetimes?

I think we should be sending our frontline binmen and women into the fray with a new uniform, a new slogan (suggestions welcome) and that they should be deemed eligible for a new medal in this new war, a stylised represenation of their valour in stainless (of course) steel: "The Crosby Bin Lid", class 1 for leading binmen and class 2 for adjacent binmen. Go Crsoby!

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Sun Sep 1 22:05:58 2002


S.O.S. for TCC's Binladies and gentlemen: You are urgently needed in South Africa. 198 countries at the 10-day U.N. Earth Summit conference in Johannesburg are expected to generate between 300 and 400 tons of trash, of which only 20 percent is to be recycled. Although recycling bins have been put in conference halls, they've nearly all ended up as replacements for garbage cans, filled with all sorts of non-recyclable waste. Trash compactors at the back of the main conference center have been working overtime, and municipal workers have had to make several trips daily to empty overflowing trash containers. Binfolk waste no time.... 198 nations need you.....NOW!
Burbo Wannabee <garbagein@garbageout.tcc>
, , , Sun Sep 1 17:05:48 2002
Like there haven't been sufficient Beatles Bashes in the last 3 million years (give or take)?
Brian Wilson <>
, , , Sun Sep 1 09:34:25 2002
babs you need to get out more
me <>
petworth, , , Sat Aug 31 21:46:23 2002
We still call it the bread bin! Whta else would you call it? The bin men here were a day late.....cos of bank hols-obviously not striking binmen - is that over now? CrosbyBabs - I'm back at work on Monday but maybe we could do summat at the weekend?I will be child free too - hip hip hurray!Why isn't there another Beatles Bash?
Babs <>
Southport, , , Sat Aug 31 11:00:11 2002
Just to stir the pot up a little more, when I was a child in Waterloo, we used to call the container where we kept the bread.....the Bread Bin!!
Elaine <>
, , USA, Sat Aug 31 09:10:32 2002
R & R, By Jove, your posting "BINGUYS" & "BINDOLLS" takes the cake, er... bavarian slice. Well done with that one...........Approved by The Colonies
cfjm3@hotmail.com <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , Frank in Toronto, Sat Aug 31 03:05:56 2002
Babsuk,my binmen/persons came on time this week,should I be worried? will they not come on Monday?.......oh,by the way,how about having the mini meet in Crosby this coming week? Anyone else want to come......leave a message on here
Babs1940 <Crosby4ever,com>
Crosby, Liverpool, Engerland, Sat Aug 31 02:24:56 2002
Hello, Merseyviews is proud to include a brand new section on our site - The virtual tour of Liverpool city centre. The tour offers amazing interactive 360 degree views from dozens of locations around the city. Merseyviews continues to provide dozens of pictures past and present of the area, Messages and memories from people from around the globe, a comprehensive links portal to all things Merseyside and much more. Access all our content from our homepage: http://www.merseyviews.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk
Merseyviews <merseyviews@blueyonder.co.uk>
, , , Sat Aug 31 00:35:36 2002
I wanna know if MY binmen are gonna come tomorrow or not?
Babs <>
Southport, , , Thu Aug 29 20:24:45 2002
Burbo citizens have no fear your Mayor says he is a man with a plan. And you'd better believe him. But this is palindromic 2002. There is also "A MAN A PLAN A CANAL PANAMA" ready for implementation in Superbin's explosive backyard. REFUSE US REFUSEES and send 'em back home. The world's only superbinforce has lost its focus and are too easily misled by stories, fabricated for the gullible, in the long shadows of the Arabian night and a complex 5 sider.
Burbo Wannabee <garbagein@garbageout.tcc>
Pico Uno, Darien, , Thu Aug 29 19:28:47 2002
how does anybody "religiously stroke"; how do we know the dog is "poor"; is the dog smiling; is it "lord bin" or "bin lord"; are "sub normal" and "hawk like" both 2 words or one each; are bav slices being pressured to punch above their weight; who exactly qualifies as royal household refuse(limit answers to only 1 side of foolscap); why have "binbloke", "binbird", "binfellow", "binlass", "binbird" and "binchap" or the euro-terms "binmonseiur", "binjung" and binchaval" not been proposed;why has the sexually neutral "binbod" not been selected to satisfy canadian usage requirements; why has the local crosby term for the people who pick up the rubbish been such a fertile source of postings when heavier and graver topics have failed to catch the public fancy; why should crosby need beauty, form etc etc input from a bunch of dead greeks when it can easily home-grow the same quality; does the mayor avow or disavaow that he loves the american people but is at odds with their dubiously elected chief jerk; and is he allowed to use a public website famous out to the caradoc and beyond to tout such views; can we all have a go? (multifunctional questionmark) but if you like authentic nebulous stuff, go to http://www.robgendlerastropics.com/Nebulas.html ahmed cohen <vanuatu@boranet.bo>
crosby, <<<<<<, sefton, Thu Aug 29 15:19:06 2002


"The Blessed Cherrie" is that the same as "That Woman in Red religiously stroking a poor D.O.G.'s bum at the top of this page?" ab.
Attila the Bum <>
Out of., , , Thu Aug 29 13:42:26 2002
The Mayor is a man with a plan. In a last-minute attempt to stave off "Iraq Attack 2 - the Movie" (at least until he's safely ensconced in the Burbo Home for Retired Dignitaries), His Worship and his Environmental Minister, Lord Bin of Burbo, are to organise a grand Burbo Bavarian Slice Bash.

Invited to this will be the educationally sub normal Toxic Texan and his war loving, world opinion ignoring, war mongering, blood thirsty, bomb loving, armageddon inducing, planet polluting, nuke desiring, oil greedy, megalomaniac, corporately crooked, deluded, Churchillian aspiring, hawk like cronies who need a little cheering up.

Instead of making the world even more miserable, a few Bav Slices will transform their view of mankind, inducing a flower power, warm glowing, rose tinted, all you need is love, hallucinogenic, feeling of tolerance and spirituality to all and sundry.

Washed down with a few cups of Burbo-Blend Earl Grey poured elegantly by the Blessed Cherie, they will surely see sense and desist. Won't they?
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinteret.com>
Mayor, The Burbo Bunker, , Thu Aug 29 10:06:24 2002


A tip in the hand, at the tip, is worth two on the hat. The Mayor should give his nod to awarding annual binsexual, binary, or if he so prefers, binomial nomenclatures to His Noo Order of the Bin, before any mainland REFUSE BURBO REFUSE threat leaves his precious silt polluted with a stinking heap of old clothes, books, magazines and a sodden marmalade mass of tea leaves,stale Bavarian slices, regurgitated Rogan Josh and other rotting household delicacies.Why do you think H.M. inherited an Olde Order of the Bath? To dispose of the obsolete and to wash clean past, and all future attempts, to REFUSE ROYAL HOUSEHOLD REFUSE, of course.
Burbo Wannabee <garbagein@garbageout>
, , , Wed Aug 28 15:41:40 2002
Having a name has nothing to do with being flesh and blood or having feelings of sadness or joy. Take the name "Dog", for example, which is the name of the thing we call a dog. Now, this is nothing more than an agreement that the sounds D, O, G, dog, will be recognised as referring to a certain species of animal. Only those individuals who subscribe to this convention or agreement - in this case the speakers of English - will be able to understand the meaning of this arbitrary combination of sounds or letters. Most of our speech consists of such arbitrary symbloic signs. Now, the speakers of France will refer to the species of animal which we call a dog as 'chien'. But it doesn't actually make any difference to what the animal is or does. I don't wish to hurt the dog's feelings, but if you truly think I would, it just goes to show you don't know much about dogs, and nothing at all about semiotics.
No Need For a Name <>
, , , Wed Aug 28 15:38:24 2002
O yeah? Well your uncle's obviously called Gustav, isn't he? Just expecting binguys and bindolls, like if they were robots, to carry on regardless of their professional title is not to see they are flesh and blood and have feelings and sadness and joy and happiness at the sight of a child smiling while looking at a flower opening in a field of gambolling lambs and twittering skylarks on a sunny spring day if, for example, accompanying their mummies on the way to pick up a lottery jackpot. Just to put the matter in perspective, look at http://quest.arc.nasa.gov/mars/ask/humans-on-mars/Waste_on_Mars.txt where you can see how life would be in waste disposal if, by chance you had been born elsewhere.
R&R <dustably@dawn.net>
Cleanmachine-on-Wye, ''', Lotteryville, Wed Aug 28 15:09:40 2002
I don't think we should give them a name. Why our obsession with naming everything? If you think about it, unless it's a strike, they'll go about their business whatever we call them. If we called them all Bob, they'd still do what they do. We need merely let them go about their business with a grateful nod or a tip of the hat in their direction.
No Need For a Name <>
, , , Wed Aug 28 09:30:07 2002
I see that things are getting out of hand and the only acceptable solution would be to bag your trash (or garbage as we call it in the colonies). By extension, the collectors thereof would be BAGMEN, BAGMAN, BAGWOMAN, BAGWOMEN. Herein lies an inherent difficulty which would be a union-based objection or exclusion clause as are usually brought about by National Unions of This That and The Other. The names BAGMAN and BAGLADY were adopted years ago by The International Union of Down and Outers and therefore are unusable. So, it's back to the drawing board boys and girls. Therefore, we should await a pronouncement on this issue forthcoming from the ultimate Municipal Authority, namely, The Mayor of Burbo. My humble suggestion would be for everyone to attent a Council meeting at the Brooke and get this issue resolved pronto, prior to the big stink that will prevail should a garbage strike occur. Don't you hate the sound of those clanging bin lids anyway?
Frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, Toronto, We're so posh that our trash doesn't stink, Wed Aug 28 02:34:01 2002
this is getting confusing. what with bin laden, bin-laden, bin maiden, not to speak of the shadily post-louche laden maiden. it was never like this when I was a boy/girl/occupant! what is the world coming to? 1 solution is to go for the lady binman and leave it at that. has anyone ever gone for a lady binman and survived to tell whether the title part was responsible for any relationship related discontinuities? is there room for original c.r.a.p. research? afghanical phrase impact studies? are we simple posters getting into bed over our heads with the sleeping bin enemy? to name but a few.
ahmed cohen <vanuatu@boranet.bo>
crosby, <, <<, Tue Aug 27 22:23:44 2002
Koran unaccepating counterpart bin maidens. Too many missing bin ladens.
OBL <dogma@kabul.afg>
, , , Tue Aug 27 21:08:04 2002
Dear 'Arry, I think phrases like your "accepatable female" verge on the asteriskable and should be posted only after younger readers have gone to bed, if at all. Let us get our priorities right and remember always that childhood is the future of the country's unborn.
Disgusted <deodrantlychallenged@alltimes.edu>
Tunbridge Wells, //-, --, Tue Aug 27 16:54:15 2002
Bin there. Done that.
Mayor (Worshipful) <>
, , , Mon Aug 26 16:16:15 2002
I am inviting entries for a musical Binman Eulogical Piece, to the tune of the Wraggle Taggle Gypsies and scored for bassoon and bass vacuum cleaner. Lyric must inlcude the word 'binman'or accepatable female counterpart. Closing date to announced just in time.
Note 'arry <quiverinsemiquaver@tremolato.edu>
Salzburg, ---, Österreich, Mon Aug 26 14:37:58 2002
Somebody should recycle Toronto! bbb
Sir Bastion Basildon Bond <>
Greater Burbo, , , Mon Aug 26 13:17:10 2002
Will forward copies to Toronto's Mayor Mr. Mel Lastman, The United Brotherhood of Bin Men/women, Local 666 The United Brotherhood of Sanitation Engineers, Local 667 The United Sisterhood of Sanitation Engineers, Supervisory Division, Garbage Collectors International and of course the Mafia. Also, while singing that famous song by Lonnie Donegan " MY OL' MAN'S A DUSTMAN" we shall ponder changing the words in keeping with new the job- description pronouncement.
Frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, RECYCLING IS THE BUZZWORD NOW, , Sun Aug 25 16:13:54 2002
The steaming binmanological nomenclatural crisis, resting largely on euphemismological considerations, many born far from home - Peoria comes to mind - seems to me to be an effort to convert matters into what we would wish them to be as opposed to what they are. In other words, an escapological ploy to sidestep the real world: inasmuch as, for our children, the parents of future genrations but presently without protective cultural baggage and the most exposed to such ploys, the Peoria Syndrome becomes an outright lie. The bible says, in John 4, 44, that Satan is the father of lies; that places purveyors thereof are up a stinking creek, paddle free. What's wrong with the term 'bin man'? One point in its favour is that it does the job it set out to do: it tells us we are on about gents with a 'bin' connexion, without actually going into detail. That last bit is left to us and, cultural baggage in hand, we are well placed to interpret correctly. Now, entirely non-polemically, I would have felt one could make a case for 'garbage collectors' as referring to politicians or indeed, the tabloid press, who, after collecting, spew forth their crop to the community at large. And why shouldn't 'sanitation engineer' reasonably refer to the declared profession, on a tax form maybe, of a Mafia hitman? It seems reasonable to suppose then, that these recently coined terminological innovatories could engender misunderstandings all over. And I am the first to vote for the clear and straighforward, the limpid and crystalline, the 'mean what yer say and say what yer mean' school of the nomenclaturological gestalt. Go Binmen of England, rise and be counted, dust off that glorious heritage and claim your historical place in the dictionary. Fall not for the Transatlantic tripe being onfoisted by e-printers of 'dictionarological updates, as seen on TV'. And, if these days there are ladies among your number, please let us know which you and they prefer, the options being: 'Lady Binman' or 'Binlady'.
Dusty <tommyrot@pickupartistry.biz>
Tha Darkening, \#define _CGI_HTTP_REFERER http://www.merseyworld.com/crosby-channel/guestbookadd.htm, Vendles, Sun Aug 25 14:12:01 2002
Over 'ere we call 'em "GARBAGE COLLECTORS" not BIN MEN. Nothing allowed any more that is gender specific. I think though, the correct universal description is now "SANITATION ENGINEER" and their pay cheques reflect this title.
cfjm3@hotmail.com <frank>
toronto, , , Sat Aug 24 15:11:39 2002
Mr. Mayor: Binmen have rights too. They just all stayed at home to celebrate their record A-level results.
Binlid <notruckwith@lorry.biz>
Dump in Weir, --, sefton, Fri Aug 23 19:46:15 2002
That'll be the one Andy - my mate musta been getting her Melia's mixed up!
Babs <>
S'port, , , Fri Aug 23 13:12:08 2002
I sympathise JJ and P.A. but you are not alone. In this neck of the woods, the bin men were 2 days late last week. Outrageous.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Burbo Wind, , , Fri Aug 23 07:44:04 2002
By Jingo, P.A., things verging on the border between very and supremely hairy, eh? The Republic of Burbo does have a ring about it though I'd've located it more shirely, toward the direction of Middle Earth myself. The big advantage of course would be the elfin passport with that instant holographic presentation they have, hovering above the holder's head emitting softly and firmly, signals identifying the holder as one of many talents, most unperceived and almost certainly efficacious in dispatching ill-willed, on-duty marauding marauders and all manner of cads perpetrating dirty work afoot or on horseback, so there. In your neck of the sniggeries, I would keep quiet about any putative Irish connexion, however diaphanous, unless somehow copperbottomed and duly outsigned by a bona fide Little People representative. Does the bonny Burbo Mayorness-ship have an outstanding stand-in arrangement with the Little Ones whereby we endorse theirs and they endorse ours?

Our own area is plagued at the minute with budding postulants for 'hairy' distinguishabilitation: today's novices, currently including even the foreign minister, are those trying to impugn the supreme court's finding for the high ranking officers, a finding saying that the government's accusation of their having been guilty of 'military rebellion' in the April episodes was unfounded. All erroneously, this has been bruited about, primarily by the president whose rating of the court only weeks ago was, '....one of the best, if not the best, in the world', as being a finding that there was no coup d'état. While the Pres. Man is culpably mistaken on that front, it suits his purpose because his paid demonstators - who now earn more and have better benefits than the guardsmen sent to protect them (yes, the government supplies paid demonstrators and military guards for them thus to prevent local police from interrupting their officially sanctioned riots) feed on this stuff. Their latest declared enemies are 'international neo-liberalism' and, get this: - 'international zionism'. Well, Gee: sounds like déja vu all over again, eh?

Both our bailiwicks seem to be in one of those phases, of themselves not bereft of interest and simultaneously transitively trepidatatory, where personal strategy is dictated by mutually conflictive directives, being 'heads above water, lads' and 'heads below parapets, lads' and where the water is nazi-salute high and the damn parapets are all erected on low-slung bungalow-like edifications.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Thu Aug 22 16:41:05 2002


JJ. Crosby seems to be the fastest link between my PC and yours in our current state of commotion. To acknowledge your direct mail of yesterday attaching the El Mundo article, I'll just say: yes it already has had an impact, and yes, a new passport, issued by the Republic of Burbo to Gringo look alikes, would undoubtedly provide better protection in cases of mistaken nationality. Republic of Burbo has a suitably 3rd or 4th world ring about it and its close proximity to an Irish sea and the Emerald Isle might well give the bearer a better chance of being allowed to pass freely without let or hinderance. Always assuming t' other side are willing to ask before shooting!
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Thu Aug 22 01:16:30 2002
The only Paul Rice I remember, Babs, was one that went to school (St Bedes) with my younger brother
Andy Melia <>
, , , Wed Aug 21 12:07:13 2002
I can remember him Frank - brother of my bessie, oldest mate I went to stay with last week. I was wondering if Andy remembered him actually.
Babs <>
Sunny Southport, , , Wed Aug 21 11:04:47 2002
JJ, Mucho appologesos for the late acknowledgement but my classless computer self destructed late last week. I am about to switch to WORDPERFECT to voluntarily write 500 lines (as was the custom at St. Mary's College).............." I SHALT NOT SMACK, SPIT, OR CURSE AT MY COMPUTER" No, can't do that....have used up all my paper supply printing your eloquent message. D**n, now the ****** printer has crashed........Babs, can't remember Paul Rice. PS Go ahead and sue the Government, one of my friends did. As he was of small stature, he sued the local council for building the sidewalks too close to his a**. OOPS, that little swear word was enough to crash my computer again!
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Wed Aug 21 01:56:36 2002
Gotcha!
Mooner <Kiss my>
( Y ), , , Tue Aug 20 20:04:12 2002
jj - stretch the truth? who would think THAT? Azerbaijanian??
Babs <babs@languageschool.com>
S'port, , , Mon Aug 19 19:16:25 2002
New readers, Antonio and others who feel I might have been overly economic with the untruth, start here, at your peril: the foregone is just some charlie's fake-fancy way of showing how and why the effervescent heart of old Greek art, dance, dramaturgy, mathematics, appreciation of form and other stuff by the oodle was, rather as some art treasures before the Nazi advance, stashed elshwere for safety and the benefit of posterity - primarily TCC members et Al who seems to all over - in the face of advancing disaster. The stash-point opted for bordered on a main mystical node knowed only to certain esoteric Greek fellas expert in ley lines. Unlike dastardly lay lines - ulteriorly driven chat-up openers in the mouths of blackguards - ley lines are little humpy-lumpy lines of raised earth that crisscross the English countryside and have all mannner of mystery attached. All TCC knows that that knowed node is located just off the bottom of South Road.

That's where the Burbo connexion comes in: in Crosby, we have but few odds and sods onto which to hang our straightfaced convolutions and that are capable of standing the continual TCC hammering they might get. Look what happened to 5 Lamps! Hence the possibly irreverant tendancy by some who'll stay nameless to play fast and loose with the sacred Burbo, although Sniggery Woods, which to date has only had to conceal a mere Galactic Radar Listening Post squirreled away in its dark entrails, still has rubbish mileage left in it, I'd've opined.

But how to make a solid case that Crosby's outstandingness, appreciated most readily in the radiance of soul and bod of its ladies is in fact the very beating heart of classical Greek perfection? (since the whole thing began with 'class') I chose the purporting route and revealed how it all emenated from the Great B and provided the now pretty obvious underpinning of the hotly unundisputed predominance of charm and stuff daily oozed by Crosby lasses so naturally as they sashay their way into history; or the George. But there was still a wide-open hitch. Enter Melanie and her Antonio: no 3 guesses for which one he is. First, she doesn't spell her name like real Welshy, which always has to be allffffaigypllann sort of thing so that was corrected in short order. Then there's all this lisping stuff. Antonio Banderas(it means 'flags' btw) is in thick with Melanie Gryyyyphytthhhwwffffyth and the famous Spanish lisp was upbrought by her posting, a bit naughtily but there it is. That gave the key to the caboodle: take Mythology and unlisp it to Missology. Now you're in open country and the route to Seafield and Manor Road and Merch's (B & G) and St. Lukes and Holy Family and St. Peter's and Paul's and St Bede's and Uncle Tom Cobley's Shoe-in group is an open book, waiting only to be downset, if not downput.

The portmanteau bit was a red herring throwed in mischievously to distract attention by focussing momentarily on the well known bags for carrying coats used by sailors in port.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, \#define _CGI_HTTP_REFERER http://www.merseyworld.com/crosby-channel/guestbookadd.htm, Vendles, Sun Aug 18 22:57:27 2002


a leedel beeto elp, jota jota.
Antonio <meliant@banners.com>
, , , Sun Aug 18 20:30:25 2002
Might as well be Russian.....
babs <russian@bout.com>
Russport, , , Sun Aug 18 19:31:00 2002
Peter, if you want to talk about the issues on this subject i am on the crosbycam.com chat thing about 8 tonight and most nights as i am keen to "talk live" about Crosby issues.
John Taylor <jtaylor01@btinternet.com>
Crosby, Liverpool, UK, Sun Aug 18 16:34:57 2002
Aw, come on Antonio; what are friends for?

.. & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, .., vendles, Sun Aug 18 11:46:57 2002


K estranje istori esarga jota jota ¿you r too me atakin ze er, no ?
Antonio <meliant@banners.com>
, , , Sun Aug 18 05:22:33 2002
Occasionally, one is humbled beyond the usual, not having seen what was staring one in the phace the whole time. After the mayor's page Melia/ancient world connexion as per that page and Melanie's key lisp input, it all falls into place, becoming one of those "Now it can be told" sagas: the Melia-Ancient Greece-Iberia World and the recurring mention of the Burbo-Egypt axis - a macro ley-line phenomenon, btw - coupled with the inexplicably and mystically ongoing stream of glorious birds, often but not always of Seafield provenence, the Crosby predominance in feminine charm, elegance and flow perfection and so much more. The clincher was Antonio's lisp. But of course! There it is! The lisp is proper to Castillian Spanish but not Andalusian solely because, contrary to a competitive theory put about by Gib-hungry Spaniards, it was imported! The whole Med lisped originally and, with no decent road communication, the northerly Castillians simply never got the news it was out of fashion and use it thtill. Now, if you unlisp, 'Greek Mythology', you get 'Greek Missology', the stories of all those endearing young charmers, whomwith they listened to Ravel's Bolero and whomto they gave birth, occasionally in the traditional wood nymph way. Now, the Greek world, its poetry, and so forth, as it saw the approaching eclipse, wisely configured itself to fall under predominating ley influences and thereby fled its crumbling ambiance seeking whither to deposit the vibrant spirit of its treasures of genius, beauty, appreciation of perfection of form and drama. 'Seek and you shall phind', the Greeks had advised over the ages, so taking their own advice, whom did they find as a repositary, and more interestiungly, where did they find them? I'll give yer three guesses.

.. & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Sun Aug 18 03:04:30 2002


Dikaiopolis est in agros.
Greek Dave <>
, , , Sat Aug 17 19:23:39 2002
It's all greek to me....
Babs <>
S'port, , , Sat Aug 17 18:21:09 2002
Maybe our resident latin lovers/classical scholars would be interested in visiting the following website: www.theoi.com/Ouranos/Meliai.html

Here you will find the ancient tree-like nymph (painfully castrated) origins of the Mayor of Burbo Bank. Now, where's that tarasomalata?
Andy Melia <>
Burbo Nymphai, All over the boundless earth..., , Sat Aug 17 09:31:52 2002


Dear Babs, It's all overblown, I am sure but, if you must know about Latin delights, lovers and roamin' soldiers, I am in a position to attest that a youthly exposure to Latin does render said youthable a great lover but, alas, the effect only lasts for 75 years at which point it begins to evanesce. They say. This has given us the 'Latin lover' term which, contrary to a received belief about chaps from below the 'olive line', actually homes in on the well kept secret that successful seduction, characteristically exhibiting a readily harmonised rythm and occasionally, canto, is the basis of much 'classical music'. And Ravel's Bolero.

As for schoolyears, the delight-fact is that, if you can only experience just so many from 9 to 4 in school, the experience of any one of them would, per se, ipso facto and on the spottle, eliminate the opportunity to experience any other one during that time. Whatever: on an 'a posteriori' evidence basis, old Manor must have done a wonderful job in spite of it all, otherwise, you couldn't have finished up being so delightfull, now could you?

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, \# _CGI_HTTP_REFERER http://www.merseyworld.com/crosby-channel/guestbookadd.htm, Vendredi, Fri Aug 16 23:59:03 2002


Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes.
Catullus <>
, , , Fri Aug 16 20:57:04 2002
Never had the opportunity to experience any latin delights at Manor.Total deprivation - maybe I should sue the government for failing to provide equal educational opportunities? I can't help but wonder how different my life could have been...... Frank just round the corner life was not so posh! Your most gracious, Royal Mayorness - the world shrinks daily - Paul Rice - a pal of yours?
Babs <>
Southport, , , Fri Aug 16 18:52:12 2002
As a onetime, sometime, Hearstwhile member of St Mary's Alpha stream (until outfound!), I was something of a Latin Lover myself, after a sui generis Friday Ascendant sort of fashion. There were maths and Greek lovers there too but no-one flagged as an Antonio and much less one rolling with his ar's, at least not intrusively. We eschewed the odd c-lisper as discriminatory: "Lisp the lot or lisp not at allery!" was our battle cry, especially after doing 'De Bello Gallico' when we were really feeling our Threedom.
Blodwynn Griphyttyhh <blodfrom@stone.edu>
Llllandudnno, //, post hoc ergo propter hoc, Fri Aug 16 15:51:31 2002
i remember my latin lover antonio teaching me to roll with the r's and lisp my c's and then he would whisper in my ear the efart in espain is always to conestrain and then he would ask and where thata esmart a**e train and I would cry in spain again and again.
melanie <antymel@banderas.com>
, , , Fri Aug 16 13:25:38 2002
The Pedigree is the finishing move of the wrestler Triple H. Honestly, it's been staring you in the face all along...
The Knowledge <>
, , , Fri Aug 16 09:10:07 2002
In certain Hispanic social circles,JJ,(not necessarily of your keeping),to have a pedigree is to be able to demonstrate collective mastery over flatulence, thereby preventing "pedorreras" from becoming a continuing stream of the daily "rreas".
A.F. <cantabfellow@therange.com>
, , , Fri Aug 16 00:03:15 2002
Dear Bonnie, I upshuftied the 'gree' in the online Merriam-Webster inasmuch as I figured that I had the 'pedi' part covered, being 'foot' or similar, most of the year. I reproduce the upshot herewith and by:

Main Entry: 1gree

Pronunciation: 'grE

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French grE step,

degree, from Latin gradus -- more at GRADE

Date: 14th century

Scottish : MASTERY (q.v.)

whence, if we merge the Scottish 'mastery' with the Middle French 'step' solution as given and rejoin the result to 'pedi', we find that the ostensibly class-associated term, 'pedigree' actually refers - or referred - specifically to the 'mastery of steps of the foot' wherefore, seemingly, the 'pedigree' route to a solution of the real live meaning of 'class', when not talking of locomotives, of course, would throw up the version, 'one exhibiting such mastery', esp if Scottish or at the middle of French homework, being in short, 'Twinkletoes', there being one or two caveats in connexion with Medieval Dance. It thus becomes crystal-clear that the classy thing in them days was the 'Pas de Calais', or 'Calais Step', a form of 'To-Step', closely related to the peasant variant 'Gerroff', ealier "Ger'ov", through the German who made it famous at the Elizabethan court's 1582 Hanseatic conference celebrating the birth of the Hamburg nautical connexion and illustrating the Scottish commercial ascendancy prevalent at that time. Contemporary records mention a Thane McDonald. All this bears closely on our own very Scouseland heritage because, as it flagrantly blatant, dancing skill depended almost exlcusively on the suitability of the legs, particularly the direct foot-bearing parts, namely the lower leg bit. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to see, jumping out of the paper, that deftness of lower leg, the local 'mastery' of which is carved in Liverpool Football club history, was the ability to wield one's upper limb in a "Shankly" fashion.

I rest my portmanteau having hoped to clarify the obvious, namely, that, to have class, you have to come from Liverpool, or be married to one such, or have flown in an aeroplane of a model not undissimilar to those observable from Burbo Bank while cashing damp cheques.

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Dawning?, <<, Vendles, Thu Aug 15 22:03:49 2002


"Four legs good, two legs bad" - Honey The Orwellian dog
John Hodge <down@heel>
The doghouse, , Labrodor, Thu Aug 15 17:53:51 2002
Class? A matter of pedigree, surely? Woof!
Bonnie The Dog <>
c/o The Mayor, Burbo Bank, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Thu Aug 15 17:17:41 2002
All animals are equal but, on the farm, on the rink or in the bar, some are just that little bit more equal than others. Vive la diference!
spotter <stevenpotter@freudian.com>
, , , Thu Aug 15 16:31:32 2002
I do not believe that a "classless" society exists! As the western world appears to become a meritocracy, we replace the old social values with new ones, but society remains stratified, class-ridden, whether we like it or not.

Experience has taught me that the group that most believes in a "classless" society are those in the middle. The ones at the top and at the bottom know otherwise.

Or are racial minorities or aboriginal groups happy with their lot? I know the ones at the top are!

Incidentally, my anecdote was meant to illustrate the irony that a group of noisy, club-wielding yobs considered that they were superior to another group of noisy, club-wielding yobs. The fact that they were Canadian was (almost) incidental ;)
Bill <>
, Amsterdam, , Thu Aug 15 01:17:37 2002


Wow! There seems to be a tide running lads! I think class chat has to first make a difference between social class, often airs assumed unquestioningly by its victims (those practicing it), dubiously and by dint of a particular view of the validity of inherited privilege, and class class, a naturally occurring version of class assuming nothing at all but ex-oficio irradiating its immediate vicinity, being of the type that oozes from the pores of its possessors. If Canadians are classified as having no class, I am sure there'll be plenty on hand to decry that claim when there are, even statistically, oodles of them with all sortsa class and thank God for that. But that doesn't mean they accept social snook-c*****g as widely wielded, e'en with skill and practiced pretentiousness, by the perpetrators of whatever we choose to undertsand by the phrase 'class-ridden society'. Over time, the British have unremittingly retained the masters championship as pratcitioners of social class distinctions, often though not always, totally bereft of any classy style in doing so and revealing a lower plane of human nature in all its undeniably natural ugliness. For one of a zillion examples, look no further than Liverpool's infamous 'courts', residential facilities extant into the thirties, and unfit for animal habitation, let alone human housing. All known to and blind-eyed by more privileged local folk, "Because we're 'better', dammitall." In the same general context, I still remember the phrase, 'the criminal classes' common in my early years, that referred invariably to people who were members of the socially lower and untutored groups and which, by definition, removed any upperclass chappie from suspicion of being anything but honest, reliable and possibly, in the context, the worst curse of all: "respectable". For this to have come about, whilst recognising the opposition over time, it should not be forgotten that a fair part of the population had to go along with it ("Oh, yes, our Elsie knows 'er station, Ma'am"), otherwise there'd've been a successful revolution. How does all this boil down today: there's social class of one sort or another, to some degree or other, everywhere. Everyone has some more or less diffuse picture of the sort of fella that he/she doesn't want his daughter ot bring home, a personality facet possibly relatively faint today but which nevertheless constitutes some derivative of social class. But, according to my reading of the TCC posting dichotomy, the Canadians as a group, recognise the superficial trappings associated with social class distinctions, be they accent or recourse to airs and fanciness, for the rubbish they are. Fair enough. So would any sensible cove, chap, bloke, guy regular or other or lass, gel etc etc. That, however, is a far cry from condoning spitting, cursing and fighting in public, unless 'in public' is on the rink and generally accepted as part of the spectacle. But who would like to see their daughter walk in with a top-scoring player renowned for his spitting, fighting and cursing talents?

.. & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Not-So-Darkening as before but still not bright either, <<, Vendles, Wed Aug 14 23:04:47 2002


Yes Bill, I left my last sentence open as you discovered. To enlarge on that a little, Canadians, while most love the Queen and all that pomp and circumstance, have absolutely no time for the British snobbishness and the I'm-better-than-you type of attitude that still seems to exist over there. The La-de-da stuff has no place in Canada and Canadians are the first to let you know. In fact, those Canadian hockey players represent us all very well indeed. They compete, they spit, curse and fight in public - for which they do us all proud. Mammy and daddy don't need to have a silly title or speak posh to cut it here.
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Wed Aug 14 00:29:30 2002
Oh, Frank, your last sentence was such an open goal, I decided not to bother. So I'll tell of an incident in Amsterdam many moons ago.

Got into my local, which seemed to have been taken over by a bunch of big chaps in red and black checkered jackets and ditto kecks. They were extremely vociferous for the Crosbeians, for the Waterluvians, they were a gobby bunch.

On the way to the bar I asked one of the chaps if they were Americans. He denied this, explaining that, as a Canadian, he hated Yanks, and then proceeded to give the reasons. The last was the cutest; "and they're such loud-mouthed a******s!" And he was being serious.

Turned out they were an ice hockey team on tour, which I suppose explained everything...
Bill <>
, Amsterdam, , Tue Aug 13 22:14:14 2002


Hey Babs, I used to live in one of the new 'owses on St Michaels Road not far from your Manor Road school. People referred to us as posh snobs for moving from Waterloo to Crosby. Crosby in those days was called Debtor's Retreat". If you went to school in Crosby then you automatically qualify in the "Posh" category. Crosby people make an effort to talk posh too. None of the common Liverpool words like " Yer wa La " (Posh people say PARDON} or Giz us a tooerdem der, sis ( Posh people in Crosby would say " Please may I have two of those Bavarian Cream Buns). That's what I like about Canada, there's no class.
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Tue Aug 13 14:51:48 2002
Right on P.A.! You have let the cat out of the bag re BURBO. (Or more appropriately, the genie out of the bottle that was washed ashore). Sheikh Andy controls it all. The Oil, the Windpower, the Natural Gas, the Solar Energy, The Hydro Electric generating capability, the NEW TOURISM industry, the Rights of Passage. Burbo will become the new Colossus of Rhodes, The Middle East will relinquish fame to THE MIDDLE MERSEY.... Those golden sands, the simplest of souvenirs, the postcards, the rock candy....Think of the wealth! Who would have thought that such a treasure had laid in plain view all these years. Hail to our Emperor Sheikh Abdullah Andy......
frank in Misissauga <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, I say Toronto because Mississauga, is too difficult for you to pronounce, Tue Aug 13 01:30:07 2002
Right on P.A.! You have let the cat out of the bag re BURBO. (Or more appropriately, the genie out of the bottle that was washed ashore). Sheikh Andy controls it all. The Oil, the Windpower, the Natural Gas, the Solar Energy, The Hydro Electric generating capability, the NEW TOURISM industry, the Rights of Passage. Burbo will become the new Colossus of Rhodes, The Middle East will relinquish fame to THE MIDDLE MERSEY.... Those golden sands, the simplest of souvenirs, the postcards, the rock candy....Think of the wealth! Who would have thought that such a treasure had laid in plain view all these years. Hail to our Emperor Sheikh Abdullah Andy......
frank in Misissauga <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, I say Toronto because Mississauga, for you to pronounce, Tue Aug 13 01:29:18 2002
Given the state of internal commotion in these here parts and the need to hedge investments, now that the Burbo silt scam has been unveiled, maybe the Lord Mayor should follow up Frank of Mississauga's reminder of what could be beneath that golden facade. After all there could be natural gas, as well as excess wind, on your energy packed Great Bank.
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Mon Aug 12 20:22:16 2002
Serious at yours JJ, it may be, but " a state of internal commotion" has just been declared here, so try and beat that. Our peso, not being supported by any federally registered silt mines, is bobbing all over place making the futures market, in increased taxation with no representation, as good as sold.
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Mon Aug 12 20:04:42 2002
Dear Bill, I have a couple of questionlies regarding the foregone postly: first and foremost, where exactly does one take one's charabanc when one seeks to fill it with 'ex-Seafield' girls? If you can get back on that one, the rest don't matter.

The other, non-questionly details cover: 1) the terminology part: I am of those who figger that if you were once a Seafield girl, you never become an 'ex'. I am prepared to admit that, having been a Preseland Road passer-by and beneficiary of Crosby's 4.00pm shimmering glory of yesteryear, so naturally, elegantly and rheologically perfectly lighting up the skies and hearts of the Borough, my votes in this may be deemed less than impartial but, whatever, I'd've plumped for, "Once a Seafield girl, always a Seafield girl', just as 'a Merchants boy' or 'a Brown School boy' can readily denote fellas who went to those schools in what is now a previous century; and 2) the validity of the metaphysical underpinning for the argument that reuniting former pupils will per se of itself and inherently, per ipsum ut ad hoc non jubilattii carbunculiborum, create an everlasting pride and support for misspelled childrenly offspringlies. Or maybe I just feel that way because, seemingly by dint if a administrative oversight, they didn't get my invite off in the same post that goes to Holland.

Things here are getting serious. Again. On national telly yesterday, the president said very forcibly that magistrates of the top court of the land are being pressured by foreign conspirators: the court, he said must find(in a a key matter about the April 'coup d'etat', so called) for the government's thesis that there was a coup. It has twice found there wasn't on grounds of manifest lack of evidence. He pointed out that the 'pueblo' wouldn't stand for any other result and would take matters to the streets. No manipulation there at all. He's afraid because a 'non-coup coup' would mean that his departure on the 12th of April becomes an abandonment of post a situation tantamount, with or without a signed document, to a resigantion. There being no constitutional mechanism to 'unresign', he would suddenly be seen to be governing now in usurpation of power. I might add that he and his political cronies packed the court with handpicked lawyers (the main guy had to get a PhD fast. All of 6 weeks it took) in the first place. Caray! The attorney general has things well in hand, though, being well counselled: among his advisors is the Colombian defence lawyer for the IRA guys in a Bogota gaol for aiding the FARC to make better bombs. Weaher's lovely.

I am sure Manorly Roadles are wonderfull and, is thirty ones for a 5 courser, or slap-up dingle dongle, deemed a 'posh' do, not forgetting the Seafield importées?

I think Babs is right about the silt: a national monument rating of some sort, agreed on with the government of neigbouring Great Britain, among whose influential advisors there figures a, well - a Seafield Girl. Can summat not be outworked?

...& God Bless jj <jj>
The Darkening, <<, Lundi, Mon Aug 12 15:24:00 2002


I think the Mayor should stick a high priority preservation order on every single grain of buerbo silt. I wasn't a Seafield girl so no St Mary's renunion for me. (Us Manor Road tarts never got a look in on the posh do's!)
babs <bw@home.com>
Sandyport, , , Mon Aug 12 11:46:24 2002
Sorry to hog this spot, but I received something through the post this morning that urges me to communicate globally.

The last time St Mary's College wrote to me was to inform me of my 'O' Level results. 32 years later they have decided to write to me again with the urgent message "The school needs your help"

To "reunite former pupils creating an everlasting pride and support for the future of your children and their childrens (sic) children", they are holding a "super calendar of events" the first of which is on Friday 11 October at Formby Hall Golf Club. Tickets £30 for a 5 course dinner and a HALF bottle of wine. (Looks like they're -a registered charity - short of a few bob.

Unfortunately the letter contains several spelling and grammatical errors that put mine to shame. This will not do and the strap should be applied liberally.

However, if anyone wants to attend (and since this is the first time any official 'reunion' has been mentioned in 30 years at least) tickets can be ordered by cheque to the school (You know the address) payable to St Mary's Social Fund. Or telephone the school on GRE... er, I mean, +44 (0) 151 924 3926.

There's a 'disco' 10pm onwards, presumably with a coach load of ex-Sealfield girls brought in to make up the numbers. Sounds fun.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
, , , Mon Aug 12 09:44:27 2002


Of course Burbo silt is not for sale. It was just a scam...er a patriotic way to overvalue its real worth, so the share price would rocket and benefit the Bank of Burbo's meagrely stacked vaults.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btiternet.com>
Great Burbo, , , Mon Aug 12 07:53:28 2002
Dear Bill, I didn't see it like that at all: my first blush thoughts on seeing the siltily proposed proposal with the core phrase in the bit about silt being gone forever were, "Fair enough. If after (plenty of) all, all of which might turn up silt-sale veto grounds, it's to go, then get top buerbo for it because, unlike the railways and the air traffic control and so on, which are still there, ongoing sale of Burbo will quickly reduce it to below the low tide and bang goes the whole caboodle, kiboshed, done for." So the exorbitant pricing idea and enquiry on the proposed incoming funds final resting place do manage to achieve cogency. I thought. Still, unlike Siltily, I'd fight the sale on principle, tooth and brad, to the wire, wall, whatever. "Hands Off Burbo" placards all over Caracas. That's what I'd be after pressing for. SILT SALE VETO NOW! signs too. In the Moor Lane Stompers Wrag.

.... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Mon Aug 12 03:16:50 2002


Just a reminder and I don't mean to cause a sudden crash in the value of Burbo real estate holdings. ......But wasn't BURBO BANK on the receiving end of the old Crosby sewer pipe for many years? Who knows what lies under that golden facade.
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, We have beaches here too, And the usual pollution problems, Mon Aug 12 02:46:52 2002
Wow, my mother lives in Crosby and I have just been looking around to see whats setup for that little village I was brought up in, and guess what, I saw my old friend on that crosby cam thing walking back with the shopping!!! what a really good idea!, so does this mean we can spy on the other half doing the weekly shopping to sainsburys???
Mark Slater <markslattr004@interworldoneline.com>
Manchester, Manchester, UK, Mon Aug 12 00:44:58 2002
Dear Babs and Siltdown' I don't understand the fuss. The railways, water and leccy were sold off, as indeed were our beloved Mersey Docks and Harbour Board, telephones, national airlines and air traffic control, when we already owned them. Why shouldn't our beloved mayor do the same?

I have no doubt than when he doffs his Mayoral Chain, several large companies will find a place for him on their boards.

Failing that, a comfy chair in Brussels could be his lot. Advantage of that is his missus can be his P.A., his kids research assistants, and his dog a consultant.

When will they privatise the Gravy Trains, that's what I want to know?
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
, , , Sun Aug 11 23:45:13 2002


Babs: your windblown, de-energized, Hillside stuff will not be of the same quality as genuine, creamed from the top, Burbo silt. Furthermore, and to put a silver boot into the reds, your over the fence excavations will only raise further concern with brussel sprout conservationists: such are the problems of coastal erosion and loss of habitat quality through scrub encroachment by unqualified miners in any global silt rush. Remember the '49'ers and all that. Meanwhile,in order to carry this scam a little further, would the Lord Mayor kindly advise whose peso it is he is using for his market quotations and confirm that his Beurbos are fully backed by, or to, the silt; are rated Triple A by the appropriate agencies, as being equivalent to redeemable Treasury Silts, and have been until now as good as gold.
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Sun Aug 11 20:59:23 2002
Sorry but I'm not parting with my precious buerbos when I can jump over me back fence and get buckets of Hillside sand for free!
Babs <babs@homeagain.com>
Sandy Southport, , , Sun Aug 11 19:36:31 2002
ow... 9 buerbos.....with 100 pesos werth about a tanner in 1954/ today a price of 9 buerbos a pop is a giv away. if fie nally its desided to sell in spite of scare settee and stratty gic defens and ar speshal silt is to go ferever / we ort to get at leest a hundred smakkers a hundredwate and a littel industrial bukket with at leest 6 hundredwate would go for 6 hundred nikker or buerbo counter valyu. an let the cove bring his own lee gal buerbos aniway and not get into them pesos that natwest wont change. and there shud be somebod to sertify theres no ramses artifax in the silt / a feller to say the silts pure with nothin else in it that we mite hav sold better to a museem or egypped. siltdown le sands wud vote on a deal lyk that but no result forgon. an hey/ thers been no werd about wer the munnees goin yther.
siltdown mann <dripless@dawn.com>
Shoaly Parva, //, wessex, Sun Aug 11 16:43:11 2002
Burbo sand is a scarce resource (and therefore expensive) as we Burbo citizens need it to make sandbags to protect ourselves from noo attempts at "Regime Change" from oil hungry Blue Meanies. 10 Beurbos a bucket is ot too much to ask. (I'll take 9).
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Behind the sandbags, Great Burbo, , Sun Aug 11 07:56:57 2002
if burbos everibodies sand how can it get sold off if we have no policy for if we want to sell non renewable sand at nokdown money. thats whot i want to knoe. i mean ten beurbos for the littelest industrial bukket is still easy over half a ton for a measly thousand pesos. do barclays take pesos and can you get a pint for a peso. its time for a citizens meeting and somebodies got to bring a snapshot of a industrial bukket.
siltdown mann <dripless@dawn.com>
Shoaly Parva, <>, wessex, Sun Aug 11 00:02:16 2002
if burbos everibodies sand how can it get sold off if we have no policy for if we want to sell non renewable sand at nokdown money. thats whot i want to knoe. i mean ten beurbos for the littelest industrial bukket is still easy over half a ton for a measly thousand pesos. do barclays take pesos and can you get a pint for a peso. its time for a citizens meeting and somebodies got to bring a snapshot of a industrial bukket.
siltdown mann <dripless@dawn.com>
Shoaly Parva, ,..., wessex, Sun Aug 11 00:01:30 2002
A industrial bucket of Burbo silt? Oooh...scarce resource but, to you...10 Beurbos a bucket. (1 Beurbo = 100 pesos).
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Sand, sand everywhere - and all over Bonie's paws., , , Sat Aug 10 08:19:05 2002
The real Gregor MacGregor was never googlable. He kept wicket for England, long before Bosie's wierd legbreak, of Maori descent, made its first turn in from the off.
Kia Ora <downunder@waikikamukau.com>
, , , Sat Aug 10 00:58:21 2002
Dear P. Alb., These days, when even the good Sir Gregor McGregor is readily beGoogled, I had no problem finding him and seeing that, loyal and true, he was no shame to Celtanery(as 'chicanery' but with Kilarney lilt), where both the innovatory and 'breadth of vision and conceptual capacity' play a large and characateristic part. I see he had offspring. On a first blush basis, I wouldn't be after worrying overly were my granddaughter to bring some descendant of his home to the hearth, as long as he wasn't in the roller coasters and circus business that is. Go Celts! I see he had a good run for his money, dying here in Caracas, as an acknowledged independance hero, in 1845. He must have had the chat to wangle that lot, wouldn't you have opined?

in a different vein, given the the prevailing TCC ambiance, still well within the penumbra of the Burbo turbo's discussion, I cannot pass on without observing admiringly that that tossed-over-the-shoulder-btw-before-I-forget enquiry about acquisition of some 'Burbo' action in the 'current' market was a stroke of genius. A sort of humourly 'raisin d'être', as it were.

Now to this newspaper or rag and the ad hoc TCC monnikering committee: in the tradition of not losing a faithfully transmitted vision of the past, the lively social relief achieved by rags (and rampant in the 'Waterloo' piece on this channel) in the early years of last century and the movement of calling them after street addresses, as "The Twelfth Street Rag" and as acknowledgement of Scott Joplin's contribution to Crosby's past, I suggest a groundbreaking name such as "The Moor Lane Stompers' Rag" as illustrating a naming philosophy, all with a view to arriving at a finalised re-Crosbied Herald that we all will come to know and love, inter alia, 'cos it'll be online. I add no more except to mention that there may well be a case, aimed at a spot of cachet, for writing "Rag" as "Wrag", to kind of, well, set it apart, I'd've figgered, there. Myself, I'd go for it.

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <, Vendredi, Fri Aug 9 19:49:05 2002


J.J. methinks you'll need more than lovely weather, authentic mangoes, on your street riots, marching women's kitchen pan bands, etc., to attract poverty stricken quizees to sunny, humming bird ridden Caracas. Do you know, BTW, the story of young Gregor MacGregor, Commandant-General of Cavalry to Simón B. in the revolutionary army of Venezuela and New Granada? His Serene Highness, Gregor the First, Sovereign Prince of the State of Poyais and its Dependencies, and Cacique of the Poyer Nation, had so much more to offer than beer, skittles and humming birds. In the anti climax of peace he left Venezuela and eventually set sail for the old country where he offered, over the counter, and at 4 shillings an acre, a paradise, a perpetual summer, majestic mountains, rivers that flowed over sands of gold and precious stones to be picked up like gravel in plantations of sugar, coffee, cotton and indigo. In short the English equivalent of Eldorado. Check Greg out locally in Big C's national library, if it still has one. Greg's name is probably still honoured in the rolls of the Venezuelan Army for he was the master of deception, similar in so many ways to your present Prez. He actually succeeded in floating, on the stockmarkets of London and gay Paree, his dream State of Poyais, (a sort of nineteenth century Burbobank off the Mosquito Coast of the Caribbean). As the ditty of the day went:" The bulk of my property is on the high sea, one bound to England, another to Tripoli; a sixth, by the way, I consigned t'other day to Sir Gregor MacGregor, Cacique of Poyais, a country where silver's as common as clay!" Now what do you really have to offer a village where Xmas is everlasting and there never,never was a New Year ? There is of course no moral to Greg's story but his achievements can perhaps be emulated on present day Latinamerican markets, diverting flight capital to TCC's dream. Can the Mayor advise the current market price per industrial bucket of Burbo silt?
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Fri Aug 9 18:12:01 2002
I find the name for a weekly rag 'The Crosby Algenon' most applicable. And as it is not my real name the liability problems are greatly reduced. What say you 'arold on your 'orse with your 'ork in your 'and?
M.Wardman <algenon66@yahoo.com>
New York, New York, Oh! America., Fri Aug 9 17:18:57 2002
dear mayor, that will certainly help to distinguish the rag from the hastings harold. what about the never so good had it harold or any other harolds? time to be stand up and be counted, harold(s)! what is short for harold if its not harry? if a mesenger were called harold, would that be a herald harold or a harold herald? if the name harold brings so much trouble, you can see why some girls are called finnnuala and why parents dont call offspring telegraph or bild zeitung anymore too. there has to be burbo-mileage of some importance in this. where are those earnest posters?

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, Caracas, Vendredi, Fri Aug 9 14:55:43 2002


As long as we can get the actor who plays Harold Bishop to come over and be its new editor, so we can have a picture of him looking dissaprovingly over the 'Look Who's in Court' section.
The Ghost of Madge <>
, , , Thu Aug 8 09:07:26 2002
By civil decree, I hereby declare that from now on the local rag...er newspaper will be known as 'The Crosby Harold'
Mayor of Great Burbo <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
, , , Thu Aug 8 07:51:32 2002
Dear Pov', You should come anyway just to see whether it's your fancy, thusly to provide a stronger motive for winning those damn quiz things. I mean, if it were to turn out that sunny humming bird-ridden Caracas wasn't your cup of tea, what would be the point of flogging your guts out in the first place? Apart from the miñionairable heartle-throbbly feeling, of course?

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <, Vendles, Thu Aug 8 00:51:51 2002


A steward's enquiry awaits upon the L**chstenstein question - the Guardian of the Quiz is, above all, a man of integrity. This week's quiz was, though, beyond the bounds of any mere mortal's ken, thus Caracaswards is as long a way off as, well, Caracas.

Happy days, Crosby Channel! And yes, it is always Christmas in the Crosby, Harold, because as a local newspaper, it needs something to cover.
Poverty Stricken <>
, , , Thu Aug 8 00:25:42 2002


Dear Pov', Old sock, you'll be more than welcome here. I am upshuftying the fancier diners for the occasion and, just so's not to spoil the Burbo-dory for a ha'porth of tar, I have today contracted to rent out a tie too! Let me know your flight number so as to dotcom you into our local airport using 'thetrip.com' where there's this cool flight tracker allowing one not to get to the airport only to find the plane's running two hours late.

That crosbycam thing is quite something isn't it? Still, I do think that, if they, a channel called 'Crosbycam', are to keep the momentum going, they're gonna have to get more cams active. I have looked at the current shot several times and particularly found it cute that you can see Crosby's local time right there: an entirely new approach to 'real time' to all us offshorers toiling under Eastern Standard, Venezuelan Legal (ours) or other such rubbish,..... but there is a quickly reached limit of just how many times one can beneficially contemplate the one village shot.

Dear Andy, How can we be sure they are not last year's Christmas lights?

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <, Vendles, Wed Aug 7 21:40:34 2002


It's Christmas every day in Crosby, Harold. Hic!
Lord Mayor of Great Burbo <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
, , , Wed Aug 7 18:44:11 2002
Anyone from Crosby area going to Protoras/Aiyanapa area of Cyprus fancy doing me a small favour? Its a matter of cheap jewellery and young love...Could be a nice bottle of wine in it for you...... Email me if you think you could help, Cheers.
Carla Burns <Cjb4@aol.com>
Crosby, Liverpool, England, Wed Aug 7 17:21:51 2002
Just tried out the Crosby cam as recommended. Good to see that Crosby has got its Xmas decorations up already.
harold <>
Manchester, , , Wed Aug 7 13:43:48 2002
Speaking of sad gits...

Subject to how we're spelling L**chtenstein this week, if victory is claimed 'gainst the Guardian of the Quiz, I'll be over to Caracas in shot. Or a plane.

Fare well!
Poverty Stricken <>
, , , Tue Aug 6 23:36:42 2002


I do it daily, John. I hope one day to see me mum doing her shopping! The handy thing is that, when I've finished, I can click on the TCC logo and come straight here ;)

Actually I sound like a sad git when I re-read this. But then, I am...
Bill <>
, Amsterdam, , Tue Aug 6 19:27:30 2002


You want to try out that www.crosbycam.com , I was looking at it today and seeing the village and people walking past the camera live is really good. I also went on the chat room and speaking to other people from my old Crosby town was a good afternoon well spent!
John Taylor <jtaylor01@btinternet.com>
Ontorio, Toronto, Canada, Mon Aug 5 23:51:06 2002
Vince Warrington St Bedes 77 Glenn Foster has a shop down St Johns Rd Waterloo. Don't know about 'Froggy' Mike Francis. When do you go abroad? Enjoy your time and call me when you get back. Does anyone know what happened to SUE Garner, a southern girl who moved to the north in 75 or thereabouts. If anyone else remembers me it would be interesting to hear from you. Ged Campbell St Bedes 71/ 77
Ged Campbell <Judit@gerard.freeserve.co.uk>
Ramsgate, , , Sat Aug 3 22:38:45 2002
Vince Warrington St Bedes 77 Glenn Foster has a shop down St Johns Rd Waterloo. Don't know about 'Froggy' Mike Francis. When do you go abroad? Enjoy your time and call me when you get back. Does anyone know what happened to SUE Garner, a southern girl who moved to the north in 75 or thereabouts. If anyone else remembers me it would be interesting to hear from you. Ged Campbell St Bedes 71/ 77
Ged Campbell <Judit@gerard.freeserve.co.uk>
Ramsgate, , , Sat Aug 3 22:38:15 2002
Vince Warrington St Bedes 77 Glenn Foster has a shop down St Johns Rd Waterloo. Don't know about 'Froggy' Mike Francis. When do you go abroad? Enjoy your time and call me when you get back. Does anyone know what happened to Sharon Garner, a southern girl who moved to the north in 75 or thereabouts. If anyone else remembers me it would be interesting to hear from you. Ged Campbell St Bedes 71/ 77
Ged Campbell <Judit@gerard.freeserve.co.uk>
Ramsgate, , , Sat Aug 3 22:37:00 2002
Vince Warrington St Bedes 77 Glenn Foster has a shop down St Johns Rd Waterloo. Don't know about 'Froggy' Mike Francis. When do you go abroad? Enjoy your time and call me when you get back. Does anyone know what happened to Sharon Garner, a southern girl who moved to the north in 75 or thereabouts. If anyone else remembers me it would be interesting to hear from you. Ged Campbell St Bedes 71/ 77
Ged Campbell <Judit@gerard.freeserve.co.uk>
Ramsgate, , , Sat Aug 3 22:36:29 2002
Sorry to miss out on st Bedes reunion class of 77 !!! However, intent to visit in Sep 02 when I return from Kosovo, if any one knows Mick Francis or Glen Foster get them to give us a shout. Vince Warrington
Vince warrington <thevincester@lineone.net>
Kettering, northants, UK, Sat Aug 3 13:50:47 2002
On behalf of my uncle, Frank Ellison, I am trying to trace his war time best friend – John Thompson (possibly W. Thompson) who originated from Bootle. John was about 15 years old in 1940 when he served as a galley boy on the RMS Rangitane with Frank. The ship was torpedoed in the Pacific and they were incarcerated in the Milag Nord POW camp in Germany until the end of the war. Frank would be so pleased if he could make contact with John again and any help would be appreciated.
Trevor BelL <thebells@btinternet.com>
Castleton, Hope Valley, UK, Sat Aug 3 10:15:53 2002
HI Im really glad you have responded to me it was really nice to hear from you guys. So far I have know luck you are the only one so far told me that you went to Brownmore land school. My dad will be surprised. How was your trip to Canada with your son? oh by the way I was not sure what was a lass till my dad told me. have you guys ever been here? to Chicago. the heat has been extremenly hot. your weather is usually what in the 60(degrees) you should be hear. well try to write back stay in contact.
Kim Smith <Sunshine 4789>
Oakforest, chicago, united states, Sat Aug 3 03:16:39 2002
For the update obsessed, you may all like to know that, now we are apprised by government intelligence and a remarkably instantaneous investigation TV-ed to all, that the culprits of the civil strife, wounded policemen, heavy-shot-holed police water wagon(a lightly armed unit, to boot) and suchlike were no other than the police themselves who apparently upset unarmed government loyalists, who stumbled on 50cal military weapons in the nick of time and spontaneously repsonded to what has been, straighfacédly termed 'undemocratic patrolling' (the cops were ambushed). The police are being held reponsible for maliciously defending themselves against unprovoked attack with heavy weapons. That'll teach them and anyone else out there who's who!

The weather's lovely though and PovStruck, by the way, don't let these lead-laced wrangles put you off: there's virtually no waiting time in the restaurants and the prices - though it's on me, of course - prices are very reasonable. Ever tried South American T-bone?

.. & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <, Vendredi, Fri Aug 2 20:37:17 2002


Pon my word! I say chaps. I mean, after all! I can take the statelet quizbee, Liech or Lich and who cares anyway, and the like but this is getting positively cosmopolitan, or is it '....tain'. Never could spell you know. Never.
Witheringly K. Smythe IX <palfret@major.eu>
Palfret Parva, //, Mine's the estate car, Fri Aug 2 20:15:29 2002
...and she replied, exhaling the stale odour of a bedside Pielroja : " Dime de lo que presumes y te dire de lo que careces". The Nobelist was not willing to develop more enigmatic variations on his initial, "dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres" theme. He had failed to realize, in the crescendo of his passion, that the company he kept was the measure of who he was.
P.A. <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Fri Aug 2 17:48:28 2002
It being the topic, I throw out a quote from Nobelist Gabriel García Marquéz: "Te quiero no por quien eres, sino por quien soy cuando estoy contigo." First quizee close to writely gets a signed photo of an authentic mango, them being what's in season just now.

Just so you realise it isn't all beer, skittles and humming birds for us Caraqueños, not far from whence I transmit, the Tupamaro urban guerillas, here agents of the sitting government, are firing on the police, including the police helicopter.

& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <, Vendleby Parva, Fri Aug 2 15:23:43 2002


Well PS, on the basis of the facts narrated, you did crack the quiz but the quizmaster just wasn't up to snuff, that's all. The ninety-five smackers payout would merely have constituted some formal recognition for purposes possibly of community acknowlegment or some such, an utter triviality to the true 'Burbo-blue' quizee. So congratulations anyway and get that heart of yours into millionaire mien. Just to show willing, the Caracas open lunch date stands, even for Sundays. I alaways recommend KLM, who have 6 non-stop flights a week to Caracas. Please schedule your itinerary details such as to allow time for purchase of some aged Dutch cheese at Schipol, btw. FYI, the flight's 8 to 9 hours depending on whether you come first class or economy.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <, Vendles, Fri Aug 2 15:11:38 2002


Commiserations, P.S. I am familiar with the feeling. I once entered the prelims for a television quiz, and aced the general knowledge tests. The producer congratulated me on having the highest score they'd ever had - and then broke my heart by telling me I knew TOO much, and they couldn't use me in the programme. Apparently, on t.v. as in real life, nobody likes a smartarse!

I suggest you take a copy of "Pears Cyclopedaedia" next time you enter a (Pub) quiz. It's the best one-volume encyclopaedia I've ever come across.

In the meantime, console yourself with the fact that YOU know you won.
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
, Amsterdam, , Fri Aug 2 14:41:04 2002


JJ - I would have felt like a millionaire in my heart. Cracking THE hardest quiz in Crosby. It would almost have meant more than the money.

Bill - yep, the little state, not the bloke. Although, the guardian of the quiz seemed to be spelling it as though the bloke. How are you supposed to contend with that?

BUT-

the important thing is... we all had fun.
Poverty Stricken <>
, , , Thu Aug 1 22:54:45 2002


Of course, the question itself is what decides the spelling. If the question involved the European statelet, then the "e" is compulsory. If, on the other hand, it involved the iconic pop-art painter whose work hung on many a wall in the sixties, then the "e" is superfluous.

demand a recount!
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
, Amsterdam, , Thu Aug 1 19:13:09 2002


Dear Poverty Stricken, I was moved to tears by your plight but far more so by your closing over-the-shoulder blockbuster, I quote, "£95 prize money down the drain. With that, we could have been millionaires." I would like you to tell me exactly how that bit works to which end, I am putting my private e-addie on TCC. Anything beyond half a million niccar and you're on for lunch whenever you're in Caracas. Even Sundays.

.. & God Bless
jj <jakelly@telcel.net.ve>
The Darkening, +, Vendles, Thu Aug 1 15:43:20 2002


Dear Witherly, As one semanto-topographically challenged but longish on dentures, it struck me that, on the assumption the cliffs in question are the Dover Whitelies, then, unless there is is a base-location requirement bearing on the 'them' term, the applicability depends entirely on whether you're on the island or not. As baldly stated, any group can be a 'them', regardless of real identity since your declaration, were it read straightforwardly in France or Paraguay would doom all fully-paid-up resident Crosbyites to a 'them' status - singularly 'thim' or 'ther', btw - in the twinkle of a Pimms No2 Cup. Whilst fully appreciating the admirable simplicity of a world of 'Thems' beyond the cliffable border, are we somehow anyway bedeeming Brit residents (but not foreign-born longterm visitors or foreign or dual passport holders or their families, out to the eighth cousin) to be an 'Us' or a 'Them Others', a distinct danger dammit, neither unimportant nor disappearingly small?
Term Limitations <ortho@graph-fee.biz>
Calais is graven on me 'eart, <>, But I'm basically from Liverpule, Thu Aug 1 15:31:10 2002
The point, then, I would most strongly wish to impress, is that, beyond all reasonable doubt, and based on the evidence and opinions given on TCC, L**chtenstein has the letter 'E' somewhere near the beginning. £95 prize money down the drain. With that, we could have been millionaires.
Poverty Stricken <>
, , , Thu Aug 1 15:15:38 2002
The Liechtenstein matter weighs heavilier than at first blush may seem to be its weightiness: as principal -- and let's not forget that Liechtenstein is a principality -- as principal pushers for a sovereign Burbo régime and jurisdictabilty, we TTC'ers should see that administrative slips in the Euro-zone could unexpectedly leave us Burbo-bereft entirely. Look momentarily at the potential confusion of, for instance, Birbo, Berbo, Bairbo, Baerbo, Bae'bow and myriad alternative options. We'd be gumtreed before you could say 'Parsley Untended Can Become An Obstreperosity In Minutes'. Or Jack Robinson. My currently prevailing viewpoint as personally expressed in my own wordles at this pointly in time is to ask the beGooglable originators, namely, the Principality's own, availbale at http://www.liechtenstein.li/lisite/html/liechtenstein/index.jsp?treeId=ZALFAK_de_DE&topicId=0 at which URL they consistently use the same spelling, being 'Liechtenstein', and carefully document the name's, and by extension its spelling, and their associated longstanding groundedness in history. That should settle things: any "non 'Liechtenstein'" variant is an dastardly imposter, in all probability updreamed by a tax shelterer's daughter seeking revenge on a capitalistically overfocussed dad before GretnaGreening it with a low-cost kit financially availabled at the Ladder&Rung pub on Commutation Row.


CoolSpellLuke <xylophones@20.biz>
Crosby, To, The Quore, Thu Aug 1 15:03:16 2002


Don't lose any sleep over the spelling. You might however start by using the correct pronunciation of the French word LIEUTENANT. How do they get LEFTENANT out of that? Refuse to be brainwashed.
frank <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Thu Aug 1 05:08:45 2002
The usual collective term for those beyond the cliffs is THEM - spelt with an 'E'. w.k.s.
Witheringly K. Smythe II <Bluddyforeigners@the gates.con>
Bog-Na-Regis, , , Thu Aug 1 02:40:58 2002
We believe we have been cheated in a certain pub quiz. How, pray tell, does one go about spelling Leichtenstein/Lichtenstein/Liechtenstein correctly? We do not believe there is a clear, undisputed answer, as a swift search on Google will testify. Anyone any ideas?
It's got an E? <>
, , , Thu Aug 1 00:20:50 2002
Hi Kim,I know Brownmoor Lane,and I went to Forefield Lane School,but as I am a lot older than your Dad, I can't be of much help I am afraid.Maybe if you sent a letter via e-mail to the local paper,The Crosby Herald,you might have more success. And as you are only in your 40s you have every chance of visiting the UK.At the moment I am typing this in Canada,visiting my son.and I am in my 60s..........so you have plenty of time to save those dollars!! Hope you have some luck..... Nanna-Barb
Nanna_Barb <babs1940@blueyonder.co,uk>
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, Mon Jul 29 03:43:40 2002
Dear Kim, I almost overlooked your message but still, it's good to see folk that folk were delighted to come to Crosby from the Windy and generate unforgettable memories. I, myself an early Brownmoorian of no fixed ability, am sure that anyone who may have known your Dad will come through though as always, it's a long shot. I hope it reaps something there for you. Let me also observe too that, at 45, you still have lotsa time aloft yet before God issues His landing instructions to you, so you never know, Lass, maybe you'll make it again after all!.

Dear Jacobo, One never knows with these guerilla flavoured announcements whether it's really them, Comandante Zero of happy memory, the Joyjoy Monkey or other suchable. Or some faceticle of their putative budding opposition. As a card-carrying member of the combined revolutionary forces, albeit an undercover splinter-group offshoot engaged in the struggle for the betterment of tropical marijuana-for-medical-purposes growers - an unwellied and selfless column of like minded fighters for peace and liberty - I would add my voice to the ringing tones of hope in the Mayor's forthright refusal to be forced into a denial or confirmation of rumours to the contrary and would push for this as an ongoing policy. From our jungle vantage point, I would further propose such policy be translated, in motto form, into Latin, in order to achieve an air of verisimilitude. Or respectability. Or something. Today, at this point in time on the globality scene.

And so to the NittilyGrittilies: Our group is revolutionarily nonplussed at there not having been any mention made to the non-mutual exclusivity option, namely, that of approval of the two turbine projects, being both the German one, feeding bilinigual Euro-leccy into our pure national griddle, Aarhhh..., and the C-Scapeled amperibles one, voltaically accessing the same griddibule, consolidating someone's victory over prejudice and expensive hair-dryer power. And stuff.

This whole episode reflects too the continuing inoperability of the MoD's 'stick-in-muddle' tumour. The real revolution will get nowhere if the opposition spends time engaging the exclusive services of a series of public servants, collectively categorisable as "Dr. No!". Exactly which sort of low flying Jihad Junk luanched from which secret 'whence' is conceivably likely to edge up, supposedly disguised - Ho,Ho,Ho - as wind turbine electro-eddies until the very last minute, only to appear in righteous fervour 10 miles offshore and come tooling accross the bay at a high rate of knottles is beyond us, tireless indefatigables as we are, especially if the same certificable certainty stops short and, shifting gear in mid-puff, entirely fails to appreciate the advantage of edging up behind an identical set of C-Scapulated turbinicals, much closer on the Great Burbo. This comparative proximity would also reduce the 'howling' phase to be painted on the weapons' lateral sides, to terrify the dingle-dongles out of early dory-borne fishermen or birds. In all fairness, however, truth be told, the latest editions of 'Radar for Revolutionaries' always arrive late here at our firmset-weathered-features headquarters, with bath, just so Mr. Sureshot of Maruly fame doesn't think we can't carry a yellow towel just as revolutionarily as he. Him. They do. Or whatever.

A Hasta Luego, Siempre Hacia La Vista De Las QuintiLampi, Y La Calle Victoria et dernier mais ne pas le moinibus, Nihil Carborundum to all.
Comandante Cough Mixture <Mantenezlecalme@onestfoutu.edu>
San Juan Am Main, .<>, Colcostamarua, Sun Jul 28 21:25:41 2002


I once wrote before asking if any one new my dad he was from brownmore land? and also went to farefield school? I to went to England when I was about 16 years old Im know in my 40ths. I still remenber alot I really loved being there it was so differnt. there would be so much to say.i would not know where to start. I would love to hear from you Kim
Kim Smith <Sunshine4789@aol.com>
Oakforest, Chicago IlL., United States, Sun Jul 28 20:33:51 2002
I once wrote before asking if any one new my dad he was from brownmore land? and also went to farefield school? I to went to England when I was about 16 years old Im know in my 40ths. I still remenber alot I really loved being there it was so differnt. there would be so much to say.i would not know where to start. I would love to hear from you Kim
Kim Smith <Sunshine4789@aol.com>
Oakforest, Chicago IlL., United States, Sun Jul 28 20:26:38 2002
I once wrote before asking if any one new my dad he was from brownmore land? and also went to farefield school? I to went to England when I was about 16 years old Im know in my 40ths. I still remenber alot I really loved being there it was so differnt. there would be so much to say.i would not know where to start. I would love to hear from you Kim
Kim Smith <Sunshine4789@aol.com>
Oakforest, Chicago IlL., United States, Sun Jul 28 20:26:07 2002
I once wrote before asking if any one new my dad he was from brownmore land? and also went to farefield school? I to went to England when I was about 16 years old Im know in my 40ths. I still remenber alot I really loved being there it was so differnt. there would be so much to say.i would not know where to start. I would love to hear from you Kim
Kim Smith <Sunshine 4789@aol.com>
Oakforest, Chicago IlL., United States, Sun Jul 28 20:20:28 2002
I once wrote before asking if any one new my dad he was from brownmore land? and also went to farefield school? I to went to England when I was about 16 years old Im know in my 40ths. I still remenber alot I really loved being there it was so differnt. there would be so much to say.i would not know where to start. I would love to hear from you Kim
Kim Smith <Sunshine 4789@aol.com>
Oakforest, Chicago IlL., United States, Sun Jul 28 20:20:27 2002
I once wrote before asking if any one new my dad he was from brownmore land? and also went to farefield school? I to went to England when I was about 16 years old Im know in my 40ths. I still remenber alot I really loved being there it was so differnt. there would be so much to say.i would not know where to start. I would love to hear from you Kim
Kim Smith <Sunshine 4789@aol.com>
Oakforest, Chicago IlL., United States, Sun Jul 28 20:19:47 2002
I had wrote before and I was just wondering if any one out there seen my message if they new my dad he was from brownmore and went to farefield school? and if so I would love to hear from you. I also to visted England when I was 16 years old and I still remenber it very well I loved being there I not that old I will be 45 soon probally never get the chance to ever go back. would not be in my budget but would love to hear from you out there. I still remenber all the brick road and how close the houses were, and the pub I was in and at the time thought I was the greates at that time and the dark beer I was able to drink I think It was laguar and also your cig how strong they were. love to hear from you.
Kim Smith <Sunshine4789@aol.com>
Oakforest, chicago, United states, Sun Jul 28 20:02:10 2002
I had wrote before and I was just wondering if any one out there seen my message if they new my dad he was from brownmore and went to farefield school? and if so I would love to hear from you. I also to visted England when I was 16 years old and I still remenber it very well I loved being there I not that old I will be 45 soon probally never get the chance to ever go back. would not be in my budget but would love to hear from you out there. I still remenber all the brick road and how close the houses were, and the pub I was in and at the time thought I was the greates at that time and the dark beer I was able to drink I think It was laguar and also your cig how strong they were. love to hear from you.
Kim Smith <Sunshine4789@aol.com>
Oakforest, chicago, United states, Sun Jul 28 20:02:10 2002
I had wrote before and I was just wondering if any one out there seen my message if they new my dad he was from brownmore and went to farefield school? and if so I would love to hear from you. I also to visted England when I was 16 years old and I still remenber it very well I loved being there I not that old I will be 45 soon probally never get the chance to ever go back. would not be in my budget but would love to hear from you out there. I still remenber all the brick road and how close the houses were, and the pub I was in and at the time thought I was the greates at that time and the dark beer I was able to drink I think It was laguar and also your cig how strong they were. love to hear from you.
Kim Smith <Sunshine4789@aol.com>
Oakforest, chicago, United states, Sun Jul 28 19:55:33 2002
As is usual in matters of Sandbank security, I can neither confirm or deny such reports. Fetch, Bonnie!
Andy Melia <>
Mayor, , , Sun Jul 28 08:43:23 2002
Colombia's green revolutionary forces, in conjunction with the darker oil spawned Bolivarian Movement, note with great concern that the U.K., Ministry of Defence, has objected, on security grounds, to planning applications, made by German based Energie-Kontor, to build 76 wind turbines, 10km off the coast near Southport. Fears that foreign windfarms, established in national territorial waters, might damage once vital, indigenous radar defence systems, such as those buried deep in the heart of Sniggery Woods, are in the context of the modern global village completely unfounded and just another fascist fabrication. Moreover and whatever, the combined revolutionary forces are, however, very pleased to note, even although they regret the underlying principle of nationalism and fascist favouritism, that plans, developed by the U.K. based Seascape Energy, to build 30 wind turbines, off the Great Burbo Bank in Blundellsands, are not yet affected by MoD's objections. If this is true, they ask, who is to be congratulated for exercising influence in the right places and for keeping alive the hope of clean, cheap, efficient energy to fuel the Great Bank's future environmental and economic prosperity: the Mayor of Great Burbo Bank, or Bonnie and friend, or all three of them ?
Jacobo Arenas Q.E.P.D. <jacob@thesands>
, , , Sat Jul 27 20:24:41 2002
The first time I heard "Liddypool" was in John Lennon's first book "In His Own Write" but maybe it is older than that. In the book you'll also find some local references such as 'Nude Brighter' (New Brighton) 'Shout Airborne' (Speke Airport) and the immortal "Fazackerley" used in place of "Exactly" On a NYC note, maybe Algy and Phizzynot will find a suitable venue for a future Manhattan/Crosby "reunion"?
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Crudsby, , , Sat Jul 27 07:46:52 2002
Quite. In fact, quite quite.

Liddypool sounds like Diddymen stuff to me.

I rather liked the sight of cheap, silent, eco-clean energy being harvested, all a testimony to elegant engineering, some Liverpool engendered. What could be more natural than the best of both worlds, harmony with nature, electrically pumped creation coming out of your water tap. All natural beauty isn't of necessity bereft of human input. Revolving reflexions for a rainy season Friday afternoon. Here, anyway.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <<, Vendredi, Fri Jul 26 22:00:52 2002


Hello Avid board posters,readers,lurkers,and off by chancers,PC users or the other lot,Apple max core,two things,where and when did the term liddypool come into existance,ive heard it mentioned from an American email chum,ive heard of Liddlepool after the LFC player,me dad said he was great,but i wasnt around then,Liddypool?

the other thing iam mentioning,(it,s ok to mention things on message boards)? : ),the wind farm,it was scraped i said it was no good a while ago when i was here last,the wind would get slashed by the blades,and they havent done anything,just minding their own buisness over Burbo,the next thing swished by giant swords of power wanting and need,the reason why they where not allowed was (imo)the Ministry of Defence said the low flying jets (RAF) might crash into them,with the September 11th terror attack,the Airforce will be doing more low-flying, maybe there right to pull the plug on it,plus if you was a pilot of a fast jet,would you want giant blades in your way,the wind farms look horrible,the ones in Cornwall spoilt the view for me,driving over the rise in the road,saw those ugly monsters standing there,wishing away,i wasnt close enough to hear them,but i can imagine they make a horrible noise,i for one am glad their not to be....or are they.fearless
fearless6.05 <fearless605@hotmail.com>
Crosby, Liverpool, England, Fri Jul 26 20:30:03 2002


Andy - I believe (from a pal of mine - a scouser who lives down here) that Van Morrison also put in a stunning performance at the same venue a few days earlier.
Phizynot <aph.uk@_no spam_virgin.net>
Down South somewhere..., , , Fri Jul 26 18:43:33 2002
Yes, I've booked the tickets, Algy; I just have to decide when to buy the dollars at the most favourable rate (and being financially illiterate, this is a decision beyond my competence).
Phizynot <aph.uk@_no spam_virgin.net>
Down South somewhere..., , , Fri Jul 26 18:40:32 2002
Correct Andy! Paul Simon is in fact one of my biggest (and smallest) customers of my infamous elixier....algOmite. He apparently soaks his guitar strings in a watered down version for an extra twang. Apart from him spreading it lavishly on his bread with assurances from me that it will make him grow at least 6 inches in as many months.And what about a CC (not mother and child) reunion on my little island, Manhattan. I'm sure I could get Paul (Simon not Macca) to come along. With the Buerbo doing so well against our faltering Dollar you would all be rich! Tony, do you have your tickets yet? luv ya, Algenon.
M.Wardman. <algenon66@yahoo.com>
New York, New York, USA., Fri Jul 26 15:49:54 2002
Maybe Paulie ddidn't want to steal John's thunder Andy??? I've seen piccies of both these events on a Southport website. I personally thought a carnival float parading an effigy of Lennon, A NYC cop and tumbling skyscrapers to be in pretty bad taste.
Babs <>
Southport, , , Fri Jul 26 08:43:01 2002
Now that's interesting. Today Her Maj officially opened Liddypool John Lennon Airport in the presence of Yoko Ono. And then, surprise surprise, Mr McCartney is in town waiting for queenie to turn up at the Walker Art Gallery to see HIS art exhibition. So why wasn't Paulie at his old mate's airport opening when he was only a few miles away?? On another piqued-pop-star-rivalry note, a particular pleasure was visiting the Albert Dock arena last night where New York's finest, Paul Simon, kindly popped in to sing a few tunes. Touching to see the 50-somethings in their Marks & Spencer finest get into the groove like wild teenagers. El maestro himself was wonderful - must be on a daily dose of algOmite. "And the people bowed and prayed, to the neon god they made..."
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
On a musical note, , , Thu Jul 25 14:04:27 2002
Mr. Mayor: Would love to join you on your pastoral visit to Amsterdam, alas, I doubt if the budget of P.R.B-L-S. would stretch that far. As El Presidente, perhaps I could vote myself a travel allowance? Someone on the steam radio has just said that Her Maj is at The Walker Art Gallery. Funny that, I could have sworn I saw Queen J in the vicinity of St. John's Road>
John Hodge <john@plazacinema.org.uk>
People's Republic of Brighton- Le-Sandss, , , Thu Jul 25 11:43:12 2002
When I was a kid we called it the TIP. To the posh people in Blundellsands that was probably too common a word for them. Hence the reference EROSION. But it was still someplace to dump the slag from the ironworks and it served a purpose.
Frank <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , The Pope is arriving here today, Tue Jul 23 15:15:03 2002
Ah yes,the Coast Erosion, the place where the houses slipped into the sea,many years ago.Where the ghosts of those who have passed over,wander the beach,in search of the CCs next meeting.Spirits looking for spirits (Whisky,Vodka,Gin,they don't care!)So.................. who is coming to the next meeting? Babs( from Southport)and I are going to meet,who else?
Babs1940 <maybesomeday@crosby>
Crosby, Liverpool(where else?), UK, Tue Jul 23 06:17:11 2002
That's interesting news, John. It transpires that the appearance of the "Sex on Burbo Bank" coctail is the result of an unfortunate translation failure between Crosbyscouse and Burboese.

You see, a tailoring franchise has recently opened on The Great Bank selling quality gentlemens' trousers. The franchise is rather aptly called "KECKS on Burbo Bank:" Obviously Stamps Bistro has sadly been misinformed.

However, it does give me an idea on how to breathe new life into the rather squalid Burbo red light district.

Should the proposed Crosby/Amsterdam event happen, I may be able to get some tips from the rather racy streets of the Dutch capital about how to capitalise on our sandbank's vice potential. Mrs Andy is looking forward to the trip already. Being a legal consultant to the mayoral office (as well as an enthusiastic supporter of women's career advancement), she has heard that there is a great deal of female soliciting in that wonderful city.

All we need now (whilst Stelios's prices are low) is expressions of interest from TCCers and a suggested date from Bill.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Kecks appeal, baby, , , Mon Jul 22 17:52:20 2002


For the timid zephyr caressed not shaken , for the bold wind chilled not iced. Served sifted through silt at burble point with a sprig of prickly bur. Why panic?
spotter <stevenpotter@freudian.com>
, , , Mon Jul 22 17:25:13 2002
Mr Mayor, item on Stamps' cocktail menu: "Sex on Burbo Bank", should I start a moral panic? Please advise. Hey Babs, I'm glad it's not just me that still calls it "The Erosions" And while I'm muckin'abaht, I'd like to give a little credit to Scottish cycling whizz kid David Millar for winning Saturday's stage in Le Tour. Nice one Davy Boy.
John Hodge <john@plazacinema.co.uk>
People's Republic of Brighton- Le-Sandss, , , Mon Jul 22 13:31:27 2002
I certainly hope it will be a group visit. Why not suggest a (weeked) date Bill, and see who's up for Amsterdam?
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinteret.com>
, , , Mon Jul 22 07:48:08 2002
Looks like an easy question.
Branston P.R. <flynow@paylater.com>
Dresden, <>, <>, Mon Jul 22 03:05:50 2002
Since I'll be here all winter, I'll be available to provide "Mayoral Reception Facilities" at (virtually) any time of the season. Mind you, I did think it was going to be a group visit.

Will you be coming in the official Leer Jet? (no, the spelling's fine, John!)
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
, Amsterdam, , Mon Jul 22 01:12:50 2002


Parsley Island returned to its goats.... http://news.independent.co.uk/europe/story.jsp?story=316896
Babs <still@here.net>
S'port, , , Sun Jul 21 19:25:14 2002
All this Burbo talk is making me homesick - going for a walk on the Erosion on Wednesday...
Babs <me@home>
Southport, , , Sun Jul 21 19:05:20 2002
No Bill: Brooke 2 was a orifice-talking free zone. However, October is a little difficult pour moi, so may I suggest a fog-bound-Burbo mini winter escape break to your charismatic city in say, November or December?
Andy Melia <>
Burbo Red Light District, , , Sun Jul 21 15:24:32 2002
Tony, I hope to get the keys to my new apartment next week, so I'll be spending August moving in, getting settled and just generally learning to be independent again. I don't think my finances will cover a trip to the Pool in the next few months.

And of course, I shall be laying the foundations for the TCC First Annual Outing to Amsterdam, assuming His Worship is still interested, and wasn't just talking out of his orifice.
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
, Amsterdam, , Sun Jul 21 14:16:13 2002


It is not common knowledge but the great Burbo is actually twinned with Parsley Island. In fact, so strategically valuable is the said sandbank, that the oil-hungry Toxic Texan even offered me a wad of backhand Beurbos to use our sovereign territory as a staging post for the forthcoming "Iraq Attack" coming to a TV screen near you shortly (18 certificate). He was surprised that I actually said 'No'.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Mayor, , , Sun Jul 21 08:48:29 2002
Andy, better take a look through your binoculars as I feel that this fellow YAWN may have already invaded the BURBO BANK. Like the pirate radio stations of old, he probably has ideas about setting up a pirate internet station offshore somewhere. BURBO would of course be the ideal spot. C'mon YAWN, if you are reading this posting then you have broken your promise to stay away for three years..
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
Toronto, Ontario, We are being invaded by the WORLD YOUTH, Sun Jul 21 03:37:31 2002
Well Bill, that certainly puts a new spin on 'star turn' and will doubtless cure somewhat Yawn's mirth dirth(sic). Unusual too that a mature board posting chappie fellow is so familiar with preschool word forms.

Whatever: I think there's a danger of underestimating the weight of Uncle Frank's previous post: is Burbo on anybody's invasion list? Is the Mayor in possession of an updated Arabian Marrige schedule? Or this year's list of Irish-Welsh-Scottish Celtic Eisteddffford-c*m-PU fixtures? Are any bagpipe factories celebrating their centenaries? In a word: is the Burbo Security (sic) office sufficiently well funded and up to snuff; are the operatives fully trained, or in the jargon, 'Slice Current'? Has anyone told Bonnie that GRrrr only has 3 r's, notwithsatnding her/his impressive typing performance? In this uncertain day and age, regardless of Bonnie's achievements, not excluding an ongoingly notable Cheri symbiosis, there are noses to be stoneground and breaches to be into-ed before we can say that Burbo's potential disprupters will be duly convinced that any proto-incursion will be on-the-spotted-ly repelled with all, well ---- courteous promptness, shall we say. But first things first: know your opposition! Who are those parties potentially interested in Burbo occupation with subsequent sovereignty claims? Who out there is Crosby-jealous -- or even, perish the thought -- would deem us but a stepping stone to ill-perceivedly "greater things". How are the Mayor and his counterintelligence staff to prepare if the threat is uncharacterised?

.....& Go
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Sat'dy, Sun Jul 21 00:59:47 2002


Bill - Are you coming over for the annual Beatles bash in August?
Phizynot <aph.uk@_no spam_virgin.net>
Down ***** somewhere..., , , Sat Jul 20 23:38:45 2002
Of course, what friend Yawn doesn't know is that, thanks to Claire's Net Nanny, I can't tell any of my more racy adventures here in Sodom and Begorrah, so it ain't MY fault the Notice Board's boring.

If I was allowed to say things like "****", or "****" or even "********* with a huge ***** hanging out of her ****** while I was ********* it", things here would be so much more inciting, and there would be a dirth of yawners.

But I can't, so tough *******.
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
, Amsterdam, , Sat Jul 20 22:18:34 2002


Can the Mayor of Burbo assure us that the Famous Bank is secure from the attentions of The Parsley Pickers. Thank you.
Uncle Frank <>
Crosby, , , Sat Jul 20 20:00:18 2002
GRrrrr...
Bonnie The Dog <>
, , , Sat Jul 20 17:56:39 2002
If folk don't like what they read on this or any other message board why don't they just go elsewhere? ( I could be more specific but it would probably be deleted.)Alternatively, go start your own message board and talk to yourself...............
Babs <not@yawning>
Southport, , , Sat Jul 20 11:55:10 2002
People who complain to this or any other board in the fashion of our Mr/Ms Yawn, usually have two things in common. 1. They don’t leave a valid email address. 2. They seem to think that the notice board is for their passive entertainment only, in that they complain of poor content without (apparently) submitting any of their own. This is regrettable, because people who quite obviously have strong feelings about the role of a public notice board ought to be the very ones able to play a constructive part in its life.
Phizynot <aph.uk@_no spam_virgin.net>
Down South somewhere..., , , Sat Jul 20 10:42:49 2002
Jesus H. Chreeist, Three years later and the same boring people are talking about the same boring things using preschool prattle. This location should be called the Crosby Channel for people with no lives and arrested development. see you all in another three years. Yawn
Yawn <bor@rng>
anywherebuthere, , , Sat Jul 20 01:55:23 2002
Way to come back Lance Armstrong! Climb every mountain ! Used to own a Made in Coventry Armstrong bike. Never could get it up any hill or bring it down any mountain.
spotter <stevenpotter@freudian.com>
, , , Thu Jul 18 17:55:03 2002
Hi John, Glad to hear that you are into Subbuteo. My nephew Phil Redman is a world champ at that game and a fellow Scouser, naturally. He was over here in Ontario recently competing in a big tournament....As for Billy Liddell, I went to several games prior to leaving for Canada in 1956. I do remember him playing right wing as number 11. But with his talent, he could play any position with ease. He was amazing. He could run, kick, outplay the defence and score. I remember the routine on Saturday mornings. Hop the train at Blundellsands and Crosby to SandHills station. Board the waiting bus with all the dock workers and stay with them to make sure that I sat in the right section of the stadium. Tell you, those pubs along Scotland Road did good business after a winning game. Proof positive that Liverpudlians are probably the friendliest people in the world or at least on par with the Newfoundlanders!
Frank <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Tue Jul 16 00:39:01 2002
7, 9, or 11, what did it matter so long as the shirt was red and on the back of the great one. He was some centre forward also. The Second Division Liverpool team that beat First Division Everton 4-0 at Goodison in the F.A. Cup on Jan 29th 1955 had him at No. 9. He scored, of course, and splayed passes all over the park. I could have danced all night! Read Merseymouth's Dunce's Kop for a brief account of his last game and reference to the explosive power of his left boot.
Seeing Red <annefield@lobbyist.com>
, , , Mon Jul 15 16:22:59 2002
Ah but John (not wishing to steal Frank's thunder here), the great Billy could play almost anywhere. He did (I'm 99% certain) wear No 11, but he was picked as left wing, right wing, and even centre forward on a pretty regular basis. This must have been confusing for defences :-)
Phizynot` <aph.uk@_no-spam_virgin.net>
Down South somewhere these days..., , , Mon Jul 15 16:21:03 2002
Framk in Toronto: forgive me for being pedantic, but I alwats thought that right wingers wore the number 7 shirt.
john hodge (manager FA XI Subbuteo team c 1962) <boyspen@thekopend>
, , , Mon Jul 15 14:45:21 2002
Sorry Babs. I thought that nana_barb might have brought you over here just so's you could see what we are takling about. HELLO nana_barb if you are reading this. WELCOME TO CANADA, the home of TIM HORTON'S coffee. Don't for get to pick up a can of coffee for Babs and also a couple of genuine Tim Horton paper cups. Or, I can lend you my vacuum flask if you want.
frank <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Mon Jul 15 13:57:12 2002
Frank - it's nana-barb thats off to savour the delights of Tom Horton. This Babs/Barb is however becoming seriously seduced by all the talk of the said gents beanz. So much so i am now considering Canada as a holiday destination for next year! Black jacks, fruit salad, Fry's fiveboys, penny arrow bars....Hazelwoods on me bike......be in Crosby a week wednesday - Satterthaites here I come" Babs <bw@nostalgia.com>
Southport, , , Sun Jul 14 18:14:44 2002


Bill, Babs will be enjoying our famous TIM HORTON'S coffee and donuts for the next couple of weeks so her opinions would be dollars to donuts. Andy on the other hand could easily be swayed into exchanging the Billy Liddell magazine for a fresh Satterthwaites Bavarian Cream Slice regardless of the exchange value. Perhaps this is what Johnny has in mind. My comment is that the Bavarian cream slice would be all the more enjoyable if eaten with a good hot TIM HORTON'S coffee to sip on. Only in Canada.................
Frank <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, The POPE will be here in a couple of weeks, So will about 250,000 World Youth visitors, Sun Jul 14 17:31:39 2002
what is everyone talking about? the magazine is over forty years old. it has likely been read already. i'll give you a tanner and think yourself lucky!
johnny macbrown <downmexico@way/org>
el paso, //, weld blundell, Sun Jul 14 12:03:32 2002
Frank, we could work it out like this: in 1959, one penny would get you four mojos, black jacks or fruit salads. If Andy, Babs or any of the others living in the Borough would whip into their local purveyor of children's sweetmeats and confirm the present price of the aforementioned delicacies, we have a conversion table.

Failing that, a bar of "Fry's Five Boys" cost thruppence.
Bill <>
, Amsterdam, , Sun Jul 14 11:21:40 2002


Andy, that price of 1/6 converted to new pence and then to euros next to US dollars and then to Canadian dollars multiplied by the value of 1/6 then to what 1/6 would be worth today plus your profit plus tax plus shipping handling and insurance is unfortunately beyond my comprehension. Would you settle for a pint?
frank <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, Home of the multi-millionaire hockey players, , Sat Jul 13 20:10:43 2002
I have a copy of Charles Buchan's "Football Monthly" from August 1959. Price 1/6. Billy Liddell is on the front cover. Offers please: monies will be donated to the Burbo Preservation Fund.
Andy Melia <>
, , , Sat Jul 13 16:30:42 2002
Billy Liddell right wing Number 11. The likes of him playing alongside Heskey and Owen and the Brazilians wouldn't have the world cup.
frank <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, We call it soccer because the Americans tell us to, , Sat Jul 13 04:47:16 2002
Suppose I asked for that didn't I folks???*!!??
Babs <not@footiefan.com>
S'port, , , Fri Jul 12 22:40:45 2002
Babs: From: "Liverpool Top Scorers"

1950 Billy Liddell 18

1951 Billy Liddell 15

1952 Billy Liddell 19

1953 Billy Liddell 13

1954 Louis Bimpson/Jack Smith 13

1955 Billy Liddell 30

1956 Billy Liddell 28

1957 Billy Liddell 21

1958 Billy Liddell 24


scousescorers <shots@goal.edu>
Paflret Major, ....., Oldies But Goodies, Fri Jul 12 21:18:12 2002


babs. lots more in google and more including photo with casey in hand at http://myliverpoolfc.org/liddell.htm

billy liddell died twelve months ago.

both on the field and off it, billy liddell lived up to the very highest of standards and was an example and inspiration to all. A supreme athlete, he was one of the most complete players of his day and to many seasoned observers is still the greatest performer anfield has seen.

away from the game he did a vast amount of voluntary work for local boys' clubs and after his retirement he became a magistrate, a lay preacher and bursar of liverpool Uuiversity. The selflessness and sense of duty that guided his life outside football was as central to his approach as his vocation itself, and he was never anything less than a model proffesional.

It was his misfortune that, for the greater part of his two decades at anfield, there were too few other players of his ability at the club. The most modest of men, liddell would deny that he was forced to carry the team by himself for long periods of his career, but the fact that his side was universally known by the nickname "liddellpool" provides the most telling measure of his influence.(From "liverpool's greatest players" by david walmsley)


johnny macbrown <downmexico@way.org>
el paso, --, weld blundell, Fri Jul 12 21:06:49 2002


wooz billy liddle????
Babs <ere@home>
Southport, , , Fri Jul 12 20:39:40 2002
babs ---- some fellas swapped their holsters for a casey or ciggy cards of billy liddel ----
gene autry <downmexico@way.org>
el paso, ---, weld blundell, Fri Jul 12 15:43:33 2002
As usual, there was no film in my camera.
Phizynot <aph.uk@_no-spam_virgin.net>
Down South somewhere these days..., , , Fri Jul 12 09:35:04 2002
Now we're talking low tech here. My "snaps" were taken under the affluence of incohol and will be developed when I've used up the roll of film. Quality cannot be guaranteed I'm afraid. They will the be published on the crosby contact club site in due course. Hic.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
, , , Fri Jul 12 07:55:34 2002
Well I'm hoping Andy got a piccie of my old playmate John Smith - wondering if he still wears a holster.........- Hiawatha
Babs <cowies@injunz.com>
Southport, , , Thu Jul 11 20:44:25 2002
Would Andy please give a list of those who attended the annual bash at The Brook Hotel a short while ago. Is there to be a photographic record as per last year?
Uncle Frank <>
Crosby, , , Thu Jul 11 20:05:12 2002
So be it Andy. Your pronouncement to keep the Burbo area as sanctuary of silence indeed makes sense. Oh, what a pleasure it is to take that early morning stroll along the seashore. T'is a pleasant experience being able to listen to the breaking waves along with the occasional squawking from the seagulls. Now, should anyone have one of those "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper stickers on their car, kindly remove same if you plan on driving in the Crosby area.
Frank <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, On Lake Ontario, In sight of our friend Salty, Thu Jul 11 15:51:55 2002
The Stage Right Theatre Company is hlding auditions for a forthcoming version of Macbeth, taking place at Chesterfield High School, Crosby. This will take the form of a three day workshop, for 14-17 year olds, culminating in a public performance on the evening of the third day.

Auditions for this project are being held at the Seaforth Information Network Group's Community Resource Centre, 53 Cambridge Road (behind the Adult Education Centre), Waterloo, on Wednesday 17th July 2002. Contact stageright@post.com
C. Fittock, Stage Right <stageright@post.com>
Waterloo, , , Thu Jul 11 09:04:10 2002


Steady on, Andy old sock! You speak of the Jumbos we love! But anyway, I feel there's little prospect of "Jumbos over Burbo" unless 'at a great height' inasmuch as there must be some play left for the Woodvale operations. Also, as I recollect, passenger jets normally descend roughly at about 1000 footlies per mile: how far is the nearest BavSlicery from the threshhold of Liverpool's SpekeJohnLennonNorthWestFlightNodeAeroDromeRedDusterPlace? (And, btw, have you heard of Garston-based complaints?) It's quite a ways in thousands of footlies per mylibus. In addition to which and furtherlie, the aircraft usually are quite quiet in descent, it being at full power on takeofferton that the row can get impressive, though far less so today with the very respectable noise footprints achieved in modern powerplants. At climb rates exceeding 2500 footlies per minubule, you'll have no noisilic problem with take-offers either. And, for all that nontrouble, you'll have a fairly good view, with byknockers, of contemplating our export sales tigers as they whirl off into the (often but not always) blue, turbo-impelled westward by ever more efficient turbines continually and elegantly reaffirming our engineers' power development graphs and calculations, to plant the LiverBird flag and conquer more farflung markets in the name of LIverpool, Lancashire and the NorthWest! Lordy! Does it get any better? At this rate, CrosFormberlie property values will be skyrocketing!

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, MidWeek, Wed Jul 10 16:16:36 2002


Interesting suggestion Frank. However, our peace-loving citizens certainly don't want loads of jumbos banking over the Great Burbo - the noise pollution can be enjoyed exclusively by the Mancunias.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Keep Burbo Quiet, , , Wed Jul 10 07:51:33 2002
One more shot about the Airport over there. To us colonials, Liverpool Airport by what ever name the politicians choose, is insignifant or non-existant to us. When I want to visit Crosby, I have a choice of flights to the UK, none of which go to Liverpool. It's either Manchester, Cardiff, Heathrow, Stanstead, Glasgow, anywhere but Liverpool. So what good has it done in changing the name? None that I can see. And yes, JJ, SPEKEING about LIVERPOOL'S JOHN LENNON Airport, it CAN handle the big ones. It did handle the CONCORDE on one occasion that I remember so if it can handle that it can handle anything. If Liverpool wants to attract the Beatles fans then make an effort to attract the planes first. What about helicopter or hovercraft service to the BURBO BANK Andy?
frank <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Tue Jul 9 22:29:05 2002
I bet you've never heard of J. S. Woodsworth, have you? Well, neither had I until a minute or so ago: he was a famous Canadian social reformer and advocate for the workers. The chap referred to in my aforegoing post though, was of course Bill Wordsworth, writ wrong. Sorry an' all.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Stag o' Din, Tue Jul 9 15:16:20 2002


Dear John of Bootle, I don't think for a moment that the previous post was in the 'as long as the Americans are happy' or the 'rolled over to assume recommended stance' vein at all at all. I do think it raises an innovatory approach to naming local points of potential touristic interest though. I remember years ago that Elizabeth Taylor was asked about the scandalously high amount, $1,000,000 she was to get for appearing in a 1963 film called 'Cleopatra'. The fee raised much 'Dreadfull', 'GoodLord!' and suchlike comments. Betty's answer to the questioning reporter was "If they are daft enough to pay me $1,000,000, I am not daft enough to turn it down". So too, Paul Jones in the Palisades underlines a detail untreated by the rest of us, namely, if the name of your airport actually helps toward increasing revenue from one of the major contributors to that revenue, then it is valid to look at the naming procedure in that light and, in the Pacific Palisade poster's view, to stick to the Lennon option in the case at hand thus to facilitate the option of people being able to arrive at "Liverpool, John Lennon". So, if anyone, and that even includes Americans, is irrationally (i.e. daft enough) more willing to part with his holiday shekels to go via a Beatlely named airport, then are we daft enough not to allow him to sign cheques in our favour? Gertcha!

"BUT", I hear you cry, "BUT" - Ah! there's always a 'but' - " But how valid is the proposal that the name of the airport will so influence anyone, and that even inludes Americans?" Well, now you're talkin'! Because the question about the airport is but a special case of Mr.Paul Jones's greater and elegantly hued question plant on TCC, namely, should the perception that tourist, or indeed foreign or local investment income opportunities are influenced by the names of sites of interest in a given locality be a determining factor or even a factor in naming said sites of local interest? Now there's a thing! And the possibilties are myriad: what would one call the Albert Dock? Ought we to graft a spot of the classic onto Crosby's "QuintiLampi"? This is virgin territory, requiring cutting at the gorsey undergrowth to edge forward but I am sure we are up to it!

The second question raised by Paul's post is the possibilty of arriving at John Lennon at al at all, in his terms, 'as opposed to Manchester'. From Eurolocations, it's easy as we have seen from Bill's notably fecund post of yesterweek. But does our airport have facilities to take transatlantic, i.e. longhaul flights, with their long runway requirements and people administration capacity? Well, I don't know. Maybe some other poster does and could enlighten us. The other, associated, detail that crops up there is the 'Manchester as an alternative' view: now, in the light of the huge expense and planning complications of lengthening existing runways and laying new ones, why should we in the northwest continue to barney - 'your airport over mine' - between ourselves, only to benefit the rest of the country, notably, the southeast? I favour the merging of our two major airports, by means of a high-speed surface rail link between John Lennon and M/C(Ringway?) to create a NorthWest Regional Flight Centre for all longhaul flights, relieving some pressure at M/C and opening the possibilty that, together, we could improve our global validity as a well-served business and tourist centre, boasting all facilties and outstanding links to the region, the midlands and Scotland: Catch that between yer teeth, southeast!

Well just a few reflexions on Paul Jones's adroit focus, possibly owing to his specially privileged vantage point, living in a locality full of those very Americans who, we hope, will soon be upqueuing for tickets to the "England's Heartland, the Fascinating NorthWest, Dripping History, Throbbing Culture and a Step From Woodsworth's Front Door!"

... & God Bless

P.S.: Andy, I tried the Satters site and the BavSlice page is still 'under construction'! Arrgh!
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Stag o'Din, Tue Jul 9 14:59:41 2002


Joy unto the world! Having just demolished a most exquisite Bavarian Slice (well, partly shared with Bonnie the dog) from Satterthwaites of Great Crosby, I am delighted to inform that said purveryor of fine home-made fayre now has a website. Check out their tirade on pork pies - a joy to behold. Go drool...www.satterth.co.uk
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Burbo Bank, twinned with Bavarian Slice, , Tue Jul 9 12:34:20 2002
Oh, well as long as the Americans are happy. I suggest the dog underneath Cherie Blair rolls over to symbolise our recommended stance. But on another note: can anybody tell my why, when I click on links sometimes, a File Download Box appears? I've spent about five minutes clicking on the link for the guestbook, but it wouldn't let me in!
John <>
Bootle, , , Tue Jul 9 09:45:50 2002
The Yanks love the Beatles keep the name of Liverpool's airport - John Lennon Airport it makes economic sense and brings touri$m cash into the Pool yeah yeah yeah! Get into the 21 Century heavy industry in the N.W. is gone tourism is in. To get more overseas tourists we need a direct link to the outside World which is not via Manchester or London where most visiting Beatles fans think the Beatles story begins and ends in Abbey Road. Expansion of 'John Lennon Airport' is needed to enable this to happen if the name change helps create new jobs it's a positive move for the area of Merseyside which will benefit in the long run.
Paul Jones <>
Pacific Palisades, LA, USA, Mon Jul 8 21:47:57 2002
...but the dog does seem to be coping well,......
Fido <howmuchisthat@thewindowshop.edu>
Burbospan, ,,, Houndsville, Mon Jul 8 21:29:20 2002
Salty I know all about the edification that used to be available at Southport Tech - gained some of it myself! At least the woman in red isn't grinning!
babs <>
, S'port, , Mon Jul 8 21:00:27 2002
Dear John, Many thanks for the Wylie cultural backdrop. It has, mind you, served to highlight my cultural ignorance, an ignorance much upbeefed by internet access. Once upon a time, lack of access to recherché stuff, the letters of Polycarp to Petrarch's mum's dogwalker, for instance, was neither here nor there. Now, internet access opens up virtually, ahem, unlimited access to all manner of stuffle meaning, collaterally, so to speak, that I am unaware of a whole lot more than I was previously unaware, thereby rendering me orders of magnitude ignoranter than beforehand.

In this same vein, in matters Crosbyan, culpable ignorance of 'how it was, like, y'know' has now grown somehwat because of an interesting site upon which I stumbled recently, namely http://www.sunnyfields.freeserve.co.uk/crosby/ where the old Ribble bus depot, ownership of shops, a couple of oil paintings (my own particular fancy) and other village stuff covering 1946-1970 was available. Shufti it up!

I see the airport nomeclaturical sub-comitteee hasn't finalised it indubitably arduous task at the time of going to press. Maybe it would be better to start by sounding out the feeling for dropping the current Lennon option. Who's for and who's not? I am for dropping it myself, in favour of anotherly focussed name as yet undecided, as opposed to a simple return to 'Liverpool Airport' for reasons priorly forthset and, whilst acknowledging validity of others' ideas, my own vote still favours the historically flavoured 'Red Duster'.

For all you Venezuela watchers out there, btw, a mega-march of protest against the government is programmed for this Thursday. It has been billed as the 'definitive march' and, in internet invites, we are told of how peaceful it will be, as against the April 11th march when 18 Venezuelans were murdered on the street on national tv. These same invites, however, go on to details of how to minimise the effects of tear gas and very especially the need for a vinegar-soaked handkerchief to be placed over the nose for that purpose. The weather is lovely despite the rainy season being in full swing; fact is, as rainy seasons go this one hasn't yet lived up to its predecessors' hard won reputation. And our currency, the 'Bolívar' has trundled down a devaluatory path to the tune of only 78% this year, quite an exciting ride in its way but, let me empahsise, it's not all beer and skittles here in this neck of the tropics!

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Monday, Mon Jul 8 15:46:22 2002


Maybe Wood Vale will be next. What if it were renamed Bessie Braddock International? Do you think the RAF would go along with that? Nooooooooooo
frank <cfjm3@hotmail.com>
, , Canada, Mon Jul 8 15:31:58 2002
J.J. Point of information. Pete Wylie is a Liverpool singer/songwriter with many hits to his name often under the several incarnations of Wah! eg: Wah! Heat, Sambeko Say Wah!, The Mighty Wah! & just plain (if anything about Pete could ever be said to be plain) Pete Wylie. Better Scream, Story of the Blues, Sinful, Hope and Heart Big as Liverpool are just some of the songs in Pete's impressive back catalogue. I first encountered him in 1980 when he played at the last night of Eric's club supporting The Psychedelic Furs, he's always been someone that I've got on with extremely well and he's probably on ther best form of his career. His first guitar was given to him by Mick Jones of The Clash, it originally the property of one David Bowie. He may not be a household name to many people, and whilst I may have been joking when I suggest re-naming the airport after him, he is someone that has made an exceptional contribution to the city's musical heritage. His house in Aigburth is called Disgraceland! By the way, on the subject of music and airports, there's an indie band called Idlewild, which was also the title of an elpee by Everything But The Girl.
John Hodge <john@plazacinema.co.uk>
, , Peoples' Republic of Brighton le Sands, Mon Jul 8 12:04:42 2002
But, while asrrking questions - do we really, really, still need to be a-salted by "THAT WOMEN IN RED" - (stroking that poor dogs bottom) every time we log on?

not of a reader of the star - Salty.
Salty <>
Any, , , Sun Jul 7 23:44:56 2002


Babs, & how could a young fellow who got most of his edification at that fine Southport tech be rude, but then some arrsk if de poppa's a catlick. Or, as in Canada - "Do bears p*o in the woods?"
Salty <>
, St.CathArines, , Sun Jul 7 20:44:01 2002
"doing THEIR quick draw, Clint Eastwood style". Now I know. It's not me but my computer that can't spell.Sombody complain to Bill Gates please.
Frank Again <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Sun Jul 7 15:57:42 2002
I'm glad that I'm not the only one who can't spell,Babs. I entered Maltom which should read MaltoN. Now the planes will get lost for sure and it'll all be my fault. Gee, I can see Brother Francis or Brother Murray, my old St. Mary's teachers doing theit quick draw, Clint Eastwood style.
Frank <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Sun Jul 7 15:52:35 2002
Musuc???? must remember to check spelling !
babs <>
, spellport, , Sun Jul 7 15:07:13 2002
Dunno wot's wrong with plain old Liverpool Airport meself.The city does not need to rely on the names of famous folk dead or alive. Surely the likes of Lennon would rather be remebered for the musuc etc than as a landed strip for planes........Salty - yer not being rude I hope???
Babs <raise@abovethesmut.com>
Southport, , , Sun Jul 7 15:05:45 2002
Toronto's airport is in the former village of Maltom, on the outskirts of Toronto. AVRO used to build planes here including the famous AVRO ARROW, a project which was scrapped by the former Diefenbaker government. It was proudly known to all of Canada as MALTON AIRPORT. So, if you happened to be flying to Toronto you would obviously fly into MALTON. If you happened to be visiting Toronto from the UK, your travel agent would naturally make sure that you flew on a plane going to MALTON. So what happens to us? Our LIBERAL government decides that the name MALTON is inappropriate so they change the name, and name the airport after one of them. The Liberal government, especially the late Prime Minister Trudeau and his lot, have made one heck of a mess of this country and the re-naming of our major internatinal airport is just one small reminder of the sad legacy that they will leave behind. The sad thing is Andy, that SPEKE will never get the chance to play against MALTON in the 2114 World Cup because neither of them exist anymore...
frank <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, Some people just call us YYZ, , Sun Jul 7 02:18:05 2002
While I am still for 'Red Duster', alone, un 'airport'-ed, I think old Richard has the most coherent argument, and, even though this is hardly a time for symbolic half measures, there is a case for claiming semiotics is what this is all about. Are we on about coherence of argumentation though, or initial impact and how it sounds without the 'airport' attached, as in "They're due at Ringway in two hours", "We arrive at Aldergrove in ten minutes; for local time, put your watches back 200 years", ""We were the last out of Idlewild before the the snowstorm", "There's always good cheese the Schipol duty-free"; you get my drift. None of the aforesaid would work on the 'Liverpool Airport' naming approach. So, whilst appreciating Richard's solid logic, I feel we ought still to sound the outerer reaches and harness off-the-wall and serendippity to render, beyond the attractive but admittedly rearlooking 'Red Duster', a name for the age, not forgetting our pastles but placing us four-square in the cultural, semiotic and smoking, as "She's a-smokin' now!", vanguard. Besides, I have no idea who Pete Wylie is. Just how out-of-touch does that make me?

... & God Bless jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Stag o' Sam, Sat Jul 6 23:31:11 2002


Anymroad oop, they should rename it Pete Wylie Airport
john hodge <@eric's>
, , , Sat Jul 6 19:35:14 2002
Not too sure about Burbo-Speke Airport, Frank. But you've given me a great idea for a joint bid for the 2114 World Cup.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinteret.com>
Civic Pride, Sun, sea and sandbanks, , Sat Jul 6 08:35:34 2002
Babs, Maybe because it doesn't raise to a suitable altitude, in the mornings.
Salty <>
, , Over there!, Fri Jul 5 22:09:39 2002
I meant to say hi on that one....... hi.....
Babs <still@here.net>
southport, , , Fri Jul 5 21:47:38 2002
Wot's wrong with dirk???
babs <bw@home.com>
southport, , , Fri Jul 5 21:46:24 2002
OK, OK, Richard
Salty <>
, , The big one, Fri Jul 5 13:25:51 2002
I'm with D**k
Salty <>
, Tim Hortons & Dognut Capital of de werld, , Fri Jul 5 13:20:40 2002
Why don't we just call it Liverpool Airport? The consonance in John Lennon Airport doesn't really trip off the tongue as easily. It's an airport. It's in Liverpool. And if we assume that the Beatles are a sign for Liverpool, and Liverpool is a sign for the Beatles, then marketing genius would be to leave it as Liverpool Airport, because it means the same thing, semiotically speaking, and look what happens when you change Marathon to Snickers, Opal Fruits to (ugh) Starburst, and Royal Mail to Consignia (to... er, Royal Mail again). Happy days, friends!
Richard <>
Waterloo, , , Fri Jul 5 09:59:22 2002
To speak the word SPEKE. That one word will surely identify the speaker as soon as he or she opens their gob. All those unique guttural/nasal/common sounds are brought into play in pronouncing the word SPEKE. One has to revert to either Blundellsands or BBC English when speaking about the JOHN LENNON airport. NO, NO, this will not do. SPEKE is SPEKE. Why don't we build a runway on our BURBO BANK and call it BURBO-SPEKE Airport, or, BS for short?
Frank <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Fri Jul 5 03:02:21 2002
Part II of "Dear Bill" The Four were also young guys and, as all young guys, made their dreadful mistakes. Did they leave Liverpool as soon as possible - or go to wider, artier pastures, advised and pressured by other, ostensibly more experienced, musical operators? Or, like so many, simply want to see beyond the horizon, waving our scouse banners while they were at it? As for John Lennon's settling out of town, well, with 147,484 smackers a week comin' in and an arty orientation, would you or any energetic forty-year old still forging a career opt to live in New York or off Moor Lane, behind the Northern cricket club? All TCC offshorers are far from home for some reason or other. I have been waving a flag for the Pool for 38 years but don't make a make-or-break connexion between love for it and living there when my particular circumstances brought me here.

No, I think the Beatles owe a great deal to Liverpool - as one born 253 yards from Penny Lane and a bona fide contributor to the ambiance subsequently embodied in a sizeable bank account, I feel proud, albeit shortchanged - but the upshot of it all is that Liverpool is now on more peoples' cultural maps than it would otherwise have been and the Beatles symbiosis did us no harm at al at all....

So what should we call the Airport then? What do we seek when seeking a name for a Municipal Airport? Given the chance, would I go for 'John Lennon' again, as opposed to the name of a noble Spitfire pilot hauling his roaring MkIX off a Speke runway into a tearing climbing turn to port under full boost? I think we ought finally to move on, leaving our heroes in peace but unforgotten and gratefully and respectfully build our best efforts on the freedom they purchased for us making something that, had they survived they would be glad to wave at saying: "Them's our lads doin' that, y'know!". My Liverpool Airport could bear any of many names and I would have no problem endorsing those of the Billy Liddel or Dixie Dean variety but pressed, would probably opt for a vaguely cryptic one, namely "RED DUSTER AIRPORT" in tribute to our merchant seamen who, well, actually did put Liverpool on the map and which would give us a chance, when questioned to tell, doubtless in pithy and encapsulated versions, of some of their exploits, whether of when they transatlantiqued protected by Captain Johnny Walker's vessels on convoy duty in the 40's or when pitting their skills against the Boston transatlantic men in the 1880's.

So that's mine then: "RED DUSTER AIRPORT". Do I have anyone to second that motion?

..& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Stag O'Donna, Huh?, Thu Jul 4 19:11:52 2002


Part I of "Dear Bill": Dear Bill, I think that your observation, in questioning the suitability of the airport name, in fact asks a peculiarly scouse version of the question "What's so great about the Beatles anyway?", a focus unknown to Beatles admirers from anyplace else. Well, to my mind, the Beatles (sic) genius manifestly embodied their Liverpool essence, even when looking at other stuff: they knew only how to be one thing, Scousers, but writ large and more or less brilliantly. We all have a bit of Beatle, have ferried across the river, met Eleanor Rigby and even Jude etc etc but the lads made a particular something of it that highlighted a poetry already written by the rest of us in the daily labours of our Liverpool life. This leads us to the conclusion that the map location point is generally expressed arseovertit, whereby I want to say that Liverpool, whose 1950's iconoclastically burgeoning cultural bouillabaisse acted to trigger and enable the Beatles to embody its essence in poem and song, was actually the driving factor in putting them on the map. But they went ahead and did it. Wot I didn't.

I think that their efforts were part of a greater sea change where, thanks to RAB Butler, the now more educated 'lower classes' were daily more aware of their being fed Bulldog Drummond rubbish as a matter of course and of seeing tastefull drawing room comedy, farce and drama when they could truly cry, "Oh, Drawing Room, I Know Thee not! I've on'y gorra a frunt room with empty coal sacks on the floor for the dog ter sleep on". The emergence of Goons, Coronation Street and so forth as opposed to James Mason or even Dirk Bogard (actually, Derek Van den Bogaerde, btw see http://members.aol.com/Alpheratz9/Biography.html) and Doctor films was a flag planting exercise by the avant garde producers, comics and musical practitioners, whereof Liverpool was unshort - I even played in a skiffle group myself, ahem - who transmitted the age more faithfully than others who sought well (who can forget Brief Encounter?) or otherwise to feed a changed audience more of the same old same old.

[contd in Part II]
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Stag O'Donna, Huh?, Thu Jul 4 19:10:08 2002


Easy to knock a dead poet 22 years after the event, Bill. Actually living in the town, it was also a marketing stroke of genius and has brought good publicity for Liddypool. (the logo was designed by a local ad agency). As his buudy Paul grewe up in Speke it's a pity they didn't name in Lennon & McCartney Airport. Anyway, better than naming an airport after a dead politician (JFK etc.) methinks. Bessie Braddock Airport doesn't quite trip off the tongue somehow. Most peculiar Mama. Roll!
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
, , , Thu Jul 4 13:37:59 2002
John, reading your post about Spits brought me back to a point I've wanted to throw into the group for some time. It's not strictly Crosby-related, but what is?

As I flew out of John Lennon International Airport (Above Us Only Sky) on Tuesday, I thought of something my mother said:

"When we had our backs to the wall, and the only thing between us and a Thousands Years of National Socialism was the R.A.F., Speke Airport was a good enough name for the local aerodrome.

John Lennon loved the place so much he left it as soon as humanly possible.

Which of our working-class heroes deserve to be remembered in the name of the Liverpool Airport; those who made the ultimate sacrifice over the skies of our fair city, or a smackhead who was taken out by a fruit loop in his adopted home town?"

Discuss...

(and to our beloved Mayor: if it hadn't been for the Brylcreem Boys, "Sie lieb' dich" and "Komm gib' mir deine hand" wouldn't have been the only songs the Moptops sang in German, so the "they put the town on the map" argument is insufficient)
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
, Amsterdam, , Thu Jul 4 11:06:02 2002


Dear LassBirds and Fellas et. al., For those who fancy that sort of thingy, I have just stumbled upon a relic type photoshot of the very Spitfire that flew daily over St. Mary's in the fifties at ten a.m., flown by John Formby. Shufti it up at http://www.raf.mod.uk/bbmf/fighters.html, toward the bottom of the page. I thought it was BIG stuff to sit in that aircraft at Woodvale, all togged out in a prickly CCF uniform. Now I am on about it and for the sake of completeness, I would mention that the Merlin sound is available on two dollied-up 1944-vintage Spitfire flypast files available at http://www.thespitfireshop.co.uk/sounds.htm. Heigh Ho! Not long after that, when I moved to Crosby, "One scholar's please" --- "Ka Ching!" on the Ribble L8 was about tuppence ha'p'ny, -- when there wuz 480 ha'p'n'ies to the pound.

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Midweek, Wed Jul 3 15:59:14 2002


Enjoyed Saturday, as per...

Claire, did I miss something? On what do you base your (somanyeth) threat to terminate the Channel?

I think we should be told...
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
, Amsterdam, , Tue Jul 2 22:12:10 2002


Dear Andy, Quite. Absolutely quite. But what are we going to call the new rocket-blip generator?

& God Bless
Moi, Encore une Fois <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Stag o' Din, Tue Jul 2 19:27:43 2002


Anti Bush is not anti American, John. Just like anti Thatcher was never anti British. He´s the most dangerous american prez since Tricky Dicky and just strengthens the resolve of the terrorist nutters. I dare say there are a lot of Algy types who feel that too. BTW keep clear of any wedding receptions, and if you do attend one, cut the firecrackers.
Andy Melia <>
Burbo Nooclear Free Zone, , , Tue Jul 2 19:08:25 2002
Inasmuch as the star wars thing is a defensive system, the 'nuky' and 'terrorist skillet' (yer wha'?) part is hardly applicable: rightly or wrongly in third party perception, the Americans seek to intercept offensive rockets launched by dirty rotten stinkers and already on their way to Algy's front door. That would place the nomenclature on a different basis. We might do a BurboDelve to see what we can upcome with: 'Spot-a-rocket'; 'Guess Who's Coming to Dinner' or something descriptively original like 'Distant Early Warning', to the setup its Due.

Whilst knee-jerk anti-americanism may be fashionable, I think you have to differentiate between Daft George and 'all things American' per se. We Brittles have all sortsa things in common with the 'Yanquis' of 'Go home' fame and we didna' oughta flex reflexes for flexing's sake. Where'd've we have been in the last century had Honest Abe's perception of the open society's founding principles had not been applied to keep the Union together in the 1860's and today's US had become two, or three, or four, or five different countries with varying languages and currencies and views of roiling Europe? Where would we all be without a huge natural rights-based consumer market for a whole slew of our stuff, beginning with Land Rovers, Monticule Pythonibus and Masterpiece Theater? Even things such as Seinfeld and Friends have served to sharpen our appreciation of Brit national humour and, absent Americans, we'd not've seen things like the (US financed) 'Chariots of Fire' either. No, the George phenomenon does'nt help a great deal (though even The Economist was against the Kyoto Accords as ineffectual) but neither do a series of Brit or French or German shortcomings help their respectives either. The yanks may not do the best job but can you imagine le Monsieur Président Jacques Chirac (or Ken Livingstone) in power in Washington? Scary! So, let's hear it for all the yanks. Except George and guys like Strom and Jesse, eh? Besides, I see Al Gore is gearing up for a shot at the Seat in the Oval again.(http://news.independent.co.uk/world/americas/story.jsp?story=311160) Will that render anyone's sleep sounder?

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, MardiVen, Tue Jul 2 15:21:25 2002


Once again, the enjoyment of TCC is being abused by a minority. If you have grievances to air, please do so through appropriate channels and leave the Crosby Channel to be enjoyed by its visitors. If you continue to abuse the guestbook then it will be removed. Hoping for some common sense to prevail!
Claire Osborne <claire@interface-web.co.uk>
Crosby, , , Tue Jul 2 09:50:35 2002
algOnuke
Phizynot <aph.uk@_no spam_virgin.net>
Back down South somewhere again..., , , Mon Jul 1 18:14:08 2002
Thanks for that jj. The 'hits' were not a direct contact just part of the general info sent to me by my web providers at Liddypool University. But the 5 star generals have certainly accessed my website. Maybe they want a re-branding exercise for "Son of Star Wars" that Mr Tony has been told to install at Filingdales, North Yorkshire. Off the top of my head I suggest something like: "Instant Pot Nuke - the noo way to fry terrorists" But I'm sure readers will think of something much better.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Noo 'merican PR inc., , , Mon Jul 1 15:45:17 2002
Andy, Honey the dog wants to know where her best pal was come early morning walkies time on Sunday. Any ideas for a good excuse? Wonderful to see everyone on Saturday.
john hodge <>
the dog house, , , Mon Jul 1 15:31:11 2002
Dear Andy, Inasmuch as the US Military's money is as good as the next customer's, don't worry but rather take the alternative: be happy. They are a wideranging concern that surely can do with a bit of q'opywriting inovataryship and who better than Burbo's finest? Go to it! You be able to write 'By appointment to US Copywriting Command' on your stuff and expandify your netly abroadle: you'd become a quintessential transatlantic charlie Bonnyly wefting and Woofing the whole cloth of your creativity á la première classicle out of Ringway, Deltaly, and be perfectly able to charge your spondulix exigencies in forex to be skillfully offshored, what to BurboFolk comes natural! Does it get any better than this? Can I have signed photóculo before the price upgoes? I recommend the Marriot just over Key Bridge from Georgetown and about a sizeable sandbar from the Defense (sic) Dept.

PS: Hintle: If you play tennis, top class Dunlop balls are very much cheaper in the US than back home.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, lundi, Mon Jul 1 14:04:59 2002


Sorry I wasn't able to be there for the re-union - had to sun myself in Spain instead, poor me! Hope it went well and look forward to hearing what you got up to.
Claire Osborne <claire@interface-web.co.uk>
Crosby, , , Mon Jul 1 11:54:40 2002
Dear Algy, last week my website had two hits from the US Military. Should I be worried?
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Armageddon outa here..., , , Mon Jul 1 10:02:28 2002
I see there aren't enough headaches to go round. Somehow or other, that's good news isn't it?

.. & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles on Sundles, Sun Jun 30 18:57:55 2002


Hey, that's my headache you have there; give it back.
Phizynot <aph.uk@_no spam_virgin.net>
Down South somewhere..., , , Sun Jun 30 13:36:21 2002
Ooh. Aaaah. Oooooh. My head....
Andy Melia <>
Brooke II, , , Sun Jun 30 10:05:54 2002
Blimey JJ, perhaps I didn't make the irony sufficiently unambiguous. As you will have gathered from our transatlantic phone conversation last year (which caused some astonishment behind the bar, I remember), we were having a pretty good time indulging as we were in our interminable reminiscences. We shall (as before) raise a glass or two to all our absent friends.
Phizynot <aph.uk@_no spam_virgin.net>
Down South somewhere..., , , Fri Jun 28 21:09:16 2002
Woof!
Bonnie the dog <>
, , , Fri Jun 28 20:15:35 2002
Blimey, Phizynot! I am lamenting not being on the right continent to make it to Brooke II and you come to say that I shan't be missing a great deal anyway. Reminiscences are popularer among the reminiscientii than in-waiting third partles but that simply allows said third partles to snaffle a brew until the third partle rem moment arrives whereupon they become first partles and rem with the best. Priorly firsts, now 3rd's, meanwhile catch up snaffle-wise. Wouldn't you have opined?

Dear Bill, I looked at the German joke website and, whilst agreeing they maybe have a witferous edge over the comically-challenged Dutch, I found the stuff a tad heavy-handed altogether. Oddly enough, and I'd probably have not spotted it without having your recent your post in mind, I saw a German joke on a T-shirt a few days later. The scene is a large lass pig and a smaller lad-pig, both sty-borne: LASS: "Alle Männer sind Schweine!" LAD. "Na, und?" (Lass: "All men are pigs!" Lad: "So what?") which I felt steered close to some intense, albeit diffusely defined, truth.

All of the very bestles for Brooke II at which, apart from timeless reminiscences, is the only one of our events at which the Mayor is expected to upturn in "Panoplia completicus et enteritus, ohne Pooch". That didna oughta disappoint.

Well, back to the Friday grind of watching humming birds just outside my window as I take orders over the 'phone. Ayay-Ay! A whole day before sunblock application and moseying over to the tennis club for a set or two and getting a papaya and a few mangoes on the way home. "Adios muchachos compañeros de mi vida,....."

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendredi, Fri Jun 28 15:39:26 2002


Don't forget, if you're within travelling distance of Crosby tomorrow (Sat 29th), nip into The Brooke at about 8pm for a re-union beer, and bore yourself senseless with the timeless (for which you may read interminable) reminiscences of contributors to this Channel... go on, you owe it to yourself. It was good fun last year.
Phizynot <aph.uk@_no-spam_virgin.net>
Down South somewhere these days..., , , Fri Jun 28 13:28:38 2002
Howdy! Sorry to report that soccer has died again in the good ol' U.S. of A. There is much talk of finding ways for it to gain popularity but so far.....fugedaboutit. Alg.
M.Wardman <algenon66@yahoo.com>
NY, NY, USA, Wed Jun 26 17:30:36 2002
can anybody tell me If they know My dad Bill Fitzpatrick who lived brownmore land and went forefield land school? like to hear from you
kim <Sunshin4789@aol.com>
oakforest, chicagoIL, U.S., Tue Jun 25 03:57:24 2002
Mr Lynch, can you bring your LURRVE taxi to the Brooke on Saturday? Might inspire a pub crawl.
A. Reveller <>
, , , Mon Jun 24 20:20:46 2002
Mr Lynch, that is without doubt, the funniest thing I've read all year. What human life lurks within the ocean of the 'net...
dot dot dot <>
, , , Mon Jun 24 13:03:44 2002
Blimey days!

.. God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendredi, Sun Jun 23 19:49:05 2002


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, bridgetown, Barbados, Sun Jun 23 13:58:46 2002
Tell you what Algy, good job it wasn't England (pampered, overpaid and not a lotta bottle) versus USA (up for it, never got a lucky bounce). Your players deserve the full monty Manhattan ticker tape job, but unfortunately, they'll be ignored. Spread the word.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Soccer correspondent, New York Times, , , Fri Jun 21 17:21:07 2002
Untitled Document www.consumptionjunction.com
me <>
, , , Fri Jun 21 15:52:48 2002
I know a good site to see. Go to the new crosby cam web site www.crosbycam.com and check out the link to the local internet radio station! radiocrosbby
paul <>
, Liverpool, , Fri Jun 21 15:48:30 2002
Never mind, just think of the winners: 1. Scottish beer sales. 2. The CBI. 3. Beckham (stoopid haircut) Inc. Hope you win it Algy old bean. If not, South Korea or Senegal will do.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternetcom>
Pampered, overpaid footballers, , , Fri Jun 21 11:35:06 2002
Gordon Green: I learned the basics of better goalkeeping from Mr. Lowden at St Lukes 1951/2, lessons sadly forgotten, or never learned, by Arsenal's sailor adrift. What is your correct e-addy BTW ?
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Fri Jun 21 10:23:47 2002
Now that Algy's England v USA dream is just that, a dream, I intend to stay on my feet. Haven't got any Californian red but, courtesy of the local Carrefour, have got a thoroughly depressed Chateauneuf du Pape which will have to do the trick to carry me through to the kick off. Kanga cricket? I'll leave that to the fellas down under to describe.
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Fri Jun 21 10:05:11 2002
Stick around awhile P.A. If you are still on your feet, forget that Brazilian juice, uncork a bottle of your best Californian red and support team U.S.A. against the old enemy. What's Kanga cricket?
spotter <stevenpotter@freudian.com>
sunny isles, fla., , Fri Jun 21 09:52:15 2002
The carnival is over. Twice in 32 years I've had to swallow caiparinha at the same Rodizio and accept a one goal defeat. After all these years and so many mistakes you'd think that sailor would know where the goal line was. Anyone for Kanga cricket?
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Fri Jun 21 09:38:12 2002
Andy, will there be a 'bran tub' at your event? I am happy to report folks that yesterdays sport section of the New York Times dedicated it's first three pages to the World Cup, possibly something to do with the yanks making it this far. One article dealt with the phenomenon of why Americans could care less about soccer. The decision was that they don't use thier hands and that there is not enough violence on the field! Howz about England v US final! Go, Algy.
M.wardman <algenon66@yahoo.com>
NY, NY, USA, Thu Jun 20 17:27:56 2002
Hoping to hold my perfidious carnival around 4a.m., at the local Rodizio, after a long night of feijoada, cachaça caipirinha,some early morning football with, may it so please St. Michael, a surfeit of great English goals. No penalty shoot out, fellas, please.
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Thu Jun 20 16:27:26 2002
With the interests of international brother/sisterhood in mind, a grand carnival is to be held on the the Great Burbo Bank. All the usual attractions: tombola, win a goldfish, coconut shy, parents' 50 yards sprint etc. etc., will feature. The added attraction is that this climactic event will be opened by the great...Pele, almost 40 years after his last charismatic appearance on The Sandbank. A five-a -side knockout competition will follow (tide/wind permitting) cumulating in a "Beckham stoopid haircut" competition. Prizes will be presented by Bonnie the dog in The Brooke on Saturday 29th. Everyone welcome - a splendid time is guaranteed for all.
Andy Melia <>
Penalty shoot out, Burbo Bank, , Tue Jun 18 20:27:51 2002
it came as a surprise to be told that sand banks have no fear for crosbyites. is it true? most sandbanks i know are terrified of crosbyites and their 'let's get the shoal on the road' corniness. no amount of lying low seems to help. the crosbyites keep burbo major and burbo minor in the tcc headlines and even give away ramses and baverlie secrets as though there were no tomorrow. as sandy solicitors, we urge crosbyites worldwide to lower bankly statement profile or face a class action on behalf of england's neglected, sadly mistreated and turbocharged offshore protruberances. and suchlike.
Tydal, Eddie & Associates <gowiththeflow@alltimes.edu>
fundy bay by the moss, <>, there'll always be 1, Sat Jun 15 21:55:29 2002
Dont' worry Algy, sandbanks have no fear for us Crosbyites. BTW we're opting for the pub on Highbury Corner. Hope they don't charge for admission.
Andy Melia <>
, , , Fri Jun 14 22:19:12 2002
John, gabba gabba thud! Andy, last time I was in Upper St the Hope and Anchor had re opened. Although a Rock and Roll pit they may well have a telly. Nothing else new except New York. Alg.
M.Wardman <algenon66@yahoo.com>
New York, New York, United Soccer States, Fri Jun 14 21:12:04 2002
Whoops! make that john@plazcinema.org.uk
John Hodge <>
, , , Thu Jun 13 11:01:27 2002
Algy in NYC .... first Joey & now Dee Dee that's just cruel. They'll be a right ol' Blitzkrieg Bop in heaven now. Love,
John (the kkk took my baby away) Hodge <john@plazacinema.co.uk>
, , UK, Thu Jun 13 10:59:14 2002
One thing's for certain, Bob: spelling/punctuation has certainly deteriorated. stay behind after class.
Headmaster <>
, , , Thu Jun 13 09:29:58 2002
After looking at the crosby channel over the years. I NOTHING HAS CHANGE. Loads of CROSBY type mouth. But thats is normal jjam.
bob <bob @ home.ulkcom>
Merseyside, , , Thu Jun 13 01:12:05 2002
The Mayor has been invited to London this Saturday on a jolly...er, cultural exchange seminar. Can anyone recommend a good pub in the HIghbury/Islington area to see the England v Denmark game??
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Sand Glorious Sand, , , Wed Jun 12 21:52:22 2002
Gordon, are you an army sergeant-major? I said...
At the double! <>
, , , Tue Jun 11 10:03:10 2002
WHERE ARE MY OLD SCHOOL MATES OF ST LUKES BOYS FROM ATTENDING 1948 -1952 I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU
GORDON GREEN <GORDONGREEN@BAESYSTEMS.COM>
SALMESBURY, LANCS, , Mon Jun 10 18:52:09 2002
WHERE ARE MY OLD SCHOOL MATES OF ST LUKES BOYS FROM ATTENDING 1948 -1952 i WOULD LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU
GORDON GREEN <GORDONGREEN@BAESYSTEMS.COM>
SALMESBURY, LANCS, , Mon Jun 10 18:51:45 2002
WHERE ARE MY OLD SCHOOL MATES OF ST LUKES BOYS FROM ATTENDING 1948 -1952 i WOULD LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU
GORDON GREEN <GORDONGREEN@BAESYSTEMS.COM>
SALMESBURY, LANCS, , Mon Jun 10 18:51:18 2002
i left crosby 1975 went to manor high 72-75 would like to trace old school mates or anyone that knew me ,john bradley.
john bradley <john@bradley-aaa.fsnet.co.uk>
eastbourne, , u.k., Sun Jun 9 16:06:02 2002
The atmosphere in Amsterdam is totally World Cup Feverless. They're not there, and they know it. As one german Commentator said on the box the other day, The sun laughs above the skies of Japan, and the rest of the world laughs at Holland. The traditional rivalry between the two countries is so funny, purely because (although you won't believe it) the Germans have a brilliant sense of humour, and the Dutch don't!!!

I'm assuming that "The Lads" will this afternoon demonstrate the same flair and panache they recently showed against "Der Mannschaft", and thrash Johnny Gaucho 5 to 1.

Having said that, I wouldn't wager any of my hard-earned Euros on the result.

p.s. For those of you who speak or read German, but doubt my remarks about their sense of humour, a visit to http://www.ihrseidnichtdabei.de/ will show you what I mean...
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
, Amsterdam, , Fri Jun 7 11:57:08 2002


Us colonials can only assume that y'all over there must be all tuckered out following your Jubilee celebrations - a most likely excuse for swinging the lead on Friday so that you can watch the game. Saturday will, of course, be the hardest day what with the king size hangovers that will abound. LIMEYS 5, ARGIES 0. Our disadvantage is the game time; 7.30am. A tad early for us to be into the ale on a working day. Good luck for the ENGLAND team.
Frank Cardwell <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Thu Jun 6 23:55:07 2002
"Here a 'than', there a 'than', everywhere a 'than, than' -- verdammt noch Mal! Ahem -- Old McDonald had ......". But, tomorrow's Friday, I suppose.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <<, Vendredi, Thu Jun 6 21:45:42 2002


Dear Andy, I checked that and can state, without fear of widespread interest, that the interviewee was mistaken but only by about 2722 nauticals, on the condition that you uptake a true heading of 170 degrees and 6 minutes. At least your poor lady was closer to the mark than inhabitants of than the parallel universe where many of our elected leaders appear to have taken up residence.

.. & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <<, Venderdi, Thu Jun 6 19:26:30 2002


jj, I'm sure you'll be interested to know that on the news today camera crews were interviewing the great British public about the forthcoming England & Argentina game. One soul when asked if she knew the capital of Argentina replied: "Venezuela".
Andy Melia <>
, , , Thu Jun 6 18:42:48 2002
Dear A.F., Having curled up a while with my full-length version of the "Shorter Oxford", I am glad to report my being in overall agreement flagwise, especially fancying the lymphad with its Celtic overtones - once a Kelly, always so - and would go for the martlet-nebulé lining option, if everyone else agrees. I must say, the actual Turbo inclusion detail totally puts our flag ahead of the field in the up-to-date stakes. If there are no further entries, I think we should vote as soon as practicable, on a day to become an annual feast under the denomination 'Flag Day', when all truebluers actually paint a depiction thereof on a paving stone of their choice in their city of residence OR in Crosby but to the north, south, west or east of Five Lamps. All in agreement could say "I".

Now, about this anthemlie,....

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darker-by-the-Day, <<, Vendredi, Thu Jun 6 14:38:43 2002


Having been vexillary vexed by the vexillum,( painful it is too), I suggest your flag be: "Sanguine, on a Fess dancettee Azure, between in chief a Bavarian slice, triple towered and Tenne, upon Sand proper issuant from the Fess; and in base a three masted Lymphad of the second, sails furled and flagged of England, (viz gules a saltire argent), with Burbo turbo affrontee Purpure and bladed Or, twixt two pyramids of the last". Fish on Wavyline and/or Martlet on Nebulyline may be added for better copy.
A.F. <cantabfellow@therange.com>
, , , Wed Jun 5 23:48:07 2002
Dear P. Alb., AARrgh! Indeed! The moment it was out of my mouth, I thought, "Oh, Woe! What have I writ?" "Will there be a wiselyhectare to pounce upon my fragile fraysie o' low-G?" "Shall I trot out a claim that, in these hard times, a little toast is better than half a loaf of no bread?" "Am I undun?" But, yes, I'm game for the additional bramble seedless, marmles and a spot of good solid tea -- I like mine strong -- with Demarara sugar by preference, if, after a faux pas de deuxiéme régime like this lot, there are still folk as'll support my re-election as foreign minister-in-keeping, a post holder of no fixed table number but coquie with it on occasionly sometimes.

But enough about me! What's with the variable pendings on the agenda and up for disquebules? What about the flag, the religious change of hart when househunting, the Nooly Judeled Anthemlie in need of further lyrics beyond the nah-nah sequenceship?

And, for the Grace-flavoured appartment, many thanks from a gratefully inmate.

...& God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <, Vendles, Wed Jun 5 20:17:45 2002


After all those years, jj, you'd think that couple could have added a little butter, a shred of gold or seedless bramble, and a pot of tea for three or four.
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Wed Jun 5 18:28:49 2002
Dear 'Me, At Home, Alone': Blimey, mate, if we're sad, where does that leave you? Come on! Snap out of that rubbish; stiff-upper-lip it and brighten things up if you feel the way you say! Moan ye not over other bowmens' shortfalls! Fire your arrer farther an' 'igher! 'Removal' Van Helsing is beGoogleable in a trice though being unapprised of his ID is no shame, assuming you're not a professor specialising in Bram Stoker. As for sad, there is indeed a poor charlie who insists on flailing hissel' for the world, literally, to see, owing to having left an acquaintance with at least momentary responsibility for a lass he claims is misguided. Such contact is becoming weddingly and the original Helsing, in truth, a Wright-Burke, is apparently unable or unprepared to manage or handle what he feels, on grounds anything but clear, to be his responsibility in the whole affair. He apparently does not know that you cannot change anyone except yourself, and then, only with effort and humility. Funny actually: I recollect bringing two folk together, by chance, over thirty years ago and, every time I go back, they remind me with a little toast. Kinda cute after a fashion.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Wed Jun 5 01:58:07 2002


Dear 'Me, At Home, Alone': Blimey, mate, if we're sad, where does that leave you? Come on! Snap out of that rubbish; stiff-upper-lip it and brighten things up if you feel the way you say! Moan ye not over other bowmens' shortfalls! Fire your arrer farther an' 'igher! 'Removal' Van Helsing is beGoogleable in a trice though being unapprised of his ID is no shame, assuming you're not a professor specialising in Bram Stoker. As for sad, there is indeed a poor charlie who insists on flailing hissel' for the world, literally, to see, owing to having left an acquaintance with at least momentary responsibility for a lass he claims is misguided. Such contact is becoming weddingly and the original Helsing, in truth, a Wright-Burke, is apparently unable or unprepared to manage or handle what he feels, on grounds anything but clear, to be his responsibility in the whole affair. He apparently does not know that you cannot change anyone except yourself, and then, only with effort and humility. Funny actually: I recollect bringing two folk together, by chance, over thirty years ago and, every time I go back, they remind me with a little toast. Kinda cute after a fashion.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Wed Jun 5 01:57:44 2002


SO SAD People on this channel. IT SHOULD BE FUN AND who is Van Helsing. It says it all
me <At home>
alone, merseyside, uk, Wed Jun 5 00:46:01 2002
Normally I don't respond to posters who don't have the guts to sign their abusive postings, but my dear Van Helsing, I cannot help but conclude, when reading the "unwritten agenda" in your writings, that

a) your are sweet on the girl yourself

or

b) your are sweeet on the BOY yourself

In any event your obsessive interest in the forthcoming nuptuals is not natural...

Either way, this is not the forum for vulgar libelling of friends and foes alike, and certainly not if you're too chicken to use your real name.

And don't forget Van Helsings final ignominious fate... ;)
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
, A,msterdam, , Tue Jun 4 11:28:08 2002


To Bill[b*****k-brain@bullshit.com]

NO!, it wasn't HIS choice!!! It was *MY* choice to dump this feral s**t in his home while he wasn't even there!!! Has this man no self- respect!... No... self-esteem!! Can't he get a girlfriend for himself???? Is there something WRONG with him??? How long was it since he'd had his HOLE???? TEN F.U.C.K.I.N.G. YEARS?????

So how did you meet your wife, Eddie??? Well, she's a bad, mad slag to whom no-one else would give house-room, and I just found her sitting there in my home when I came home one night.... In the booze/coke miasma that is my pitiful excuse for a life, I was eager to plight my troth to an "evil nymphomaniac who should be sectioned" (...and these are just the nice things her OWN PARENTS have had to say about her)

The JOKE's on you - poor, sad, pathetic Eddie.....
Van Helsing <>
, , , Tue Jun 4 01:49:07 2002


In honour of the Queen's Golden Jubilee celebrations, please be upstanding for the National Anthem
br> ......."Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah. Nah nah nah nah. Hey Jude,,,"

Mayor <>
Burbo Bank, , , Mon Jun 3 23:20:37 2002
Dear JJ, as Burbo's famous South American Consul you are, of course, entitled to a grace and favour apartment on the Great Bank. Sea views? Absolutely no problem.
Andy Melia <>
, , , Mon Jun 3 07:32:09 2002
Dear Bill: Absolutely.

Dear Plain, As you say, 'It's self explanatory really,... men with problems'. Well suddenly, I recollect that adage, "It takes one to know one". If stuck for a good place to begin personal problem solving, you might beneficially leave TCC in peace and have a shufti at the mirror, just on the offchance, like.....

Dear Andy, Burbo Turbo and Burbo Hideaways Developments, PLC: how's my plot enquiry progressing?

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Mon Jun 3 02:40:50 2002


"He's a p**s-head, hee hee hee!!!", she squealed with delight, the night I dumped Crosby's most notorious slag in the home of this dim brickie....

Let's face it, from a psycho-analytical viewpoint, the only ones that Shirley goes the full nine yards with are men with PROBLEMS, be they drugs, alcohol or mental illness - or preferably all three...

It's self-explanatory, really. They have the things she WANTS, and being none too bright, are easy prey to her psychopathic charm. This guy, though, has outdone all her previous victims in his moronic tenacity....
The Plain Truth <>
, , , Mon Jun 3 01:20:04 2002


I'd tell him to go for it. She can't be much worse than his so-called "friends" who anonymously use an open forum to libel him and his woman. It's his choice; leave him alone to get on with it.
Bill <blue-eyes@budddhist.com>
, Amsterdam, , Mon Jun 3 01:07:38 2002
What advice would TCC regulars offer to a rather genteel, but somewhat naively-stupid family from College Road North, Blundellsands, whose eldest son (dob 14/04/66) is hell-bent on marrying a mentally-ill prostitute?....
Van Helsing <>
, , , Sun Jun 2 00:11:52 2002
Dear Andy, Would you be so kind as to set aside a little hectare or two, by preference with a view of the sea? Thanks!

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Sat Jun 1 23:41:24 2002


STOP PRESS. The Burbo Turbo windmills have been given the go-ahead. Real estate on the sandbank is expected to rocket.
Andy Melia <>
, , , Sat Jun 1 18:44:19 2002
Snort...
Crosby Taliban <>
, , , Sat Jun 1 15:56:36 2002
For the groom's benefit....

I went out with Shirley a couple of times. I decided to run in the other direction after being asked, by a lowlife "friend" of hers, quite matter-of-factly : "Are you her Pimp?"

I'd already had my suspicions, after she tried to persuade me to "lend" a bricklayer "friend" of hers £10. He didn't seem particularly keen to take the money, and made a sharp exit.... I guess he must have thought I was an undercover copper.

Need I say more?
Crosby Taliban <>
, , , Sat Jun 1 15:55:46 2002


Where I met my wife, in my case, of 34 years: what a good idea, where and how one became bewiféd or beguyéd (semanticallic similarties to 'beguiled are purely coincidental) looks like quite a topic.

My wife-to-be or, in Andychat, -in-waiting, lived way beyond the bus depot terminus by the police station so I had to undertake trips to find where she was at. The oddliness of all this was that, on my arrival in January, 1968, at her location, at that time, the 5th floor offices of Shell Quimica de Venezuela in Caracas, she never let on. I mean, none of that 'Ah, there you are finally' or 'Well, its about time y' know'. She was Señorita Magalí Luciani at the time and I was just in after a stint ferreting about in Delft, Holland, where I didn't find her, naturally. So, instead of rushing into anything, we started to chat an' stuff, going out to a fillum, with Wilfred Pickles - can you imagine, Wilfred Pickles in Caracas, in 1968, Blimey! -- seemed perfectly natch at the time mind you.

Having opted for the 'slow boat' philosphy, we chatted and stuff some more and, it being a slow year overal, decided we could carry on a while, chatting. So we got engaged that March and aimed at a May wedding: it transpired that everyone I knew, what waren't many, was booked up by then so we offput it until July, 13th. That´ll be 34 of them this year, in a few weeks.

Over the years, I haven't changed a great deal. Neither have my glasses. Let's hear it from them as what's been a successful swain or been successfully beswained to the point of marriage to same. Maybe that could be worked into the Burbo Phlagge, by incorpration of an intertwining of national symbols covering the locations of Burbo Offshorers such as ussle? I would contribute a painting depicting an oily-well, tamarind and mango. Given Crosbyites come in various sizes and, well, mileages, maybe a little reflective whimsy could also be inworked into the overall. Were such to meet with cabinet approval, I'd be prepared to vote for, say, "Son, get your priorities straight: few on their deathbeds think, 'Gee, I wish I had spent more time in the office!". Or other.

.. & God Bless

P.S. For those who asked me privately about the Crosby lady's lost friend, I can advise all is outsorted but, for whatever reason, I have recently been unable to access the board to post.(Tone down relief sighs at the back there, please!)
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Fri May 31 20:46:35 2002


Q: So, how did you meet your intended, Eddie?
A: Well, I was minding my own business, and came home p****d one night to just find her sitting in my house.

Q. You're joking! How did she get there?
A. It turned out she had trashed her own flat and made herself homeless for the 4th time in 12 months. Her own parents had shown her the door, so she started phoning ex-"boyfriends" (she carries around a little red book with about 100 names and phone numbers) and SIX men refused her shelter(because they don't want their houses trashed or to be falsely accused by her of rape or asault). The seventh EX she phoned happened to be living with me at the time, and he said yes, she could stay with us. Then he moved out, rather quickly....

Q. Let me get this straight. You are going to marry a homeless tramp who insinuated herself into your house via an ex-boyfriend?
A. Well....Yes, but things always look better after a drink and a snort...

Q. Do you know how many men she's had?
A. Her parents did tell me, but all I can remember is the figure ended in a couple of zeroes. I am actually still looking for the one man in Crosby or Waterloo who HASN'T been with her. I'm told he does exist, but I'm beginning to think he must be a myth....

Q. Do you have much experience of women?
A. There was one other one, come to think of it...

Q. How have things been since you became an item?
A. Just a few ups and downs. Nothing major... First, I lost my driving licence after she persuaded me to drive to Southport to see an EX of hers(this guy was one of the many who'd refused to give her house-room the day she landed in my house), and I was stopped way over the limit on the way back. Then I was arrested for rowing with her in the street. Then my family threw us out of our house. Then we were evicted from our new address. The Police are around at ours so often I'm considering charging them rent...

Q. Are you mentally ill?
A. I don't think so, but if it pleases her, I'll gladly try it... We'd have it in common then.

Q. Are you sure this is your wedding you're going to, and not your FUNERAL?...
A. How can I tell? My life's already in ashes....

Q. Do you think it's going to last?
A. Of course it'll last....until she's had the shirt off my back and we're in the gutter...

Am I the only sane person in the world?? <>
, , , Fri May 31 19:25:25 2002


Sandra, didn't you know there was a World Cup on? Come on you Senegalese!
Crosby Sven <>
, , , Fri May 31 16:09:35 2002
Looking forward to the 4 days off - what's everyone around the world doing for the Jubilee (if anything)?
Sandra <>
Crosby, , , Fri May 31 10:39:01 2002
Don't do it, Eddie! She'll make a d**k-head out of you. In fact, she already has - and it's not going to get any better. Think of where you were - and where you are now... Think of what you had - and what you've lost. Think of your kids... Think of anything BUT her. She's had more p****s in her than a second-hand dartboard, and they've all ended up in the gutter because of her. You'll be no different....

"I always pay for sex - it's CHEAPER in the long run... Woody Allen"
The Prophet <>
, , , Thu May 30 22:03:14 2002


Right now it looks like I will be at the RE-UNION in spirit and not in "spirits" if you catch my drift. Regardless, I'll still spring for the winner's pint.
Frank Cardwell <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, , , Thu May 30 04:17:11 2002
JJ: How are things in Venezuela, this fine day?. Is the little colonel still in control there? Meanwhile Carmona, unlike Matilda, takes no money and done run Colombia! Some haven for the misbehavin'!
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
where, everyone's welcome, , Wed May 29 18:44:51 2002
Psychopath & manic-depressive to tie the knot...should produce very interesting, if spectacular results! A bit like matter and anti-matter coming together. Shirley and her "fiancé" press ahead with their plans for personal oblivion. She's a pathological taker - and he can't say NO.
Known to The Drug Squad <charlieheads-r-us@coke.com>
, , , Wed May 29 13:52:02 2002
I missed the last get together at the Brooke,is this for any one,or just ex pupils of St.Mary's? If it is for anyone,did any females attend last year? I might be interested to meet some of the contributers of TCC.......Frank are you going?
Barb <nanna_barb @ yahoo.com>
Crosby, Liverpool, England, Wed May 29 12:15:00 2002
Frank, can I assume from the fact that you're already doling out free pints in the Brooke that you'll be there?
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
, Amsterdam, , Wed May 29 09:55:25 2002
I must report that, after a hard fought and very exciting ice hockey game, our beloved home team THE TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS have gone down to defeat at the hands of the HURRICANES tonight. That said, we can now our attention to the proposed BURBO STADIUM issue since our Mayor of Burbo has returned from his absence. The first item on the agenda should probably be the flag issue. Because we have many members of this (The TCC) channel who have unrivalled heraldic expertise perhaps we should leave the design of a BURBO FLAG open to suggestion. The reward for the winning design will be a free pint at the BROOKE on June 29th when the winner is announced. Anyone care to submit an entry?
Frank Cardwell <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Mississauga, , Canada, Wed May 29 04:17:31 2002
Thank you all for your suggestions for the Burbo Stadium - excellent work. Apologies for responding at this late stage but I have been busy on Ballearic business drinking Rioja, eating tapas and ogling the lithe, topless....er, I mean attending vital meetings to "shore" up the Beurbo against the Euro. However, a national Burbo Bank stadium is tempting. Particularly when one considers the mystical background to such a proposal - not only the sacred Ramses connection, but the fact that the infant Mayor-in-waitng and his short trousered pals performed such footballing acts of genius on said sandbank in the 60's that a precedent has been set. At the moment I am on prozac, recovering from the shock of Monsieur Anelka not signing for the reds, but when my equilibrium has been restored, I shall consult my Burbo tide timetables and produce a feasibility study. Copies will be distributed at the Brooke reunion on Saturday 29th June. 8pm sharp.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Burbo Naturist's Beach, , , Tue May 28 16:00:25 2002
Message for JJ who appears to be in Venezuela. I've been concerned about Waterloo Park girlfriend Beryl Morton who now lives in Caracas. Have heard little from her and the phone doesn't seem to work either. How bad is it out there? By the way, I was once Lesley Nelson of Brownmoor Lane, ex Forefield Lane and Waterloo Park. Anyone know what happened to John Saphier?
Victoria Smillie <v.smillie@talk21.com>
Bawburgh, Norwich, Norfolk, Sat May 25 09:58:11 2002
Well.... Hello Crosby Channel! Congratulations on the new look, very impressive. Hope everyone is well. I'll be on again soon with news on a forthcoming production at the civic hall... if you saw OLIVER, you'll love this one even more!!! Happiness Always ADM
Antony Martin <amartin2@activemail.co.uk>
Crosby, Liverpool, UK, Thu May 23 15:28:19 2002
Then jj, what about a floatable stadium? Marine could theretofore use it for their games for which same stadium could be towed to a position offshore to Waterloo. Premier games would of course take place with the stadium anchored facing the more affluent areas such as Brighton-le-Sands. The only engineering problems that I forsee could revolve around the necessary sewer pipe connection to Burbo. Mind you, when I was a lad, we all considered the Crosby sewer pipe and tower to be both an engineering marvel and an important aid to navigation. Let's leave it up to the Mayor to decide.
Frank Cardwell <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Toronto, Home of the Toronto Maple Leafs, It's ice hockey mania once again, Thu May 23 05:36:21 2002
De profundis of our unending political turbulence and our president's latest trip abroad, whence, boarded on a separate Iberia flight, he took along his own crowd of 40 protesters* with anti-American placards to demonstrate in his support and at my expense (heiliges!) and, in Spain for the EU-LatAm summit, a) failed to attend the summit he'd gone for, also at my expense, and b) failed to show up at the formal dinner at the invitation of King Juan Carlos, alleging he didna wanna put on a formal outfit he's used before, I cry to Thee O Lord!. Having failed to do any of the things he'd gone to represent us for, he added insult to injury by letting the four winds know that he had come (at my expense) in the brand new $65,000,000 Airbus 319 jacuzzi that I and a few mates bought him, merely to tell his hosts and everyone else, via a public press conference which more readily and cheaperly could have been called in Caracas, that the summit was, like all of them, a load of rubbish anyway. At this point, I and those like me were allowed to pocket our now substantially lighter chequebooks for a day or two. In which vein, I would like to outpoint that I am particularly well positioned to look with unvarnished, albeit varnishable, uncynicism at plans to locate the new footy field such as to desecrate Burbo it-very-self.

As foreign minister, and a foreigner one you'll have to go along way to updig, I balk, nay, I positively balk, in the strongest terms (that takes some doin', btw) at the idea of common tourists contaminating the purity of Crosby's pureness, the folksy hale-fellow-well-met-and-how-was-your-Brownmoor-dance-any-talent-that'd-look-at-you-unaskance? and the general Crosbyness. I would, though, go for an 'uncommon tourist' campaign whereby we could look at the "Crosby, Europe's best kept secret" (and cheap at half the price) approach and then try the engineering feats described, and by the way dragging a fair fraction - to include Satties and Seafield** - of the caboodle down a bit, to be on a longitude and at a latitude more in keeping with the natural tropicality of Crosby's folksy-hale-fellow- etc etc. All this would a) help out Poor Venezuela by enhanced proximity with the formal commonsense of Crosbyite civilities writ large, b) reduce the length of my flights homely and c) improve the fancy higher priced tourist throughput since there are more here in the Caribbean than there. Apart from that, generically, I'm all for the plan.

... & God Bless

* apparently arrested for lack of demo permit (after goin' all that way, at my expense) ** By means of a well-documented discontinuity in the space-time lattice, located near my shaving mirror, natch.
jj <jj>
The Darkening, <>, Vendles, Thu May 23 01:55:34 2002


Building a stadium on the Burbo Bank would first require the united approval of the administrative body that oversees the territory. ie The Mayor of BURBO. His voice goes for all of us. So what he says goes. The next logical step would be to re-route the River Mersey along a logically planned scenic route that would include such notable landmarks as the FIVE LAMPS, THE LIVER, THE ODEON (or whatever it is known as in present times), SEAFIELD, MERCHANT TAYLORS, ST. MARY'S, THE REGENT ( which would have to flaunt it's former glory in order to impress the paying cruise-ferry passengers). A stop at the Crown Building as there will be a few local pubs within walking distance and we could replace McDonalds with an enlarged Satterthwaites duty-free cake shop. This new diversion could eventually re-join the original Mersey probably in the Hall Road area. Crosby could very well gain the title of VENICE OF THE NORTH-WEST! We could sell vials of genuine SEFTON SAND for souvenirs. The possibilities are endless! And of course, the BURBO STADIUM would be the ultimate attraction. Just think, one could sit there all day admiring the wonderful Crosby shoreline from the BURBO BANK!
Frank Cardwell <fcardwell@hotmail.com>
Mississauga, , Canada, Wed May 22 20:56:49 2002
After the latest debacle re the building of a new National Stadium, may I suggest that his Warship (sic), the Burbo Mayor put together a plan to have the new stadium built on the now famous Burbo Bank. Accessibility could achieved by revivifying the erstwhile mersey ferry boat service.The flood lighting could be serviced by the Wind turbines.I would invite any Crosby subscriber to chip in with his/her two pennorth of support. let's see how good and imaginative case we can all make.
footy mad Uncle Frank. <>
crosby, , , Wed May 22 19:32:47 2002
A retired teacher has won damages after being libelled by a former pupil on the Friends Reunited website, even although the site carried the offending words only for a day. Could open interesting opportunities for future class action. How wise of our webmaster(mistress) to have taken a Booth at the Bar and a watchdog to monitor this Noticeboard!
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Tue May 21 18:38:51 2002
Qu'est-ce que c'est? Don't write in all capitals. It's not friendly. Idiot.
Le Mouton Rouge <>
, , , Mon May 20 11:34:49 2002
DADDY IS WRONG AS ODEON WAS 6PENCE IN THE SIXTIES,AND LES FEMMES (THE GIRLIES) WOULD HAVE TO WEAR LE MAROOON KNICKERS,AS THE SAME AS THE GARCONS MAROON CRAVATS(SAME COLOUR AS THE BOYS MAROON TIES.MERCE PAPAS FAVORIVE PETITE FEMME,BABEE.......KISS M0M RAT HOLE ALL MON AMIS AT CHESSEY!
babbee WATSON <NODDTWATSON@EMAIL.COM>
VERRT GREEN WITH CORN, OTTAWA, CANADA, Mon May 20 03:50:54 2002
Sooner use the flamethrower on Llewellen-Bowan! JB
John Burns <Jonb4@aol.com>
, , , Mon May 20 03:49:48 2002
PB - I remember the Faldings shop very well, but I'm sorry I can't help you with the whereabouts of any of the family now. I'd say the shop closed in about 1972. Good luck in your search.
Phizynot <aph.uk@virgin.net>
Down South somewhere..., , , Sat May 18 10:42:48 2002
And you could always get Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen to take a flame thrower to the living room...
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
, , , Sat May 18 10:33:08 2002
Having seen the pictures on telly, the Mayor is impressed. Impressed, that is, by the superlative skills of "our brave boys" nooly re-arranging the rugged, mountainous terrain of Afganistan. Ever in mind of cost-saving excercises, he has written to the MOD to suggest that our boys could be put to REAL, practical, Burbo-related use. As you can imagine, the Mayoral garden is often used for important civic functions and such landscaping skills could genuinely transform the look and functionality of said garden. And the great thing is, the taxpayer would foot the bill!
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Civic pride - Burbo side, , , Sat May 18 08:21:03 2002
Hello Mrs Watson here.My British husbands answers to the questions are for the 1970s quiz are, N01 / no, luv the C2 goes to Thornton ,yer need the L2 for the Richmond Sausage Factory.Anwser No2 ,hey mam can I have sixpence for the Odeon.No3,I dont have any fines in the post for the Crosby Library.N05 I have a certificate for swimming from Crosby Baths.No6 ,have yer got yer sailboat to sail on Coronatian Parks Pond.No17, what der yer mean Princess Anne is going to the Marina.No47 what,the Ribble Bus station/ Cop shop,Crosby Court gone...aaaarrrhhh wheres my Prozac....ooohh yes thats better,now lets go off and play footy at Victoria Park!
mrs watson <noddywatson@hotmail.com>
Richmond, Ottawa, Canada, Sat May 18 03:57:20 2002
Hello Waterloo/Crosby ,who, or didnt go to crosby road infant /junior /senior/manor high school school.I still cant remember how many points I got for Scott /cavell/ fry or Dickens{only kiddies from junior school remember that one) I still love the chip shop of george and angelas in college road,which I still visit every year on me hols.I have to admit that even when I emigrated in 1984 to Cananda, that there is a psychiatrist that Is treating me with my boyhood sex problems with the change of green to navy blue knickers around 1972 at Manor High.Thanks for the memories everyone,noddy watson(official sagger of Manor High school)
john watson aka blackfeet <noddywatson@hotmail.com>
richmond, near Ottawa, Canada, Sat May 18 03:10:13 2002
Does anybody remember Faldings shop in Brooke Road? Would like to trace their daughter Helen.Any one help?
pb <>
crosby, , , Fri May 17 22:58:46 2002
Bill- no just lost my ability to spull! Sufism is not what its cracked up to be.
Pete Hudson <noreligion@aol.com>
, , , Fri May 17 22:12:46 2002
Dear Cal' ol' sock, I feel you may be onto someting there. The house religion, as it were, a choice to be made responsibly by those contemplating a move. It also creates an opening for the lesser and Noo-er versions. There's gotta be mileage in them thar prie-dieus surely? Bearing in mind the longsitting relationship with Ramses et al and Egyptian Godlies, the mayoral dog on the pagehead there takes on all manner of significance, not to speak of a generic Seafield girl too. Ahem.

.. & God and Halifax Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, x, Vendles, Fri May 17 19:37:05 2002


Changing religions when moving house would be quite an interesting concept. The estate agents could try to sell what they think is the most attractive to you. I wonder what the descriptions of the perceived not-so-hot religions might be?
Caliph Umar <>
, Liverpool, , Fri May 17 18:01:30 2002
Dear Bill, Nothing like giving it a whirl, eh?
Derek 'Ervish <twinkletoes@spin.org>
Ankara, -, Ashby de la Moccha, Fri May 17 16:17:40 2002
Pete, have you perchance become a Muslim mystic since changing homes?
Bill <>
, , , Fri May 17 15:54:53 2002
HI Frank and Bill,Fletchers was on Mount Pleasant.That was about the only place in Waterloo /Crosby that I never went to. I did my ballroom dancing at the Corona Dancehall College Road,then Rock n Roll hit the scene,and all changed.St Lukes Liverpool Road( became known as The Jive Hive) Rileys Ballroom on Moor Lane.Brownmoor Tennis Club building( a wooden hut at the time) off Brownmoor Lane. Great Crosby Secondary Modern(also known as Coronation Road) School,was demolished a few years ago,and now is the site for apartments for the elderly( worrying to think that I now qualify!)If there is anyone on this TCC,who went to Forefield Lane school 1947/51 and Coronation Road 1951/55, I would love to hear from them
Barb <daxie2@hotmail.com>
Crosby, Liverpool, England, Fri May 17 11:57:16 2002
Partly to acknowledge moving house, also to try to prevent half my working day being spent idly sufing, a new email address "at home". Best wishes to all our readers.
Pete Hudson <peteatainsworth@aol.com>
Jackfield, Shropshire, , , Thu May 16 23:02:12 2002
My Grandfather, William H. McKnight was an Engineer on the Olympic for 3 years. He his wife and 4 children lived somewhere in Liverpool Eng. He was assigned to work on the Titanic, however, he stayed with the Olympic and recieved passage to the US for him and his family. I am looking for information on crew lists thru the White Star Line, addresses of where they may have lived and any other information that may be out there. They arrived in the US according to my Father in 1910. There seems to be some discrepency on this as according to records, the Olympic arrived the first time to the US in 1911. He also said that they ported in Philidelphia, and lived in NJ. The records indicate that the Olympic ported in NYC. If anyone has records, crew lists or other useful information PLEASE e-mail me. Thank you Laurie McKnight
Laurie McKnight <cybrwolf123@aol.com>
Liverpool England roots, Charlotte, USA, Thu May 16 17:02:20 2002
My Grandfather, William H. McKnight was an Engineer on the Olympic for 3 years. He his wife and 4 children lived somewhere in Liverpool Eng. He was assigned to work on the Titanic, however, he stayed with the Olympic and recieved passage to the US for him and his family. I am looking for information on crew lists thru the White Star Line, addresses of where they may have lived and any other information that may be out there. They arrived in the US according to my Father in 1910. There seems to be some discrepency on this as according to records, the Olympic arrived the first time to the US in 1911. He also said that they ported in Philidelphia, and lived in NJ. The records indicate that the Olympic ported in NYC. If anyone has records, crew lists or other useful information PLEASE e-mail me. Thank you Laurie McKnight
Laurie McKnight <cybrwolf123@aol.com>
Liverpool England roots, Charlotte, USA, Thu May 16 17:01:51 2002
There was a 10 minute Venezuela spot on Channel 4 the other night JJ. From vague memory it showed "maverick" Senor Pres in his trainers saying he was just a harmless sorta guy. It also mantioned his friendship with Saddam, Gadaffi etc. Plus US fears that he'll turn off the oil tap and them denying 'secret meetings' with the 'other side' to facilitate the 'coup'. Why not ring the BBC foreign desk and tell it as it is?
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
, , , Tue May 14 12:13:00 2002
Having seen today's Guardian, I would outpoint that the BBC2 Newsnihght story tonight supposédly with inside info on the non-coup in Venezuela and, in the article bruiting it about anyway, the rebuilding of OPEP by the Venezulan Presidential chappie, would appear in prospect to be a load of rubbish, bearing little recognisable relation the events in Caracas. I just thought you all oughta to know that.

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
The Darkening, z, Vendles, Mon May 13 17:57:06 2002


Uncle Frank, No you are not the lone surviver from those Halcyon years, I'm still kicking but its getting harder & harder to remember back 60 years. What is the name of the street that Fletchers was on ? Did you have to take a buss to get home after the dance ? I can remember catching the last bus with my girlfriend it was allways full when it arrived but somehow we managed to get another 50 people in , "what fun".
Bill Fitzpatrick <wjoya 1952 @ aol , com>
, Chicago, USA, Fri May 10 05:21:46 2002
What is the Prime Minister's wife doing to that dog's bottom? Is she a trained animal physician? I think we should be told?
The Valiant Vet <>
, , , Fri May 10 03:51:34 2002
Mention the name of Fletcher's dancing Academy to someone of my age and memories come flooding back of those Glorious evenings spent learning the Waltz and quickstep on alternate mondays, all for the price of one and sixpence. Half an hour of tuition allowing time to pick up a few dance steps and ample time to weigh up the female talent for the second half which allowed time to practise what you had learned to the recorded music of Victor Sylvester and line yourself up for a snog later on, if you were lucky! Those of you who are responding and thinking over times past may too have been struck by the mention of St Michael's. Who among you could forget those great evenings spent at the StM's hop on a Saturday night. Small hut, cosy and dancing to the band which included (blind) Frank Anderson on accordian, Peter Johnson on piano and drums, Harry (later Doctor) Halsall on the double bass and Phil( later Sir Phillip) Carter singing his inimitable rendering of that great Bing Crosby number 'Please'. Surely I am not the last survivor from those Halcyon days?
Uncle Frank <>
, Crosby., , Thu May 9 20:16:48 2002
Hi Claire, Bill Fitzpatrick. I cant imagine why you can't get through to me I checked the address and its ok, anyway what can I talk to you about? let me ramble on a bit and tell you about the schools I attended, where I worked and where I played, well you know I went to St Edmonds and Forefield Lane School but I also went to a school in crosby called Great Crosby Senior School,I am not quite sure of its location but Coronation road seems to ring a bell, I wonder if it is still there? After I got out of school I went to work at the Corona Cinema and worked there for four years I was seccond Projectionist,then I came to the US and worked at the British Consulate for four years, which actualy stretched into fifty, but getting back to my teenage years I used to a lot of dancing, I used to go to Place called Fletchers dancing school it was in Waterloo, there was also the Corona Ballroom, we went to dances at St, Lukes also the Crosby town Hall. Allthough I grew up during ww two I had such a wonderfull childhood, Well I'm going to sign of now Claire so hopeing to hear from you,BILL ps, please excuse the spelling it was never my strong suit.
Bill Fitzpatrick <wjoya 1952 @ aol, com>
, Chicago, USA, Thu May 9 07:25:32 2002
How about St. Andrew....we already have his picture. A giant leap, from Mayor to Sainthood, well deserved of course.
Ex Pat USA <>
, , , Thu May 9 06:53:39 2002
Dear P., It's nice to see the lads canonised finally as per yours of then but there warn't no dictatorial anything but a 'strongly felt' vote, as in democratic. I think democracy runs better when there are strongly felts as opposed to not so and corollaryly, low turnouts.

As for your choice of St. Michael, why not? I took Mike as a confirmation name actually, impressed with his early swordsmanship and all that but, on a practical 'Crosby Patron' basis, one can also underpin his case by citing that he already has a Road - down there by the Waterloo ground as I recollect. But is he the only candidate? And how about a bird: are there no saintly nubiles out there what'd give Mike a few nervous moments. Or more?

I've fancied that Faustina girl and St. Theresa of Avila is a Top Lass too, and smart with it. Furthermorely and mind you like, y' know, if there's life after death and the French and Spanish country parties are what they're cracked up to be, there's a case for lesser knowns. As in Gracie Fields, 'SALLY!' or other such.

Or we could hark back to Crosby's Viking roots, as per the Squire's Tale and go for a St. Bridget, or Literate Wladwin of Altcar, famed his expostulation at Crosby ignorance at the alehouse, "There's no Rune at the Inn!".

Or we could bet on God's infinite mercy and generate a Patron Saint incorporating the features we figured cover the case, so with a background in nautical yarns, representing the pre-Coronation Street era, a generosity beyond a garroulous gruffility, a way with horses redolent of the Crosby pre-war Carnival Horse Chap, a few little miraculous lightheartedlies and a name that could be fella or birdle, like Clair St. John-Gilbertson-Rimmer. Or something. This case has the advantage that God can slide petitions over to any old sainty chap or lass that's got nowt to do at the minute thus bucking them up per se and guaranteeing a faster reply protocol for the people in this vale of beers.

Whatever!

... & God Bless, as Caracas Darkens Further.
jj <jj>
dunkelhiergelle?, #define _CGI_HTTP_REFERER http://www.merseyworld.com/crosby-channel/guestbookadd.htm, Vendles, Thu May 9 01:02:20 2002


Oh Claire, how truly wonderful that our our dear Worshipful Mayor of Beurbo now heads these 'umble pages. Wish you'd get rid of the dog next to him, though. Mind you, the spaniel can stay.
Loyal Subject <arslikan@slimeball.org>
, , , Thu May 9 00:42:36 2002
The "Fortuijn Saga" takes a novel twist! The elections due to take place on 15th March will not be cancelled, for various "noble reasons". The politicians speak of constitutions, and not submiting to the rule of the gun, but after 27 years, I know the Dutch; it'll cost too much to postpone it.

Anyway, to the twist: His party members have called upon the Vox Pop to vote for Fortuyn using the preferential vote system. (we have a list system here, so you can choose either the party, or express a preference for a particular member.)

The fear amongst the psephologists is that there will be a landslide. A party with a huge majority and a dead leader. After the elections, the party will appoint a new leader! Talk about a pig in a poke.

It almost makes John Kelly's lot look democratic!
Bill <>
, Amsterdam, , Wed May 8 23:53:38 2002


Have you noticed how Cherie is gazing rather lovingly at the mystery man - should we tell Tony perhaps?
Suzanne Wright <>
Crosby, , , Wed May 8 18:22:54 2002
Claire, who's that weird looking guy placed next to Cherie - get 'im off! (Like the dog, though)
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
, , , Wed May 8 17:15:02 2002
Bill Fitzpatrick I would love to speak to you about your school days and anything else you remember. I tried emailing you but can't get through so could you email me at the email address given here please.
Claire Osborne <claire@interface-web.co.uk>
Crosby, , , Wed May 8 11:18:45 2002
The mood on the street is one of incomprehension. Dutch politics has always been a system of compromise and political expedience. Can you imagine a coalition government formed by Labour AND Conservative AND the Lib-Dems AND the left wing of the Green Party? Well, that's what the outgoing government was! (Of course, you have to bear in mind that at the last National election over 40 parties took part, and thanks to P.R. many of them got seats in the Second Chamber!)

It's not as much fun as it sounds, because the so-called "Polder Model" tended to either ignore or brush under the carpet a number of social problems.

Suddenly along comes a natty-dressing,gay intellectual, right-wing former professor of Sociology who addressed issues the coalition compromists didn't dare to touch with the proverbial barge pole. Immigration, health care, the more than one million people who receive invalidity benefit and the half-million long-term unemployed (this in a country with a TOTAL population of 16 million!) to name but a few subjects.

Until Fortuijn (pronounced fore-town) came along, such subjects were taboo. Much to the pleasure of the cloggie-in-the- street, he put these subjects on the political agenda. Fortuijn also possessed something most Dutch politicians lack; charisma.

In the run-up to the election the status quo parties did (in some ways rightly) demonise the man; some nutter environmentalist took the law in his own hands, and, to quote a leading Dutch politician, "The Netherlands lost their innocence."

Fortuijn was not an "extreme right winger", nor was he a racist. His number 2 candidate on the Electoral List was brown (and gay, I believe)and his party even has a Turkish woman in the Rotterdam Council.

His philosophy was simple: as a child he wanted to be Pope. As a grown-up he decided to become Prime Minister, and probably would have succeeded, such was his ability to listen to the Vox Pop. In other words, he was just an ego-tripper, plain and simple. He'd tried to get into the established political parties, but they all rejected him 'cos he was a bit too flaky, even for the Dutch!

Very few of his policies were thought through. Most of them wouldn't have worked. In five years time he would have had his asp kicked by the same electorate that loved him this month, and retired to write his memoires

The mood on the streets is similar to that with Princess Diana when she popped it. (I still think she was a brainless, upper-class slapper with a pretty phiz and some good spin.)

Ironic that the "Dutch Diana" turned out to be a well-dressed 54-year old wooftah. It could only happen here...
Bill <>
Amsterdam, , , Tue May 7 23:35:14 2002


Bill: presumably the Japanese Americans who adopted the Amer-english as their mother tongue are the ones with the health problems. I think I know what you mean about French and Spanish country banquets. Quite the art form in the finest of traditions. Happily for digestion there are few surprises, results are usually fairly predictable, all is friendship and declarations of goodwill, there is all afternoon for eating and drinking, the whole evening for snoozing and smiling and late night and early morning for.... well that's another story..
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Tue May 7 21:40:33 2002
St. Michael should be the Patron Saint of Crosby. St. Michael would have the advantage of pacifying footballing masses incensed by the undemocratic, dictatorial, South American style vetoeing of St. Bill and St. Dixie. St Michael also provides a link with the past and the possibility of reviviving Crosby's once famous Goose Feast and Fair. For references about this feast visit: http//www.btinternet.com/~kneesupnorth/nicdiary.htm Claire, this page is perhaps worthy of a TCC link up, if only for the prescription details it contains of Squire Nick's unusual recipe for convulsion fits. And Bill, as the old saying goes: "He who eats goose on Michaelmas day, shan't money lack or have debts to pay." This happy consequence also makes for a healthier future.
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Tue May 7 20:16:34 2002
How's the mood on the street Bill after the political asassination? Methinks Europe, bored with the good life is starting to play up again as in the 30s.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Independent Burbo, , , Tue May 7 19:18:57 2002
If what Bill says is the case and I am sure there's a great deal to be said for it, then we should cut to the chase immediately and poll the global Crosbyite community for a Patron Saint for Crosby. In the interests of gravitas and all that, whilst acknowledging sensibilities, I do feel strongly that Bill Shankley and Dixie Dean ought not to be near the top of our listing. So, Lads and Lasses, what's your fancy saintwise, with a view to a longer and happier life for one and all?

... & God Bless
jj <jj>
Once more with feeling, <, The Darkening, Tue May 7 14:00:14 2002


Akshully Perf, if we're talking about the same piece of research, the researchers also studied groups of "ethnic" Japanese who have lived for several generations in the U.S.

To their surprisethey discovered that those who had assimilated into the American lifestyle, EVEN IF THEY FOLLOWED THE TRADITIONAL JAPANESE DIET, were just as likely to succumb to the diseases of their neighbours as anyone else.

However...those who still followed the Japanese family traditions and maintained a Japanese lifestyle in their homes had the same survival chances as their relatives in Nippon!!!

Seems that family, friends and stability play a more important role than the number of Big Macs consumed, and if you've ever been to a patron saint's feastday in the French or Spanish countryside, you'll know what I mean.
Bill <blue-eyes@buddhist.com>
, Amsterdam, , Tue May 7 12:02:34 2002


Hi, Claire I was reading your message on the notice board regarding pupils of St, Edmonds, I don't remember very much about it, but my sister and I attended St, Edmonds from 1937 to 1941, when our house on Brunswick Parade was bombed out and we had to moove to a new home on Brownmore Lane, I then attended Forefield Lane School,If I can help you with anything more please get back to me. BILL.
Bill Fitzpatrick <wjoya 1952 @ aol, com>
chicago, illinois, USA, Tue May 7 07:47:53 2002
I live in a house that was once dwelt in by the great Reggie Bosanquet. Does anyone elses house have a famous ex resident. Or am i just being sad? ??????
beware <of>
the, paperazz, photographers, Mon May 6 21:08:45 2002
Does any one remember when we were visited by the great Professor Puzzles? Think it was about 3 years agO Nos
Nos talgic <thinkalotaboutthepast>
crosberry, live here pool, Hingeland, Mon May 6 21:04:34 2002
Ach, Du! I knew der wass an angl der, verdammt nochmal!

...& Que Dios os bendiga
Johann Derselber <Bonne@toutefaire.edu>
Ashby von der Zouche, <, Die Bedunkleden, Mon May 6 17:39:36 2002


Recent studies reveal a lower incidence of heart attacks in Japan than in either the United States or the UK. This is attributed to a lower fat diet. On the other hand, the French and the Spanish consume a great deal of fat yet their level of heart related health problems is also lower than in the U.S. and the U.K. The Japanese rarely drink red wine, much less than in the U.K. and the U.S. whereas the French and the Spanish drink much much more. So clearly you can eat and drink as much as you want, it's speaking English that seems to be the problem. Keep up with the Spanglish and the Franglais, Andy. It's healthier !
P.Albion <fithcheallach@yahoo.com>
, , , Mon May 6 17:21:55 2002
How are things in Crosby? The FOUR Lamps saga: three shining brightly at midday. Bank Holiday scallies vandalising the Formby pinewoods. Arsenal top of the league. And me trying to make myself understood in Spanglish and Franglais. Bring on the Bavarians.
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
I dislike poverty - if only for financial reasons, , , Mon May 6 15:52:38 2002
We've gone quiet again, becalmed again,anonymous, public minded lurkers again, bewitched, bothered and begoogled am I.
Too-ra-lay <how@rethingsincrosby>
, , , Mon May 6 15:12:48 2002
Thinking on, I thought that Bonnie's friend, complete with snapshot was be-Googlable --->-->--> http://www.merseyworld.com/andymelia/ or similar hencely all you have to do is ask for the Bonnie Completion shots and you/we are away. And where's ar Kler anyways?

May There Drizzle Graces From Abovely
An anonymous public minded charlie <aapmc@tunbridge.biz>
<, <, TransAm, Thu May 2 20:26:41 2002


I would love to bow to the swell of public opinion. However, I have not, to my knowledge, been given a photo of either canine friend or other.

Please help and I will sort things out.
Claire Osborne <>
, , , Thu May 2 19:22:55 2002


Phoenix-like, rising from the ashes of the sinking-into -the-Mersey site of Crosby Baths a new 'sculpture' is beginning to emerge. Looking like a tepee from the vista of the great Burbo, the architectural theme of the noo Crosby Baths (allegedly) is to be...an oyster shell. Certainly looked impressive when I had a recent stroll along the shore - even Bonnie the dog was wagging wildly. Blue armbands or red?
Andy Melia <andy.melia@btinternet.com>
Top Board, , , Thu May 2 10:11:40 2002
Ian Hendry's parents lived at the College Road end of Winchester Ave. opposite Shrewsbury Ave. when I knew him. Cheers.
Stewart <schristian@keristal.freeuk.com>
also down south, , , Wed May 1 20:09:41 2002
Mr. Hodge: Add to your films shot on Mers